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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Or is this woman in my car!

532 replies

NameSame · 15/04/2017 19:51

Hello everyone.
Just curious as to wether I'm a hormonal grumpy little shit or if this cowbag is BU?
I pick OH up from work daily. (Not too far, would take about thirty to forty mins to walk, but unsociable hours, and grotty weather up north plus me liking to make sure he's home earlier rather than later so he doesn't wake us all up, I mean that it seems the easiest option!) anyway, he has a colleague who lives about half way home, but requires us to drive just shy of a mile round the back of our village iyswm. She has asked DP for lifts home a number of times, to which he replies "I've got to ask DP as I don't have a car at the moment and she's picking me up!" He then pootles out and asks if it is o.k to which I always reply yes as we are going almost past. (2-3 minute detour) absolutely fine.
But her attitude legitimately stinks this is where I think she's being U:

I have to park about five minutes away and I then walk up to dps work, where I wait. We then all walk down to the car. where this woman just barges past me doesn't say hello or even acknowledge me. Sits in the front seat of my car, (DP always drives as he actually enjoys it, and I do it out of necessity) leaving me in the 3rd row (VW transporter with car seats for DNs and goddaughter in middle!) AND DOESN'T SAY THANKS WHEN SHE LEAVES
She blatantly ignores me when I say Hi/bye personX, spends the whole time nattering to dp, who regularly tries to include me but he can barely get a word in tbh. And she knows it's my car, and my petrol etc.*

So I guess my AIBUs are:
Am I BU to feel grumpy?
Is she BU to ignore me?
Would I be U to give her one more chance and then tell DP to tell her to walk?

Cheers

OP posts:
JorahsMissus · 15/04/2017 23:12

blatant place marking.....

redshoeblueshoe · 15/04/2017 23:12

kanga - I thought that too, is she in a senior position to him ?
Ask your DP is she usually rude ?

mrsnoon · 15/04/2017 23:12

Placemarking as I really need to get some sleep so I'll catch up in the morning.

Fig678 · 15/04/2017 23:14

Placemarking

Member652554 · 15/04/2017 23:17

I am sorry you get treated this way op. This sounds very degrading and I would hate to sit two rows back while some strange woman is sat talking to my partner in the front.

I am concerned as to why your DP let's this woman behave this way??

Is she his manager/senior? And is he is therefore worried about upsetting her ?

If that is not the case , her attitude is not the issue here, it's the relationship between the two you need to be concerned about.

dubdurbs · 15/04/2017 23:25

spill something on the front seat and don't tell her

Piss. Warm, preferably.

Insomnibrat · 15/04/2017 23:26

Im sorry OP I wouldn't necessarily worry as such but I would DEFINATELY ask him.

Her irritation at your presence is clear, clear enough for her to want DH to notice it. She stamped her mark by making sure you were relegated and has had her behaviour reinforced by it not being corrected.

Alarm bells here.

Jaxhog · 15/04/2017 23:28

She is extremely rude. Your DP just needs to say no . I bet she doesn't even offer to pay for any petrol!

NameSame · 15/04/2017 23:29

I'm driving home, will be leaving in 20/30.
I take DP, we never pick her up. I hate driving so that's why DP does the going home bit.
FWIW DP Doesn't like it but we're very nonconfrontational as a pair! Blush

OP posts:
LilQueenie · 15/04/2017 23:31

good for you OP. I take it you text him?

NameSame · 15/04/2017 23:31

DP is fairly new. She's not senior in terms of role, but seems to have made her mark via manipulating/bitchiness and has been about years.

all these suggestions of petrol money ABSOLUTELY BLOODY HILARIOUS

OP posts:
0nTheEdge · 15/04/2017 23:32

Have you asked your dh what her problem is? I couldn't put up with this and, depending on how brave i was feeling would either drive myself, say to dh yes to lift but meet at the car and and be sat in passenger seat when they got there, or when dh asks if friend can have a lift say 'no because she is rude'. Then leave it up to dh to say no.

RTKangaMummy · 15/04/2017 23:37

So she is just a manipulating bullying cow then

UrsulaPandress · 15/04/2017 23:39

Cheeky mare.

Easter Shock
redshoeblueshoe · 15/04/2017 23:40

It sounds like she is a bully.
Just drive off without her.
or tell her to fuck off

LoveDeathPrizes · 15/04/2017 23:44

She is dissing you... that's right. I'm so engaged by this woman's behaviour that I'm bringing back an over used phrase from the early noughties. That's how mad I am.

GotToGetMyFingerOut · 15/04/2017 23:49

I'd say to her face 'really sorry, not tonight..iv other plans for on the way home" then look at your husband hungrily. 😂

Stop running her..rude cow.

NameSame · 15/04/2017 23:54

OH GOD. It's almost time. HmmConfusedBlush

OP posts:
JonSnowsWhore · 15/04/2017 23:55

Been trying to sleep for ages but might aswell stay up for the update now Grin

If this woman doesn't even ask for a lift tonight I'm going to be extremely pissed off, we need at least a bit of drama!

MrTCakes · 15/04/2017 23:59

I am excited.

NameSame · 15/04/2017 23:59

I persistently maintained that myself and DP were boring and not confrontational 😂

I told you not to settle in with the popcorn!

Either way they'll be here soonish and I'm panicking!!

😂😂

OP posts:
haveacupoftea · 16/04/2017 00:00

Surely the answer is for you to drive and sit cheerfully in the front seat forcing her to talk to you.

NameSame · 16/04/2017 00:01

I think I'm going to go for super nice at first Asking her how she is etc then just cutting her off to talk to DP

OP posts:
NameSame · 16/04/2017 00:01

I think it should be DP and I in the front?

OP posts:
honeylulu · 16/04/2017 00:02

Yes OP and DP in front!!!

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