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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Or is this woman in my car!

532 replies

NameSame · 15/04/2017 19:51

Hello everyone.
Just curious as to wether I'm a hormonal grumpy little shit or if this cowbag is BU?
I pick OH up from work daily. (Not too far, would take about thirty to forty mins to walk, but unsociable hours, and grotty weather up north plus me liking to make sure he's home earlier rather than later so he doesn't wake us all up, I mean that it seems the easiest option!) anyway, he has a colleague who lives about half way home, but requires us to drive just shy of a mile round the back of our village iyswm. She has asked DP for lifts home a number of times, to which he replies "I've got to ask DP as I don't have a car at the moment and she's picking me up!" He then pootles out and asks if it is o.k to which I always reply yes as we are going almost past. (2-3 minute detour) absolutely fine.
But her attitude legitimately stinks this is where I think she's being U:

I have to park about five minutes away and I then walk up to dps work, where I wait. We then all walk down to the car. where this woman just barges past me doesn't say hello or even acknowledge me. Sits in the front seat of my car, (DP always drives as he actually enjoys it, and I do it out of necessity) leaving me in the 3rd row (VW transporter with car seats for DNs and goddaughter in middle!) AND DOESN'T SAY THANKS WHEN SHE LEAVES
She blatantly ignores me when I say Hi/bye personX, spends the whole time nattering to dp, who regularly tries to include me but he can barely get a word in tbh. And she knows it's my car, and my petrol etc.*

So I guess my AIBUs are:
Am I BU to feel grumpy?
Is she BU to ignore me?
Would I be U to give her one more chance and then tell DP to tell her to walk?

Cheers

OP posts:
Dumbo412 · 15/04/2017 22:40

Waiting on an update. Sorry but that bitch would be under my tyres!....such poor impulse control I have.

Who does she think she is?

HecateAntaia · 15/04/2017 22:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Teabagtits · 15/04/2017 22:41

Posting to keep an eye for an update

user1469300540 · 15/04/2017 22:43

Good luck OP!

Whisky2014 · 15/04/2017 22:43

Marking place

TheDisappearingUser · 15/04/2017 22:44

Excellent thread.

She is a cheeky fucker!

Fanciedachange17 · 15/04/2017 22:45

Hmm. I think you need to shake both of them up. How about one of those fake turds on the front seat? Or a bag from Anne Summers seemingly full of toys left in full sight? Or medication bottles? I'd so want to label one as Viagra. Embarrass the woman. Either make her feel you and DP have a shit hot sex life or he has medical problems. Least this gives you a laugh. Or be really mean and smear chocolate on the seat before she parks her arse on it. Then you can snigger at the brown stains.

NameSame · 15/04/2017 22:46

Definitely prepping.
Should i have a word with DP regarding this and ask if there's anything going on?

OP posts:
Fanciedachange17 · 15/04/2017 22:48

Have a radio in the back with you and turn it up really loudly when she starts talking. If she turns to look at you then start rocking side to side with your thumb in your mouth, grinning wildly. She'll soon find alternative methods of getting home!

HecateAntaia · 15/04/2017 22:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Fanciedachange17 · 15/04/2017 22:49

Get your motorbike licence and buy one to go and collect DP.

LilQueenie · 15/04/2017 22:50

I would definitely speak to him OP. I don't want to be negative but he is letting her away with treating you like crap and I would not like to think that they are using you. At the very least he needs to be backing you up.

redshoeblueshoe · 15/04/2017 22:53

I have Wine Easter Smile
What time does he finish tonight ?
not placemarking at all

TimeToMoveOnUp · 15/04/2017 22:54

She likes your DP, and in her head his treatment of you is confirmation of how he feels about her

melj1213 · 15/04/2017 22:56

No normal polite person would ever act like this woman and be so entitled about the front seat.

If I am ever getting a lift I will always go for the back seat, the only exceptions being with my friend who has two kids still in car seats so if I'm getting a lift off her and her DP she will always let me sit in the front as it's a tight squeeze to get into the middle and it's just logistically easier to let me sit in the front; or with my brother as he and I are both 6ft plus so the front seats of his car are set right back ... his gf is a petite 5ft2 so to save faffing with chairs and adjusting things, she always just offers me the front seat and she can sit quite comfortably in the back with the kids. The key thing with both of those scenarios is that I wait until I'm offered the front seat, I don't just barge past them to get it!

LemonRedwood · 15/04/2017 22:57

I'm only here for the live update Easter Grin

RTKangaMummy · 15/04/2017 23:01

So she must be senior in the company to your DP?

Like his manager or boss?

You just call her colleague

Otherwise he would tell her to not be rude and sit in back

Deffo do not give her lift again and make sure DP doesn't have car

What happens in morning do they walk there together? Or do you drive him? Wot about her?

HarryPottersMagicWand · 15/04/2017 23:01

I thought she fancies him straight away.

The fact she gets in the front, leaving you to sit in the back of your own car is what gets me the most! What a rude fucking twat. I wouldn't let her get in my car ever again, she's had enough chances and it taking you for a mug.

Chippednailvarnishing · 15/04/2017 23:02

me too

any news OP?

SoulAccount · 15/04/2017 23:03

Teach your DH to Go Mumsnet on her and say "did you mean to be so rude to NameSame?"

Give over with the swapping driving. It looks like a loss of status in her eyes. By letting him drive, you are not giving her a lift, you are simply delivering the car so that HE can give her a lift.

Stay in the car, text him, stay in the drivers seat.

Tell him that this is how it will be, and he can be the one to sit in the back unless he is prepared to face her down.

Tell him it's his colleague, his problem.

tellywelly · 15/04/2017 23:03

OP what's the story?!

Travelledtheworld · 15/04/2017 23:08

Is there something wrong with her, like limited social skills ?

Closedenv · 15/04/2017 23:09

Infuriating freeloader needs putting in her place ie no manners no lift and she used up that offer already!

HappenedForAReisling · 15/04/2017 23:10

I wouldn't ask him if there's anything going on.

I'd get in the passenger seat and see if he asks you to move. That will tell you more than if you ask him outright, I reckon.

Chippednailvarnishing · 15/04/2017 23:11

spill something on the front seat and don't tell her Easter Grin