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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Or is this woman in my car!

532 replies

NameSame · 15/04/2017 19:51

Hello everyone.
Just curious as to wether I'm a hormonal grumpy little shit or if this cowbag is BU?
I pick OH up from work daily. (Not too far, would take about thirty to forty mins to walk, but unsociable hours, and grotty weather up north plus me liking to make sure he's home earlier rather than later so he doesn't wake us all up, I mean that it seems the easiest option!) anyway, he has a colleague who lives about half way home, but requires us to drive just shy of a mile round the back of our village iyswm. She has asked DP for lifts home a number of times, to which he replies "I've got to ask DP as I don't have a car at the moment and she's picking me up!" He then pootles out and asks if it is o.k to which I always reply yes as we are going almost past. (2-3 minute detour) absolutely fine.
But her attitude legitimately stinks this is where I think she's being U:

I have to park about five minutes away and I then walk up to dps work, where I wait. We then all walk down to the car. where this woman just barges past me doesn't say hello or even acknowledge me. Sits in the front seat of my car, (DP always drives as he actually enjoys it, and I do it out of necessity) leaving me in the 3rd row (VW transporter with car seats for DNs and goddaughter in middle!) AND DOESN'T SAY THANKS WHEN SHE LEAVES
She blatantly ignores me when I say Hi/bye personX, spends the whole time nattering to dp, who regularly tries to include me but he can barely get a word in tbh. And she knows it's my car, and my petrol etc.*

So I guess my AIBUs are:
Am I BU to feel grumpy?
Is she BU to ignore me?
Would I be U to give her one more chance and then tell DP to tell her to walk?

Cheers

OP posts:
LilQueenie · 16/04/2017 00:03

yes yes yes to you and dp in the front. Tonight its all change. go for it.

Insomnibrat · 16/04/2017 00:04

DEFINATELY you and DP in the front. Don't question yourself!

Lunde · 16/04/2017 00:04

When you get there scoot into the passenger seat and then text DH that you are there so she will have no option but the back seat

haveacupoftea · 16/04/2017 00:05

Oh I didn't realise you were going to sit in the front with DH. Yeah do it! She's a fucking cow and she is NOT the boss of you!

JonSnowsWhore · 16/04/2017 00:08

No don't be super nice! She should be the one to start the niceness you're the one doing her a favour!! Plus if she's a cow again then you don't ever have to take her home again 😊

Maudlinmaud · 16/04/2017 00:09

Come on name, the nice people everywhere are rooting for you.

kittybiscuits · 16/04/2017 00:14

You have nothing to feel uncomfortable about. And no reason to be nice. Deep breaths and calm down.

honeyroar · 16/04/2017 00:14

Yes definitely you in the front!

And update us in the car - apologise for being on your phone and ignoring her, but you've got a thread going on Mumsnet about a rude woman who insists on having a lift home but is really bad mannered...

TheNiffler · 16/04/2017 00:14

Do NOT make excuses, or pretend you're going elsewhere. She's not going to get that.

Either you directly address her, force her to speak to you, then confront her, or YOU get in the driver's side, and drive home. Then confront her.

Pull your big girl pants up, lovely. You can do this. Just think of her face as you drive off as motivation.

haveacupoftea · 16/04/2017 00:18

I bet it's happening now Shock

FeralBeryl · 16/04/2017 00:19

Oh NameSame I hope you're ok and have done the deed!

Chippednailvarnishing · 16/04/2017 00:19

I'm in bed waiting for an update

I'm a sad fucker who needs to get a life

IrishElla · 16/04/2017 00:19

Placemarking

nocoolnamesleft · 16/04/2017 00:20

The suspense...

NaiceBiscuits · 16/04/2017 00:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HappenedForAReisling · 16/04/2017 00:23

Don't make excuses - that just gets you out of the moment but she'll still expect a lift other evenings and you'll run out of excuses.

I never really got the feeling there was anything going on.

From either side, if I was having an affair with a colleague and had the brass balls to give my lover a lift/get a lift with my married lover I think we'd be sat at opposite ends of the car and not speaking.

And good luck!

iknowimcoming · 16/04/2017 00:24

DH is seriously taking the piss out of me for bringing my iPad to bed to watch this thread - hurry up op! Grin

OwlOfBrown · 16/04/2017 00:25

TheNiffler is right.

Forget all the silly games and just be blunt and say it like it is. "I don't like you. You're rude, you don't offer to pay your way, and you don't say thank you. We are not going to give you a lift home again.

She's displaying very clear bullying tactics. She's seeing how far she can push you and your OH before you snap. I suspect she isn't interested in your DH beyond making him (and by extension, you) into her next victims.

TalkingofMichaelAngel0 · 16/04/2017 00:25

BlAtent placemarkingz

JonSnowsWhore · 16/04/2017 00:26

She can't update til she's home, she said she's going to drive

trulybadlydeeply · 16/04/2017 00:26

Just RTFT, and now can't sleep until I know the outcome! Hope you put her in her place OP

Floggingmolly · 16/04/2017 00:27

Of course it should be you and DP in the front!! Why are you even questioning that? And why did you both meekly accept her barging her way into the front seat in the first place?

AwaywiththePixies27 · 16/04/2017 00:28

As a rule of thumb, I decline lifts even when offered. The only time I accept a lift is if my Dad or my BIL offers. One of my closest friends, she doesn't drive her husband does and I've only ever asked him for a lift once.

There's been quite a few school mums offer us lifts and I've always politely declined as I dont want them to feel obliged to ask in the future.

Can you not think of something OP? "sorry we can't take you tonight, we're off to x (like a dentist appointment miles away kind of thing)".

catswithbowties · 16/04/2017 00:29

Waiting in suspense... (placemarking)

NeegansWife · 16/04/2017 00:30

You could always put loads of 'shopping', bags, etc on the passenger seat, your DP drives and you could sit in the back with her. And. Just. Stare. At. Her.

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