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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Or is this woman in my car!

532 replies

NameSame · 15/04/2017 19:51

Hello everyone.
Just curious as to wether I'm a hormonal grumpy little shit or if this cowbag is BU?
I pick OH up from work daily. (Not too far, would take about thirty to forty mins to walk, but unsociable hours, and grotty weather up north plus me liking to make sure he's home earlier rather than later so he doesn't wake us all up, I mean that it seems the easiest option!) anyway, he has a colleague who lives about half way home, but requires us to drive just shy of a mile round the back of our village iyswm. She has asked DP for lifts home a number of times, to which he replies "I've got to ask DP as I don't have a car at the moment and she's picking me up!" He then pootles out and asks if it is o.k to which I always reply yes as we are going almost past. (2-3 minute detour) absolutely fine.
But her attitude legitimately stinks this is where I think she's being U:

I have to park about five minutes away and I then walk up to dps work, where I wait. We then all walk down to the car. where this woman just barges past me doesn't say hello or even acknowledge me. Sits in the front seat of my car, (DP always drives as he actually enjoys it, and I do it out of necessity) leaving me in the 3rd row (VW transporter with car seats for DNs and goddaughter in middle!) AND DOESN'T SAY THANKS WHEN SHE LEAVES
She blatantly ignores me when I say Hi/bye personX, spends the whole time nattering to dp, who regularly tries to include me but he can barely get a word in tbh. And she knows it's my car, and my petrol etc.*

So I guess my AIBUs are:
Am I BU to feel grumpy?
Is she BU to ignore me?
Would I be U to give her one more chance and then tell DP to tell her to walk?

Cheers

OP posts:

SuperFlyHigh · 15/04/2017 21:53

No. 1 - she fancies your DP definitely.
No. 2 - why is your DP being such a wuss letting her push you around?
No. 3 - please tell her to fuck off out of your car and learn some manners.

I think the time has passed for niceties here. People will always push as hard as they can.

The other week (I hate confrontation) I had a male colleague at work talk to me like shit (he was training at me), laugh behind me back to someone else and in front of me in an obvious way etc, I called him straight out on, it said it was bordering on bullying and if it happened again I'd go to our line manager (we're a mixture of perm staff and gov temps). He was much nicer afterwards and apologised even though now I swear he bitches about me on Skype to our colleagues but so what!. Felt so good calling the idiot out though.

SuperFlyHigh · 15/04/2017 21:54

glen that's excellent in the nearest field preferably with a field to cross, also with a small stream and a nice friendly bull in the field! Ah the pleasures and conveniences of living in the countryside eh?!

DonaldTrumpsTrump · 15/04/2017 21:55

What time are you due to pick him up OP? There'll be thousands of us waiting with baited breath

SuperFlyHigh · 15/04/2017 21:56

Oh OP even though you may be tempted I wouldn't do a United Airlines and forcibly drag her out of her seat! (Read that thread here today!). I'd be tempted to do that though!

Ragdoll545 · 15/04/2017 21:56

When you pick them up next wait st the car, you really don't need to walk up to meet them, but sit in the front passenger seat giving your dp the drivers seat and stupid bitch work colleague the back, refuse to acknowledge her and talk over her to your do asking about his day and telling him about yours. There's no drama there, no confrontation but you'll put her right back in her place. And she can't moan she's still getting a lift. I bet she doesn't offer petrol money!

SuperFlyHigh · 15/04/2017 21:57

Donald one better, if it's not sorted out by next week time for a MN coach trip to support the OP!

We can have deckchairs and popcorn ready then plus pitchforks!

happypoobum · 15/04/2017 22:01

Totally agree with Super

What a fucking liberty. How you haven't chinned her before now I do not know!

Just tell DH you aren't going to give her a lift any more. End of story. Rude bitch!

QuintessentialShadow · 15/04/2017 22:04

Or,
You can just drive this once, let her get into the front seat, and your dp in the back, and drive off before she realizes.

Then you can
a) drive her home slowly, while you try make cringeworthy conversation to her (about her rudeness) or ;
b) drive in silence to your OWN home, and looked shocked to realize she was there, going "oh, I did not realize you were there!" and just go in! (let her get a cab from yours)

That would be so fun....

WashBasketsAreUs · 15/04/2017 22:07

thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter

Was that 'atta girl' directed at me? (So proud if it was!!!)

Imaginingdragonsagain · 15/04/2017 22:07

How rude!

ohfourfoxache · 15/04/2017 22:08

Think you're going to have to do something op - this can't carry on

DartmoorDoughnut · 15/04/2017 22:10

Definitely do not let her get her own way, I'll bet she says she has car sickness if you're in the front seat so just say so do I or something!

LilQueenie · 15/04/2017 22:15

you could try saying to your dh when she is present once in the car if you end up there "oh btw I had to strip the beds. I've been cleaning like a maniac all day." then mutter about lice while scratching like mad and shaking your hair about in her direction. oh and tell him you bought him nit shampoo too. Anything to wind her up and make her uncomfortable.

I really hope there is no affair but you know you could always mention to him you picked up his chlamydia cream or whatever. Make the bitch sweat.

Ellie56 · 15/04/2017 22:16

You are definitely not U, but she is and very rude too. Why are you still giving her lifts? Tell her to piss off.

QueenieMum · 15/04/2017 22:16

Behind you all the way NameSame, good luck! Rude people don't deserve niceties.

Jaynebxl · 15/04/2017 22:17

Can you do as suggested and text dh to say come and find you?

Then sit in the front passenger seat. Don't drive... she could then still sit in the front. Sit in the passenger seat so dh has to drive and you are both safely esconced in the front.

gingeristhenewblack43 · 15/04/2017 22:17

Just settling in. I do like a good binge read with an imminent finale. Good luck OP, stand firm, we're all behind you!

BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 15/04/2017 22:19

Stay in the driver's seat.
Put a penguin bollard in passenger seat

EatsLeavesAndShit · 15/04/2017 22:19

When she tries to get into the front seat you should make a V sign with your fingers, then suggestively lick them while staring at her meaningfully. I doubt she'll want a lift again.

Nanny0gg · 15/04/2017 22:29

If she is a colleague of your OH, why hasn't he pulled her up on her behaviour?

ScarlettFreestone · 15/04/2017 22:30

Guests get in the back always.

My DH wouldn't bother to check - he'd say "no" if a colleague was that rude to me.

MrsSchadenfreude · 15/04/2017 22:32

I've got a nice cup of tea and I'm settled on the sofa with the cat waiting for an update.

Freyanna · 15/04/2017 22:32

Yanbu! She is a rude horror, why should you get upset, no more lifts!

Sugarpiehoneyeye · 15/04/2017 22:36

Definitely got the hots for your DH. Time to take control OP, do it in style ! 😄⭐️

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 15/04/2017 22:39

Ooh I want an update post-lift! (or non-lift, as the case may be!)

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