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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Or is this woman in my car!

532 replies

NameSame · 15/04/2017 19:51

Hello everyone.
Just curious as to wether I'm a hormonal grumpy little shit or if this cowbag is BU?
I pick OH up from work daily. (Not too far, would take about thirty to forty mins to walk, but unsociable hours, and grotty weather up north plus me liking to make sure he's home earlier rather than later so he doesn't wake us all up, I mean that it seems the easiest option!) anyway, he has a colleague who lives about half way home, but requires us to drive just shy of a mile round the back of our village iyswm. She has asked DP for lifts home a number of times, to which he replies "I've got to ask DP as I don't have a car at the moment and she's picking me up!" He then pootles out and asks if it is o.k to which I always reply yes as we are going almost past. (2-3 minute detour) absolutely fine.
But her attitude legitimately stinks this is where I think she's being U:

I have to park about five minutes away and I then walk up to dps work, where I wait. We then all walk down to the car. where this woman just barges past me doesn't say hello or even acknowledge me. Sits in the front seat of my car, (DP always drives as he actually enjoys it, and I do it out of necessity) leaving me in the 3rd row (VW transporter with car seats for DNs and goddaughter in middle!) AND DOESN'T SAY THANKS WHEN SHE LEAVES
She blatantly ignores me when I say Hi/bye personX, spends the whole time nattering to dp, who regularly tries to include me but he can barely get a word in tbh. And she knows it's my car, and my petrol etc.*

So I guess my AIBUs are:
Am I BU to feel grumpy?
Is she BU to ignore me?
Would I be U to give her one more chance and then tell DP to tell her to walk?

Cheers

OP posts:
ClopySow · 15/04/2017 21:18

Definitely fondle.

Pollydonia · 15/04/2017 21:21

Ooh, I cannot stand ungrateful people Angry

AuroraBora · 15/04/2017 21:21

Well OP if you're that much of a pushover then let it be known that you have to do something tonight, otherwise we will all judge you Grin applies peer pressure

In all seriousness though she's a rude bitch.

This is why I luffs my DP. For an English person he is surprisingly bold at calling people out and would have told her after lift number 2 that she needed to sit in the back and say thank you. I am like you OP and a complete wimp Grin

Katie0705 · 15/04/2017 21:24

Leave a bagged up dog turd festering in the boot of your car for a couple of day, especially while it is warm. That should put her off getting in your car for life.

Found this out through own experience of forgetting to empty the boot and put the doggie turd bags in the bin when we got home from a walk. The car was in the sun for two days.. [shocked]

40somethingwonderful · 15/04/2017 21:25

Cheery bitch. She wouldn't be getting in my car again.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 15/04/2017 21:25

She gets in your car without. A hi or even a kiss my arse.
I'd have hoofed the cheeky bitch out and told her to walk.
YADNBU

GabsAlot · 15/04/2017 21:26

why get o9ut of the car-just slide over to the pasenger side and just sit there and ignore her

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 15/04/2017 21:28

I'd sit in the front and silently eat a tube of Pringles and not offer her even one. Unless she spoke pleasantly to me, then I would offer her one but possibly give it a big, fuck off this is my territory lick, while looking her dead in the eye, before handing it over

But I'm a badass*

.

.

*Totally not a badass.

thenightsky · 15/04/2017 21:28

gabs she cannot slide over... read the OP... she has to park up and walk to her DP's work place.

NoSquirrels · 15/04/2017 21:28

You're nicer than me from the get-go, OP, because I'd never have left the car park in the first place - why ever have you been waking to collect your fella anyway when he could just come to you at prearranged time? Quick text from car park to say I was there waiting would have been all my lovely DH would get! So in that scenario, I'd make sure she sat in the back before swapping drivers (but in reality I would just drive, and I'm also the reluctant driver in our relationship, but for short regular pick up trips like this wouldn't seem worth the swap over).

Katie0705 · 15/04/2017 21:29

ThoraGruntwhistle
Ah, good evening Crazybitchname! Just one thing, quick question, you do realise we are doing you a FAVOUR with these lifts, right? Because you NEVER say thank you or even acknowledge me, and you barge your way into the car like you own the fucker. Start showing some manners and petrol money, you unspeakable trout.'

Love it Grin GrinGrin

VeraVinegarTits · 15/04/2017 21:30

Really can't convey it more succinctly than honeylulu Grin
OP, what a rude bitch she sounds, I certainly wouldn't give her a lift again.

Inertia · 15/04/2017 21:33

Well, barging her way to the front seat and being ignorant and ungrateful is working perfectly for her so far, so why would she change?

You could probably do with having a conversation with your H in advance of refusing further lifts, to avoid a scene which would make things uncomfortable for your H and his colleague. For tonight, you need to get into the passenger seat (because H will probably insist on driving as usual)and text DH that you're waiting in the car.

User543210 · 15/04/2017 21:34

Shamelessly placemarking Grin

magicstar1 · 15/04/2017 21:36

Do you watch Big Bang Theory? Pull a Sheldon and say "you're in my spot".

user7298922193 · 15/04/2017 21:36

Give her a lift again but drive in the opposite direction of her house until she notices then tell her to GTFO and walk Smile

Misstic · 15/04/2017 21:37

This is your car and your DP. No need to get yourself involved in all trickery, passive aggressive behaviour and other stuff. Just tell your DP you do not wish to give this woman a lift again and please don't ask you to do so again. Also ask him what does he think about her behaviour.

Let your DP deal with this crazy situation. Just tell him you want no more of it and let him deal with his colleague. He is the one brining this mess into your car and into your life.

iknowimcoming · 15/04/2017 21:39

Let her have it op, we are all with you. A less aggressive start would definitely be to just text your dp to let him know where you are parked and stay in the drivers seat and see if she still commandeers the front passenger seat, I bet she doesn't Angry

Penfold007 · 15/04/2017 21:42

I bet she either doesn't want to or actually can't climb in the back of the van so she rushes to get the easiest seat to get out of. She's still rude and your plan of staying in the driver's seat seems fair, I bet your DH ends up in the back.

SarcasmMode · 15/04/2017 21:43

YANBU how rude.

I'd actually call her out on it but I'm a mouthy cow.

Original poster
NameSame · 15/04/2017 21:46

Oh I am feeling highly motivated.
Even if it's just to say we are off to some 24 hour kebab shop! Grin

OP posts:
Starlighter · 15/04/2017 21:50

She'd probably expect you to buy her a kebab too!

LilQueenie · 15/04/2017 21:51

I would go with the text while sitting in the car waiting and ask him what the deal is. or whilst doing so tell him you know about the affair (not saying it is but might be what it needs to get through to him) I can't understand why he lets her do this to you. I would be careful though not to let this continue. Definitely put a stop to it.

44PumpLane · 15/04/2017 21:53

Another vote for staying in the drivers seat tonight- it would be really interesting to see where she chooses to sit with you in he front!

glenthebattleostrich · 15/04/2017 21:53

As a receiver of lifts she is clearly in breach of the lift recipient code of conduct. As such you are entitled to take her to a random location, spin her around 5 times then leave her to find her own way home.