Or is this woman in my car!

[NameSame]

Hello everyone.
Just curious as to wether I'm a hormonal grumpy little shit or if this cowbag is BU?
I pick OH up from work daily. (Not too far, would take about thirty to forty mins to walk, but unsociable hours, and grotty weather up north plus me liking to make sure he's home earlier rather than later so he doesn't wake us all up, I mean that it seems the easiest option!) anyway, he has a colleague who lives about half way home, but requires us to drive just shy of a mile round the back of our village iyswm. She has asked DP for lifts home a number of times, to which he replies "I've got to ask DP as I don't have a car at the moment and she's picking me up!" He then pootles out and asks if it is o.k to which I always reply yes as we are going almost past. (2-3 minute detour) absolutely fine.
But her attitude legitimately stinks this is where I think she's being U:

I have to park about five minutes away and I then walk up to dps work, where I wait. We then all walk down to the car. where this woman just barges past me doesn't say hello or even acknowledge me. Sits in the front seat of my car, (DP always drives as he actually enjoys it, and I do it out of necessity) leaving me in the 3rd row (VW transporter with car seats for DNs and goddaughter in middle!) AND DOESN'T SAY THANKS WHEN SHE LEAVES
She blatantly ignores me when I say Hi/bye personX, spends the whole time nattering to dp, who regularly tries to include me but he can barely get a word in tbh. And she knows it's my car, and my petrol etc.*

So I guess my AIBUs are:
Am I BU to feel grumpy?
Is she BU to ignore me?
Would I be U to give her one more chance and then tell DP to tell her to walk?

Cheers

I'd give her a lift, but I wouldn't let her sit in front.

"So sorry, but do you mind getting in the back? Sitting in the back makes me car sick."

Sickly sweet politeness, along with a stony glint in the eye - it never fails IME.

I would also pre-warn DP that I was going to do this to make sure he backed me, not her!!

If you insist on giving her another chance that she doesn't deserve, I'd get in the car but don't switch the engine on and say "hello X" bitch-face . If she sits in silence I'd say it again and if she ignores you again I'd say "Right get out of my car" and literally sit there until she does. Then let her eat dust and humble pie

Thanks everyone. I'm seriously plotting right now! expat yes we are wet girls blouses, unfortunately.

Also why isn't your DH asking why is she so rude to you?

Does she say thanks to DH? I'm wondering if she's not quite grasped that its your car because he drives?

Either way the rest of it is rude and she can walk. I can't drive so get lifts a lot, I wouldn't dream of behaving how you've described, I might be a bit less chatty with someone I don't know but there would at least be a hi and bye.

I like honeyroars approach too. I'd actually do this given the right day.
On a different day I'd just say no. No explanation specially given your fella has to tell her. He can be the one to deal with the bitch, you don't know her from Adam

When's the next pick up so we can all get the popcorn ready 🍿👀

She doesn't thank anyone unicorn

What time are you driving him?

I won't bother with giving either of them a lift , tbh

*wouldn't

It amazes me what some folk put up with, and for so long. You are too kind OP. I'm a curmudgeonly old bat.

She doesn't thank anyone

Oooo she thinks she's a speshul snowflake.

Take her down a peg or ten, you'll feel so much better for it and think of it as doing her a favour teaching her a lesson in why manners matter. do it do it

Stop letting your DP drive. Let's see how keen she is to jump in the front with you. It will be very telling if she gets into the third row with your DP!

Yes! You must let us know what happens on next pick up! Be firm OP, you can do it!

don't switch the engine on and say "hello X" bitch-face. If she sits in silence I'd say it again and if she ignores you again I'd say "Right get out of my car" and literally sit there until she does.

please do this, or just sit in silence til she's forced to talk to you to find out why you aren't moving. (tell DP that's what you are doing)

Not saying thank you to anyone is just really rude.

Early ish one tonight 10:30 /11 I think!!

I would actually start telling DH to say no without coming over to ask you - "sorry we're busy tonight".

After all she's not actually anything to do with you.

I'm getting worried that X is on MN though! this is a very identifying post!

Get in!

chipped I think that's probably the best thing to do, but I feel like I wouldn't be bringing home the bacon in terms of mumsnet drama!! 😂

you have the key. Put it in your pocket.

lock it. Don't unlock it.

say "hello" to her, loudly. If no reply, say it again. If no reply, ask why not. Don't unlock the door for her to get in until she replies.

In advance, fill the front passenger seat with your coat, bag, sack of spuds, crate of Guinness..

If she tries to get in the front, say "In the back, please, Esmerelda".

Get into the front yourself. Close and lock the door and throw the sack of potatoes etc over your shoulder, while commenting that you always sit in the front of your own car.

In future, don't relinquish the key until you are sitting in the front.

Fuck it, slap the bitch.

And then update us.

Absolutely sounds like she fancies your partner.

She's rude. Say no.
I'd have to make a point of saying you're welcome when she doesnt say thank you so she knows he's exactly why she won't be getting a lift again.
Let us know is what happens