Or is this woman in my car!

[NameSame]

Hello everyone.
Just curious as to wether I'm a hormonal grumpy little shit or if this cowbag is BU?
I pick OH up from work daily. (Not too far, would take about thirty to forty mins to walk, but unsociable hours, and grotty weather up north plus me liking to make sure he's home earlier rather than later so he doesn't wake us all up, I mean that it seems the easiest option!) anyway, he has a colleague who lives about half way home, but requires us to drive just shy of a mile round the back of our village iyswm. She has asked DP for lifts home a number of times, to which he replies "I've got to ask DP as I don't have a car at the moment and she's picking me up!" He then pootles out and asks if it is o.k to which I always reply yes as we are going almost past. (2-3 minute detour) absolutely fine.
But her attitude legitimately stinks this is where I think she's being U:

I have to park about five minutes away and I then walk up to dps work, where I wait. We then all walk down to the car. where this woman just barges past me doesn't say hello or even acknowledge me. Sits in the front seat of my car, (DP always drives as he actually enjoys it, and I do it out of necessity) leaving me in the 3rd row (VW transporter with car seats for DNs and goddaughter in middle!) AND DOESN'T SAY THANKS WHEN SHE LEAVES
She blatantly ignores me when I say Hi/bye personX, spends the whole time nattering to dp, who regularly tries to include me but he can barely get a word in tbh. And she knows it's my car, and my petrol etc.*

So I guess my AIBUs are:
Am I BU to feel grumpy?
Is she BU to ignore me?
Would I be U to give her one more chance and then tell DP to tell her to walk?

Cheers

Sorry, I misunderstood. Not letting her cut you off was reasonable.

Well done OP! She sounds a right rude cow. If she's been in the job a lot longer than your OH and has always managed to get to work and back, then surely she can manage again? She's completely taking advantage. You'll probably find half the workplace have been corralled into giving her a lift at some point. They were probably relieved when your OH came along and took the job off their hands. I would just tell him to tell her sorry, but we can't give you a lift anymore, no explanation needed. She'll soon find some other mug 😉

Well done OP! She sounds a right rude cow. If she's been in the job a lot longer than your OH and has always managed to get to work and back, then surely she can manage again? She's completely taking advantage. You'll probably find half the workplace have been corralled into giving her a lift at some point. They were probably relieved when your OH came along and took the job off their hands. I would just tell him to tell her sorry, but we can't give you a lift anymore, no explanation needed. She'll soon find some other mug 😉

nice one op would loed to see the look on her face when u were i the drivers seat

she managed before your dp worke there and im sure she'll manage again

Brilliant update - I knew you had it in you

Well done OP

Well done op! I used to work with someone like that. I generally avoided her as much as possible, but once we did have to travel together, and the trains were all cancelled due to awful weather.... dh drove for an hour to pick us both up and went out of his way to drop her off. She never said thank you. Several years later (and a year after I left that job!) he still chunters about her rudeness

I'll never understand people like that, I really won't. How hard is it to just say thank you?!

Defo, she's got the mega hots for the husband, silly woman

I'm disappointed OP.
I was hoping you'd be wrestling her on the bonnet.

IM SORRY CHIPPED
I told you not to wait about with the popcorn! 😂😂

I gues the next question is: Is DP having an affair? will she ask again?

Name This thread has made my weekend, absolutely brilliant. You don't have to be confrontational to be assertive...as you have now found out.

Well done for sorting the rude bitch out!!

Sorry OP but you need to get a pair of balls. Do not give her a lift. Make a list of excuses and use every single one 1. You are detouring to a friends on the way home, 2. You're sick and won't let anyone in the car 3. You're dropping off to go shopping. The list is endless and eventuallly she will get fed up of asking. Or you could be like me and tell her to fuck off. Sorry but she needs putting in her place don't stand for it! Good luck x

Well done Name, I was following live last night but got side tracked by the north korea thread. Good woman 🖐

Everyone else the OP sorted it.RTFT

there was no need to lower yourself to her level

I have to disagree Mademejoin. Being the "bigger person" is all well and fine but it doesn't get you far with people like that, and it also let's them off the hook scott-free - and why should they get off with their bad behaviour?

Perhaps Rude Cah will consider her appalling behaviour and amend it for any future lives she my cadge off other people.

You don't have to be confrontational to be assertive...as you have now found out

Absobloodylutely.

Derail klaxon

Before I met Mr Balls (aeons ago but we were middle aged even then!) he had a woman perform a service for him (don't be puerile...not that sort of service, I just don't want to define it lest it be outing). Anyway she was in the habit of letting herself into the house in a very proprietorial way. I mean she didn't exactly call out Ballsy I'm home but she might as well have done Fine before I came on the scene but it really got on my tits (yes I am that much of a cow).

I didn't want to get into a row about it so what I did was, whenever I saw hear her car on the drive I went to front door, flung it open and screeched "Lola (not her name obvs) how LOVELY to see you. Come on in. Let me pour you a glass of wine before you get started' I could not have been lovelier. She did not like it at ALL. She was gone within weeks (which meant I had to do what she had been doing, but it was worth it)

Anyway my point is you can get your own way while still being as charming as all get out. Namesame sounds like you're more than half way there!

S

Sorry to be so blunt op but you're far too nice, this woman is walking all over you and you're letting her, also why the hell is OH not saying something to her surely he knows how you feel

Go you!

Wonderful thread Name - I love a happy ending!

Please, though - let us know if she has the unmitigated gall check to ask fora life again, or if your DP reports her making any comments about your actions, even if they are couched as concerns about your health (e.g. "Oh - Name'sDP - I do hope Name isn't unwell! She was so arsey unlike her usual genial wet flannel self yesterday. She isn't clinically insane hormonal at the moment, is she?"

**Metal totally agree with you. She will have tried all this with everyone else in the office and they will have gotten wise to her.

Name your OH is not having an affair (imo) he is a nice person she is a rude bitch! My OH is a lovely mild mannered person and I can so see this sort of thing happening to us. Keep saying no she will soon stop asking and move on to the next new person in the office.

*cheek to ask for a lift, not check to ask fora life

Nasty bitch - seriously has an issue.
If you were on an equal footing I.e. Not your car / wasn't your husband driving / you each know him equally well then usually the person in the car for the longest sits up front in my view - never mind he's your husband.

Oops, just read your update ....well done you ....that's what I call a result

just found this thread! good for you! i hate ungrateful people taking advantage i would be mortified never saying thank you for lifts!

if she learned manners and actually acknowledged you then she could have had lifts, she can walk now

Personally I'd have liked it if you'd remained in the drivers seat, let your DH get in the passenger seat then nudged the car forward as she attempted to get in, repeated this nudging on 3 or four occasions then drove off with screeching tyres, giving her the finger as you accelerated away