Or is this woman in my car!

[NameSame]

Hello everyone.
Just curious as to wether I'm a hormonal grumpy little shit or if this cowbag is BU?
I pick OH up from work daily. (Not too far, would take about thirty to forty mins to walk, but unsociable hours, and grotty weather up north plus me liking to make sure he's home earlier rather than later so he doesn't wake us all up, I mean that it seems the easiest option!) anyway, he has a colleague who lives about half way home, but requires us to drive just shy of a mile round the back of our village iyswm. She has asked DP for lifts home a number of times, to which he replies "I've got to ask DP as I don't have a car at the moment and she's picking me up!" He then pootles out and asks if it is o.k to which I always reply yes as we are going almost past. (2-3 minute detour) absolutely fine.
But her attitude legitimately stinks this is where I think she's being U:

I have to park about five minutes away and I then walk up to dps work, where I wait. We then all walk down to the car. where this woman just barges past me doesn't say hello or even acknowledge me. Sits in the front seat of my car, (DP always drives as he actually enjoys it, and I do it out of necessity) leaving me in the 3rd row (VW transporter with car seats for DNs and goddaughter in middle!) AND DOESN'T SAY THANKS WHEN SHE LEAVES
She blatantly ignores me when I say Hi/bye personX, spends the whole time nattering to dp, who regularly tries to include me but he can barely get a word in tbh. And she knows it's my car, and my petrol etc.*

So I guess my AIBUs are:
Am I BU to feel grumpy?
Is she BU to ignore me?
Would I be U to give her one more chance and then tell DP to tell her to walk?

Cheers

Stop letting your DP drive. Let's see how keen she is to jump in the front with you. It will be very telling if she gets into the third row with your DP!

Brilliant idea.
If she cosys up with your DP in the back seat, leaving you sat on your own in the front, like a bloody taxi driver, then she clearly fancies your husband and you need to keep an eye on this relationship.

I would make sure I was outside the car doing something; Smile and greet her and ask her an open question like how are you today and if she blanks you again I would go out of my way to come up with excuses why u can't give her a lift so she gets the idea. Manners don't cost anything and I would be quite put out if I were treated like this

Yep she fancies your DH and you need to make it really clear to him that you won't be giving her anymore lifts and that he needs to slap her behaviour down hard

Supposing she did fancy your OH.
If they work together, all day, every day, then giving her a lift now and again, is the least of your problems.

I will next time. I just have to keep my cool and ensure I don't revert to my wet flannel self!! 😂

As for the relationship thing I'm pretty sure DP is devoted - although I think she's trying it on!

Oh brick! I know it's the least of my problems!!
I'm panicking now!

Had a similar situation with my ex - the barmaid at his local was always really rude to me and lovely to everyone else l just couldn't understand it. After we split up someone told me he had been knocking her off for years.....not sure how true it was even now l still don't know and l am not for one minute saying your hubby is doing that but this woman could have feelings for him which explains her hostility to you. She needs to get her own car.

How have you let her get away with this appalling rudeness? It's the sort of thing that has to be nipped in the bud immediately. Do it now!

ginger, I am so sorry about your XH. I'm pretty sure DP thinks he's struck gold with me, thankfully. although that doesn't stop me being an irrational worry bum about it

PS Why are you are in the 3rd row if your DH and this woman are in the front seats?

Don't take any notice of me Name. I am a bit of a pessimist sometimes and I often get things wrong.

I think your OH is like a lot of men (and women). Probably a little bit flattered by the female attention, combined with finding it difficult to say no to things, as proved by the lift situation.
Your way have of handling the situation has more than likely nipped any burgeoning 'friendship' in the bud.

dagenham I'm too lazy to move the car seats at 1 am! (Got a mix of ISO fix and belted for DSis. godchildren and DNs)

Name whether she had designs on your DP or not, she is just used to getting her way with bullying behaviour. I doubt very much your DP had any feelings for her, so let the thought go. It will be interesting to see if the bitch treats your DP any differently now.

Your DP sounds lovely, and just because he is non-confrontational doesn't mean he doesn't care about how you feel; quite the opposite, as he was very happy to hatch a plan with you to get shot of her. As he is fairly new into the company, he must have been in an awkward position.

Your DP's part in this is still very unclear.

I don't think this woman's behaviour is coming out of nowhere. Even if she fancies your DP, her brazen behaviour is niggling.

Unless she has a personality disorder, I think something is off. Do you know if she is a problem in her workplace? Has your DP mentioned anything about how she behaves at work? What does he think about her as a colleague?

Swap your single passenger seat for a 2 seater bench one and get in first leaving her the outside one.

Or get in second and squeeze her into the middle.

I can understand your dp liking driving it, I love ours.

Cp

YANBU! She sounds vile. No from now on

Jumped straight to the end, now have to go back to the middle pages of this juicy thread!

katie yes from what I gather she's a cowbag, and a massive PITA to work with. Have heard this from other colleague who we have driven home once or twice, (and who is so grateful and more than happy to walk from our house or the end of our street, and who gave me a bunch of daffs and a box of malteasers for doing so, even though she's really hard pushed for money as she looks after her grandchildren as her DD and partner are in the forces!)

And yes DP is amazing, and the sensitivity that comes from being a wet flannel is often useful when I'm upset! And we are definitely on the same team here.

misstic sorry if you missed it.
DP and I from large European catholic families, been brought up to give what we can spare, help those in need etc etc. this has made us both a pair of wet flannels/ pushovers.
Dp recently(ish) at a new job and this woman wants a lift.
I hate driving
DP drives
Woman gets in front passenger
I end up in the back row of our van
DP and I seethe when she leaves the car w/out saying thanks and ignoring me

jcsp I know, they're fab - and I'm in love with it on big roads, but hated driving in the area DP works even in my Aygo 😂😂 so I prefer him to drive it home as I've only really been passed a year, and we got the van about 16 weeks ago! X

Neither you nor your husband said anything the first time this woman did this

And when you did that you volunteered for what is happening now.

Fuck no! From the first time she showed that attitude her arse better find another lift! And why the hell is she sitting in the front?? No way! Lock that arrangement off. Plus can't your OH see this woman's attitude towards you? You don't owe this woman no lift!

She probably does fancy him hence her vexation of you being there

Good for sticking up for yourself. But I'm afraid to say it sounds like she has feelings for your DP. Although you've said he is devoted how much attention can a man really resist? Keep on Standing up for what's yours. No more lifts.

She is very rude. Why are you not driving if it is your car?

strygil and piwi yes we should've nipped it in the bud 😂

reebs I'm hoping he's going to resist all the attention and not have an affair... is that unreasonable?

cherish fairly new car, (it's actually a van really isn't it? VW transporter?) that I'm not used to, driving through the lanes at night. So I'd just prefer DP to drive it as he's a long standing member of the big car club! 😂 I did drive Saturday night though!!