Or is this woman in my car!

[NameSame]

Hello everyone.
Just curious as to wether I'm a hormonal grumpy little shit or if this cowbag is BU?
I pick OH up from work daily. (Not too far, would take about thirty to forty mins to walk, but unsociable hours, and grotty weather up north plus me liking to make sure he's home earlier rather than later so he doesn't wake us all up, I mean that it seems the easiest option!) anyway, he has a colleague who lives about half way home, but requires us to drive just shy of a mile round the back of our village iyswm. She has asked DP for lifts home a number of times, to which he replies "I've got to ask DP as I don't have a car at the moment and she's picking me up!" He then pootles out and asks if it is o.k to which I always reply yes as we are going almost past. (2-3 minute detour) absolutely fine.
But her attitude legitimately stinks this is where I think she's being U:

I have to park about five minutes away and I then walk up to dps work, where I wait. We then all walk down to the car. where this woman just barges past me doesn't say hello or even acknowledge me. Sits in the front seat of my car, (DP always drives as he actually enjoys it, and I do it out of necessity) leaving me in the 3rd row (VW transporter with car seats for DNs and goddaughter in middle!) AND DOESN'T SAY THANKS WHEN SHE LEAVES
She blatantly ignores me when I say Hi/bye personX, spends the whole time nattering to dp, who regularly tries to include me but he can barely get a word in tbh. And she knows it's my car, and my petrol etc.*

So I guess my AIBUs are:
Am I BU to feel grumpy?
Is she BU to ignore me?
Would I be U to give her one more chance and then tell DP to tell her to walk?

Cheers

well done you, as a reformed wet flannel I can assure you that it does get easier

Some people are so cheeky.
Well done to you.
You need to do a passive aggressive 'you're welcome' as she leaves the car next time. If she comments you can say 'oh sorry i thought you said thank you for the lift, but you didn't, my apologies!'

Well done!

Woke up early and read everything! Amazing response - reclaiming your right to your car!

Rude Cah can't be very bright.
Most people who are lucky enough to be given a regular lift home around midnight do everything to ensure that the liftgiver is happy to continue. Lots of pleases and thank yous and occasional bottles of wine.
Not ignore the liftgiver, flirt with her DH and never say thanks!

Good for you. What does your husband have to say about this strange behaviour?

She sounds like a piece of work OP.
Well done, you definitely made your point, whilst keeping your dignity.

Well done you. Hope she enjoys walking home whilst it's raining from now on.

Thanks all! DP feeling better about going to work this AM.
For those asking - I would say that she's in between Me and DP he's 34 and I'm 27 I'd say she was about 30

I just wonder if the next time it's hailing I'll be able to stop myself

I'm also hoping she's a lurker on mumsnet and she can see all of this! 😂😂

Go girl.

Is DH primed to say no to her next time she asks, then?

I lurve a happy ending!

Well done op! People need calling out on this sort of rudeness.

Well done OP.

I still have to say this woman staked or was trying to stake a claim on your DP (and with him being new at the office etc, maybe he hadn't fully explained he was with you etc) and with her being a similar age to all of you probably thought she was in with a chance.

I've been in a similar position years ago (I was 20) (not the car lift!) but when I had a good looking partner who girls would hit on a lot and in front of me and as I'm not confrontational I didn't know how to handle it! Well done on doing what you did.

Not being funny OP re your hailing comment but you've given her enough chances so far and she's had enough chances to be polite etc. if it were a one off rudeness I'd maybe let it slide but this chancer has taken the proverbial biscuit with you and your DP's generosity!

She'd walk in 20 inches of deep snow from now on if I had my way!

"She has asked DP for lifts home a number of times"
You mentioned he's fairly new in that job, how did she get home before he worked there?

I would have given a lift to the middle of nowhere and then thrown her out.

How did she react when you were already in the front seat?

Ha, well done OP!

What kind of weirdo sits in the front seat of someone else's car when it's not free? I'd probably have just opened the door and said 'sorry you're in the back' with a big smile.

And in case it's not clear, if a couple are in their own car, I don't consider the front seat 'free', if it's a bunch of friends I'll call shotgun within the bounds of our rules usually whomever gets dropped off last has the front seat so the car doesn't become a taxi.

Well done OP, it's a brilliant start to being rid of the ungrateful mare.

Itsallgingtobefine ....not just me then !! Yes first thing l thought was she's trying put herself in pole position with your DH. Sitting up front like she's wifey whilst real wife sits in the back. The hostility towards and marginalising of you is very telling too. Can't believe your DH doesn't give her the red card tbh treating his wife like that. He shouldn't even be asking you after the first time and tell her no himself.

Well done OP!!!!

Is DH on board with no more lifts?

Ok missed all this last night but have caught up. Phew. I'm a bit worried about your DP having to work with her and him having to deal with the constant pleas for a lift. Do you both have a plan OP?

I'm going to go against the grain here a bit OP. While she was really rude, I think your behaviour was also rude. Cutting her off when she spoke makes you as bad as her really.

I think it's reasonable not to give her another lift. If she'd behaved like that in my car she would not have been given a second lift but there was no need to lower yourself to her level. If you didn't want to confront her, you should just have made excuses.

where I can only assume she walked or got a cab?

We are all on board for stopping lifts

they I should've been clearer, I would call it less cutting her off and more not letting her cut me off iyswim. I was the one having a conversation with my DP and it was not her place to interject. Although yes I probably was a bit rude to her.