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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think my friend is a tight arse???

575 replies

FataliePorkman · 15/04/2017 18:20

Just been out for lunch with three friends and our DCs- the children all had the same (lunchboxes with a carton drink and then a small crispy cake) but us adults ate/drank varying amounts. Two of the friends are a couple and the other is single like me. Let's call her Joan.

3/4 of us shared a bottle and extra glass of wine and 2 soft drinks. Joan didn't drink as she lives further away from the pub than us so was driving.
We all had a starter and a main course and then we got a chessboard to share between us- but only me and the couple had some. Joan had 3 DC with her, I have 3 DC and the couple have 1 DC.

Anyway the bill came and friend from the couple suggested we split the bill 3 ways equally. I was fine with this, as were the couple. Joan refused and said she would only pay for what her and her DC had.

Awkward tension followed- Joan paid for her meal and her DC while me and my other two friends split the bill.

AIBU to think she is a bit tight??

OP posts:
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5
OkeyDokeyPigAndAPokey · 15/04/2017 19:59

I was totally mugged the first and last time I went out with my friend for her birthday dinner. She'd invited 4 other people I only knew vaguely. They all order ordered starters, mains, desserts and lots of alcohol. I ordered just a main as I was a) low on funds and b) dieting so chose the 800 calorie meal option. I had one lime and soda. Low and behold at the end of the meal the loudest person at the table announced we should all pay for the birthday girl's meal and drinks (no problem) and then that we should all split the bill as it was easier. I was gobsmacked but didn't want to be accused of being tight so went along with it, quietly seething and promising myself I would never go out with them again. My one pasta dish and lime & soda cost me £35. Everyone at that table was more than happy to mug me that night and even though I'm annoyed with myself for not saying something at the time, I do honestly think it says a lot more about them than it does me.

Jeaniusly · 15/04/2017 19:59

Would you stop this Team Joan shyte please. It is infantile.

Nocabbageinmyeye · 15/04/2017 19:59

Another Team Joan here

I hate couples who treat themselves as one

SomethingBorrowed · 15/04/2017 20:00

I think the logic of 3 ways comes from the fact that the couple only have 1 child whereas the 2 single adults have 3 each

This

honeyroar · 15/04/2017 20:01

IT makes no difference whether she said she wanted to pay her own bit before or after the bill came!!

"Shall we split the bill?"
"No thanks I will just get my own."

Why is it a problem?? Is it that people can't do maths? Even the most basic phone has a calculator. It shouldn't be remotely awkward.

I think some people that have money can be spectacularly ignorant of how other people may struggle financially. Ive a couple of friends that are well off and they chatter on about how they spend £500-1000 on a meal out, they don't mean to show off, it's just normal to them, and they don't seem to realise others can't!

donajimena · 15/04/2017 20:02

I don't eat out very often so when I do I usually go for a fillet steak. As its usually the most expensive thing on the menu I'll always say shall we just pay for our own as I'm going to be spending £££

angeldiver · 15/04/2017 20:02

I'm with Joan!
As a teetotaller, I too refuse to subsidise the wine drinkers.

RedDogsBeg · 15/04/2017 20:02

How is Joan tight? Joan paid for what her and her children consumed. Why the expectation that Joan should subsidise others?

I would imagine Joan was taken aback by her 'friends' when they suggested splitting the bill three ways as it totally stitched her up. Joan probably thought she was out with decent friends who would have come up with a fairer/more reasonable split therefore didn't expect to have to say anything prior to the meal.

PurpleDaisies · 15/04/2017 20:04

Would you stop this Team Joan shyte please. It is infantile.

Who made you the thread police?

#teamjoan

FourToTheFloor · 15/04/2017 20:05

Where's OP Wink

russetbella1000 · 15/04/2017 20:05

FFS,definitely team Joan.

Yes, it's always those who are wanting to appear so generous with the 'let's split it!',exactly because they're too tight to actually pay for their own meals!!

I was also cabin crew. Pilots would sometimes bring their wives along and not include them in the split number!! Unbelievable.

TheNewSchmoo · 15/04/2017 20:05

I'm team infantile.... Sorry, Team Joan

user1483387154 · 15/04/2017 20:05

YABU why should she pay extra for stuff she didnt consume?
I have been caught out like this and had deliberately chosen things to suit my budget. I got stung for another 10 quid which meant I couldnt pay one of my bills later.

Serialweightwatcher · 15/04/2017 20:05

The alcohol and cheese should have been written separately on the bill in any case, so you should have knocked that off, split the adult food 4 ways don't believe the couple would want it split 3 ways!! and kids food should have been split so that someone with 3 spent more than someone with 1 ... hate this splitting bills when the wine drinkers/dessert eaters etc come off very nicely and some poor sod with a lettuce leaf is fleeced Hmm

Serialweightwatcher · 15/04/2017 20:06

... and then split the alcohol/cheese 3 ways for your bills

RufusTheRenegadeReindeer · 15/04/2017 20:07

Ive said it before and i will say it again,..just to piss jean off

#team joan

Pencilvester · 15/04/2017 20:10

Team Joan

Fishbiscuits · 15/04/2017 20:10

Why should she need to announce beforehand that she only wanted to pay for what she had? The only scenario in which that would be a problem is if there were individuals who had ordered more than they could afford, and were expecting her to cover them. That would be completely unreasonable of them surely? if everyone could afford to pay the food and drink they ordered her paying just for her meal wouldn't be a problem.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 15/04/2017 20:10

"Would you stop this Team Joan shyte please. It is infantile."

Nope.

Team Joan!

Drgonzosattorney · 15/04/2017 20:12

Team Joan

NoCapes · 15/04/2017 20:12

#TeamJoan

#PayForYourOwnBrie

zippyswife · 15/04/2017 20:12

I have to be like Joan because I'm permanently skint. I'm sure to some I come across as a tight arse but I just can't afford nor do I want to pay for others cheese and wine when I've gone without because I'm on a budget.

JustCallMeKate · 15/04/2017 20:13

Would you stop this Team Joan shyte please. It is infantile

If you don't like it go and sit in the corner. Here, have some Gin and Cake to keep you company.

#TeamJoan

To think my friend is a tight arse???
passingcloud · 15/04/2017 20:14

It's spelled 'shite'.

Also - TEAM JOAN.

Aeroflotgirl · 15/04/2017 20:16

Joan is right, alcohol can be very expensive, why should she pay for what she diden't have. We only split the bill equally if we have had the same amount, those who have had alcohol pay extra.

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