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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not give DH a lie in?

346 replies

Aliveinwanderland · 15/04/2017 06:49

DS is 6 months old and wakes every 3 hours to be fed in the night. DH does a bottle at 9pm then I breastfeed all the other feeds.

On a week day DH is at work so takes DS downstairs for half an hour in a morning while he has his breakfast. He sometimes makes it home for bath and bed, sometimes not.

At a weekend he wants a lie in. I know he works hard but since he gets from 9pm -6am uninterrupted sleep I think he should let me have the lie ins! (By lie in I mean from 6am when DS wakes to around 8/9am).

AIBU to claim all the weekend lie ins myself?

OP posts:
Ecureuil · 17/04/2017 11:23

*feeding

Original poster
Aliveinwanderland · 17/04/2017 11:53

In 3 weeks time I return to work on a phased return. One day a week for 3 weeks, then 2 days a week for 3 weeks before I'm back properly doing 3 days a week.

DS wakes genuinely hungry most of the time. He takes a 6oz bottle at his first wake then wakes 3 hours later and feeds from both sides, ten minutes each. Last night he fed at 2am, woke at 5am but refused a feed so I put him in bed with us and he slept until 7:30. If he isn't hungry he doesn't feed.

OP posts:
doge · 17/04/2017 13:27

Co-sleeping IS sleeping in the same room as your baby. It's recommended to do it up until at least 1yo.

By who? NHS and lullaby trust say 6 months.

Sunshinegirl82 · 17/04/2017 14:08

I moved ds into his cot in his own room at 6.5 months. Of the 6 of us in my antenatal group I was the last to put their baby in their own room. I wouldn't say it's at all unusual for a 6 month old to be in their own room!

TheMummyDider · 17/04/2017 14:47

Well at an APUK speech I went to they recommended co-sleeping for at least a year and really until your child decides they are ready. The need for comfort is more important both for our two boys and us than a conventional nights sleep. I'll admit my DH could sleep through a meteor crashing into the house so it's not a problem to him what we do.

As I said I've spent 24 months of my life growing my children inside me and to be apart from them when it's unnecessary is upsetting. My two boys will stay with us in bed till we are all happy to have our own rooms.

Karanka · 17/04/2017 15:01

I wouldn't say it's at all unusual for a 6 month old to be in their own room!

I don't think that's unusual at all - ours were both in their own room by 18 weeks.

Ecureuil · 17/04/2017 15:02

As I said I've spent 24 months of my life growing my children inside me and to be apart from them when it's unnecessary is upsetting

Luckily my children are more than happy in their own room then isn't it. They're not upset at all

TheMummyDider · 17/04/2017 15:08

My children don't have their own room 😆

mrsclaus100 · 17/04/2017 15:09

Koala of of my sons also only wanted to sleep for 20 mins at a time but I worked incredibly hard on sleep training in the early days and am now reaping the rewards of a 2 hour lunchtime nap. I am merely suggesting to op that she perhaps considers some sleep training. also, god forbid me saying this but both my sons slept through the night from 11 weeks so multiple night feeds at 6 months seems very strange to me. If it was me I'd but the baby in its own room and see what happens. I'd also be tempted to move that 9pm feed to 10.30pm and see if that'll make him go longer through the night. I would defo be exploring other options if I was op. However I have to bite my tongue on here as so many of you get uber defensive about babies that don't sleep and mothers are sleep deprived and the partner has to deal with the consequences.

doge · 17/04/2017 15:38

Well at an APUK speech I went to they recommended co-sleeping for at least a year and really until your child decides they are ready

So attachment parenting recommends it..slightly different from what you were implying. Hmm

TheMummyDider · 17/04/2017 15:47

My midwife, dr and therapist suggested it too. My midwife said she recommends it to everyone and all her colleagues do too. They're part of the NHS so they're clearly not saying six months in north lancs

SomethingBorrowed · 17/04/2017 16:09

MummyDider
The NHS recommends sleeping in the same room as a baby until he is 6mo. They don't recommend sharing a bed.
Everybody is free to do what they want, but that is the official advice AFAIK.

Also re bed-sharing in order to get more sleep, whilst it is working in your case I see one major fault to the logic: as 6mo you might get some more sleep than you would if the baby was in its own cot, but when they are a bit older and would sleep through (what is the average? 9mo? 1yo?) then bed-sharing might mean less sleep for you than of you had the bed to yourself - and DP

MrsKoala · 17/04/2017 16:20

Claus i have also worked incredibly hard to sleep train my dd but sadly she isn't going along with it. We even had a sleep consultant when she was 2 weeks old (for all our dc). You can't make children sleep if they wont. She sleeps on the school run in the morning 40 mins. Then has another 20 mins after lunch and that's it. She then sleeps 8pm-6am and feeds every 2 hours during that time.

Crapuccino · 17/04/2017 16:23

"Sleep when baby sleeps"

HAHAHAHAHAAAHAAAAAAaaaaayeah... no. What a giant fucking bag of tripe. If one more person had said that to me with mine I think I would have ripped their face off. Or left the with him for a week and then come back to sweetly inquire how many daytime naps they'd had.

WankingMonkey · 17/04/2017 17:26

I advise splitting the lie ins.

My husband didn't work early on a morning so I was up for night feeds then got a few hours on a morning once DD was awake to sleep while DH sorted her.

It would be different if he had to be up every day for work. Though I understand the frustration that he gets 9 hours uninterrupted sleep a night. I never understood how men don't seem to even hear when babies wake up. DH always snored right through Hmm

WankingMonkey · 17/04/2017 17:27

I don't think that's unusual at all - ours were both in their own room by 18 weeks.

Both ours were in their own room by about 4 weeks. They woke with every noise in our room so it was better for everyone. Health visitor actually advised this and once they were away from us they slept sooo much better

Karanka · 17/04/2017 18:57

They woke with every noise in our room so it was better for everyone. Health visitor actually advised this and once they were away from us they slept sooo much better

We had one who didn't sleep much, but would sleep through a bomb going off when she was down, and another who would sleep for ages if undisturbed but woke if a mouse farted. Both were better in their own rooms as early as possible.

WankingMonkey · 17/04/2017 19:35

We had one who didn't sleep much, but would sleep through a bomb going off when she was down, and another who would sleep for ages if undisturbed but woke if a mouse farted. Both were better in their own rooms as early as possible.

It was so weird..they woke everytime we turned over in bed or coughed. Slept perfectly in their own room BUT we were once carrying a cabinet into our room and dropped it outside theirs...huge bang...still didn't wake up?! Kids are funny little things Grin[

FrizzyMcFrizzface · 17/04/2017 19:37

Am a bit confused at why a 6 mo is feeding every three hours through the night Confused, that's a pattern for a newborn, surely? All milk and food can be given between 6 am and 10pm ish, both of mine slept through from then (and from four months). I found that you just stuff them full during the day and then they sleep at night.

DC2 tube fed (expressed milk) and dietitian dictated amount of milk and number of feeds, night feeds dropped by 12 weeks. Sometimes I think this not sleeping thing and waking for feeds has to do with the 6 month weaning advice. Mine were weaned at four months (DC2 on medical instruction) and by 6 months were on full diet with meat, carbs etc. Surely that helps?

Not a stealth boast and not meaning to be an arse, just genuinely wondering why a baby of that age would still be feeding that often.

doge · 17/04/2017 19:40

Oh yeah great, stuff your baby full of meat and carbs OP Confused

gemgemgemgemgem · 17/04/2017 19:47

I asked my husband he says YANBU!

I agree - till baby sleeps for longer stretches then you split the lie ins

Crapuccino · 17/04/2017 19:48

Frizzy Mine was feeding through the night about that much at six months. I don't think we dropped the 3am feed until he was about eight or nine months. He was an excruciatingly slow weaner though, so milk was his primary calorie intake for pretty much his first year, and only at that point when he discovered life with actual food in it (after he tried chips, kill me now) did we manage to drop the midnight feed too.

Ecureuil · 17/04/2017 19:51

I found that you just stuff them full during the day and then they sleep at night

Someone else who thinks all babies are like theirs?

DD1 didn't take to solids until about 10 months. She certainly wasn't eating enough calories to sustain her overnight until about a year old. What do you do, force feed them?
DD2 took to solids like a duck to water. I stopped giving her milk in the night at about 8 months. She still woke 3 times a night until 15 months.

Original poster
Aliveinwanderland · 17/04/2017 19:53

Frizzy he has always woken that often. He doesn't feed much in the day time as he gets very distracted. I do feeds in a quiet space to limit this but he still isn't that bothered about food in the day time.

I don't mind the 3 hour waking, it's manageable, but I do appreciate the extra hour in bed in a morning if DH is around.

OP posts:
WankingMonkey · 17/04/2017 20:10

DD was all over solids fairly early on. DS just ate for a bit of a different taste I think and much preferred milk until he was about 14 months Confused

He sometimes wakes for a drink even now and he is nearly 3. Though we watered down the milk until he was having just water so its much easier to just leave a beaker of water by his bed, although he still wakes for us to give it to him...