Worried She is Having An Affair

[jamesk0001]

DW has lost a lot of weight over the last few months since the new year, going from 10 stone to 7 stone and is making a real effort to look better, going to the gym, wearing make up etc, buying new clothes.

Last night she went out with the girls and got home late. I was in bed and she thought I was asleep.

I noticed that when she got undressed she was wearing stockings and had totally shaved down there! She has never done that before and has not worn stockings since we got married 30 years ago!

In the morning she had already got up and dressed before I awoke. So I haven't officially seen the shaved area and am dying to bring it up but don't want to be told a lie!

Other changes are that she is always texting on her phone and has really gone off intimate times with me.

We are both in our 50s and this is burning me up!

Advice gratefully received!

[Mummyoflittledragon]

Ah yes, I misread as 5'7" and even when I retyped it I didn't spot my error. I only made the comment as I was very confused because we were talking about a 5ft woman. Paperdoll already pointed this out. There is no conspiracy to declare you underweight and I totally agree at your height you are a very nice weight.

[SpreadYourHappiness]

Mummyoflittledragon No worries Sorry if I was a little harsh.

[stevie69]

If I could put another angle on it .... I have lost 6 stones over the past few years and, at Christmas, upped my gym attendance to four times a week (from once a week—if I absolutely had to).

There was nothing suspicious about it: it didn't involve anyone else. Something clicked and I decided that I'd give it everything for the bodybuilder figure that I wanted (which is coming along very nicely).

What your wife and I have in common, OP, is our age. I have recently hit 50 and was quite 'meh' about it in the months leading up to the big day. I just decided it wasn't time for cocoa and slippers yet and went hell for leather at the gym. I love working out and I love the new figure.

Hopefully, it's just be something similar in your wife's case. Talk to her about it.

Wish you both well.

S xx

[stevie69]

Oh yes, forgot to add ..... I started shaving 'down there' when the ladies at the nail salon were discussing it and I realised that that's what most women did. Prior to that, it was completely unkempt . Again, nothing suspicious.

I guess I just decided to take better care of myself as I got a bit older.

S x

[Huskylover1]

This screams affair to me.

The only time I have ever worn stockings on a night out, is when I was having an affair. (And before anyone judges, this was after finding out that my ExH had had 10 other women). Same for the new shaving routine.

As for other observations....I have been 7 stone at 5 ft 2, and did not look too thin.

I have also lost 3 stone in 4 months. Kept to 1200 cals a day and walked 4 miles a day. The weight fell off. It is doable, if you are mentally in the zone.

[stevie69]

The stockings and shaving are suspect, but maybe this is her midlife thing, a bit "do it now or never" last grasp at sexy.

Quite. This is what I was trying to say in my messages. I guess that's what I'm doing but hey, I'm happy so WTF?

S x

[stevie69]

And I wear stockings too but I'm definitely not having any sort of affair with anybody.

[UppityHumpty]

Some of the posters here are being fuckwits on purpose.

OP she is likely to be having an affair, yes. It's known that people who have affairs do make drastic physical changes weight loss etc. And people doubting her being 7stone - my sister and all of my hundreds of cousins (all above 5 ft 6) maintain 6-7stone weights. Just because you can't doesn't mean OP is lying

[stevie69]

Blue top is full fat, green - semi skimmed red - skimmed.
No one has milkman anymore!

I have a milkman.

S xx

[Mummyoflittledragon]

Spread no worries. I wasn't trying to offend either.

[wherearemymarbles]

Somewhere in his post it mentioned their sex life had disappeared recently.
I dont think iv met a woman who found suspenders that comfortable and they are bit of a faf im sure so lots entailed in dressing up.

She may not yet have had sex yet but someone has surely turned her head or she is hoping someone will. I think you need to do some snooping first.

[Iwasjustabouttosaythat]

What utter nonsense. Woman wants to be healthy and look good so man decides she must be sleeping around. Wtf?

OP, maybe she doesn't want to sleep with you because you're unsupportive and mean. Why don't you try telling her how good she looks and talking to her about the very positive changes she's making by getting fit and (presumably) eating well. Maybe you can try it too. Just be carful she doesn't accuse you of having an affair if you look better. 🙄

[haveacupoftea]

She's lost 3 stone and her fanny hair has fallen out - may I suggest a trip to the GP

[velvetcandy]

haveacupoftea pissing myself

[Madwoman5]

Wow, a fifty year old woman making major changes.... listen, at fifty, she is about to enter the menopause, where everything starts going loopy. Her approach is to lose weight and start to look after her own needs for a change. Maybe she got pissed off with trimming and went bald because it is easier? She wondered what it would feel like? She finds it better in the gym? Maybe she wants to feel younger, go out more, have a life? You should talk. No seriously, you should talk. Have you made changes recently? Are you looking after health? Or are you doing what you always have and slipping into middle age, happy for things to stay the way they always have been? Stockings, well they make some ladies feel more feminine. Personally, I would rather wear a rotary washing line. Look at yourself and then talk to your wife about your life, where you are going, your aspirations, your desires and see if the two of you are walking the same road. Sounds like she is missing spontaneity and excitement.

[FairytalesAreBullshit]

Doesn't fanjo hair thin out when you're older?

[AnathemaPulsifer]

What's she been doing at the gym? Maybe swimming would account for the shaved bits, though not the stockings.

An hour at the gym twice a day and cycling everywhere does give more scope for being out of the house though... I'm sorry, I know it's horrible trying to figure this stuff out. Surely you'd be better to talk to her?

[HappenedForAReisling]

Maybe the shaved fanjo and stockings were for your benefit OP, but as you were 'asleep' when she got home....

[garmsfresh]

Just ask her why she shaved her jack and danny then report back ✌🏽

maybe it's because if you shower at the gym ( which I do ) every woman under 30 seems to have zero hair .

[SpreadYourHappiness]

emwithme And I'm calling bullshit on Slimming World, because if you actually put 5ft1 into a BMI calculator, you'd realise that anywhere from 6 stone 13 lbs to 9 stone 15 lbs is a perfectly healthy weight.

If I were 7st 8lbs, I would be fat.

[jamesk0001]

Well clearly I am paranoid!

DW is not having an affair (thank goodness). The weight loss and gym is because she felt at 50 that things were moving on with out her.

The bald bits, a couple of reasons, apparently "everyone" at the gym is bald. She put it off until she found some grey hairs!

The texts, which she showed me, were arranging to go to the salon with some friends to do the deed and to arrange an evening at a friends house after which was why she was late home.

With all the going to the gym she has been too tiered for anything else but promises that will change.

[garmsfresh]

I was right ✌🏽knew it be the pressure of the other gym locker

[foxyloxy78]

Good to hear!

[LiviaDrusillaAugusta]

On a slight tangent, who on earth notices other people's pubes (or lack of?)

Presumably it's possible to do your own thing without checking out other women's vulvas?