Skip to main content
Skip to main navigation
Skip to talk navigation

Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Unflip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Unflip

MNHQ have commented on this thread

1 2 3 4 5 6

MNHQ have commented on this thread

AIBU?

Worried She is Having An Affair

135 replies

jamesk0001 · 14/04/2017 18:59

DW has lost a lot of weight over the last few months since the new year, going from 10 stone to 7 stone and is making a real effort to look better, going to the gym, wearing make up etc, buying new clothes.

Last night she went out with the girls and got home late. I was in bed and she thought I was asleep.

I noticed that when she got undressed she was wearing stockings and had totally shaved down there! She has never done that before and has not worn stockings since we got married 30 years ago!

In the morning she had already got up and dressed before I awoke. So I haven't officially seen the shaved area and am dying to bring it up but don't want to be told a lie!

Other changes are that she is always texting on her phone and has really gone off intimate times with me.

We are both in our 50s and this is burning me up!

Advice gratefully received!

OP posts:

Report

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 18/04/2017 23:13

Read the whole thread....

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 18/04/2017 23:11

agree - if she's was shagging someone she would have a shower first . OP to be honest the texting would
Worry me - just talk to her

Say you don't want to put 2 and 2 together and make 3 . But there are way too many changes and you want to check with her ? Her reaction will start to give you and idea

Hope it's nothing OP

April229 · 18/04/2017 22:38

Yes, sorry only just read through the updates, jumped in a bit soon....was feeling bad for the comments OP was getting on page one.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 18/04/2017 22:33

April Read the full thread....

April229 · 18/04/2017 22:27

Sorry you're feeling concerned about this, I think you won't be able to do anything to set your mind at ease without actually talking to her.

Ask her why she is on the phone so much next time it's an issue, ask her to be honest. Maybe her new found weigh loss has inspired a second lease of life and she's looking to shake things up a bit, not necessarily with a new man. Maybe there's a new thing you could both do together so you could be part of the new stuff that's happening.

Ps you're right to be annoyed about the red top milk!

PollytheDolly · 18/04/2017 21:45

*
Actually she has been about 5ft 1 for about 35 or her 50 years. She started off at about 1 foot but I didn't know her then and she was very young.
*

Lol. Great comeback OP.

Glad all is well!

Shitalopram · 18/04/2017 20:33

Good news OP!

velvetcandy · 18/04/2017 19:29

Bring back the bush

LilQueenie · 18/04/2017 13:52

Sounds like me. I lost weight and suddenly found myself getting out more. No affair at all just happier in myself.

VladmirsPoutine · 18/04/2017 13:40

Well that escalated and de-escalated quickly!

Good luck OP!

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 18/04/2017 13:28

On a slight tangent, who on earth notices other people's pubes (or lack of?)

Presumably it's possible to do your own thing without checking out other women's vulvas?

foxyloxy78 · 18/04/2017 12:46

Good to hear!

garmsfresh · 18/04/2017 12:36

I was right ✌🏽knew it be the pressure of the other gym locker

jamesk0001 · 18/04/2017 12:32

Well clearly I am paranoid!

DW is not having an affair (thank goodness). The weight loss and gym is because she felt at 50 that things were moving on with out her.

The bald bits, a couple of reasons, apparently "everyone" at the gym is bald. She put it off until she found some grey hairs!

The texts, which she showed me, were arranging to go to the salon with some friends to do the deed and to arrange an evening at a friends house after which was why she was late home.

With all the going to the gym she has been too tiered for anything else but promises that will change.

OP posts:

SpreadYourHappiness · 16/04/2017 13:36

emwithme And I'm calling bullshit on Slimming World, because if you actually put 5ft1 into a BMI calculator, you'd realise that anywhere from 6 stone 13 lbs to 9 stone 15 lbs is a perfectly healthy weight.

If I were 7st 8lbs, I would be fat.

emwithme · 16/04/2017 13:18

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

garmsfresh · 16/04/2017 12:56

Just ask her why she shaved her jack and danny then report back ✌🏽

maybe it's because if you shower at the gym ( which I do ) every woman under 30 seems to have zero hair .

HappenedForAReisling · 16/04/2017 04:23

Maybe the shaved fanjo and stockings were for your benefit OP, but as you were 'asleep' when she got home....

AnathemaPulsifer · 16/04/2017 04:11

What's she been doing at the gym? Maybe swimming would account for the shaved bits, though not the stockings.

An hour at the gym twice a day and cycling everywhere does give more scope for being out of the house though... I'm sorry, I know it's horrible trying to figure this stuff out. Surely you'd be better to talk to her?

FairytalesAreBullshit · 16/04/2017 04:03

Doesn't fanjo hair thin out when you're older?

Madwoman5 · 16/04/2017 02:10

Wow, a fifty year old woman making major changes.... listen, at fifty, she is about to enter the menopause, where everything starts going loopy. Her approach is to lose weight and start to look after her own needs for a change. Maybe she got pissed off with trimming and went bald because it is easier? She wondered what it would feel like? She finds it better in the gym? Maybe she wants to feel younger, go out more, have a life? You should talk. No seriously, you should talk. Have you made changes recently? Are you looking after health? Or are you doing what you always have and slipping into middle age, happy for things to stay the way they always have been? Stockings, well they make some ladies feel more feminine. Personally, I would rather wear a rotary washing line. Look at yourself and then talk to your wife about your life, where you are going, your aspirations, your desires and see if the two of you are walking the same road. Sounds like she is missing spontaneity and excitement.

velvetcandy · 16/04/2017 00:27

haveacupoftea pissing myself

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Email address

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

haveacupoftea · 15/04/2017 18:21

She's lost 3 stone and her fanny hair has fallen out - may I suggest a trip to the GP

Iwasjustabouttosaythat · 15/04/2017 18:13

What utter nonsense. Woman wants to be healthy and look good so man decides she must be sleeping around. Wtf?

OP, maybe she doesn't want to sleep with you because you're unsupportive and mean. Why don't you try telling her how good she looks and talking to her about the very positive changes she's making by getting fit and (presumably) eating well. Maybe you can try it too. Just be carful she doesn't accuse you of having an affair if you look better. 🙄

wherearemymarbles · 15/04/2017 18:03

Somewhere in his post it mentioned their sex life had disappeared recently.
I dont think iv met a woman who found suspenders that comfortable and they are bit of a faf im sure so lots entailed in dressing up.

She may not yet have had sex yet but someone has surely turned her head or she is hoping someone will. I think you need to do some snooping first.

Unflip

1 2 3 4 5 6

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.