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AIBU?

Worried She is Having An Affair

135 replies

jamesk0001 · 14/04/2017 18:59

DW has lost a lot of weight over the last few months since the new year, going from 10 stone to 7 stone and is making a real effort to look better, going to the gym, wearing make up etc, buying new clothes.

Last night she went out with the girls and got home late. I was in bed and she thought I was asleep.

I noticed that when she got undressed she was wearing stockings and had totally shaved down there! She has never done that before and has not worn stockings since we got married 30 years ago!

In the morning she had already got up and dressed before I awoke. So I haven't officially seen the shaved area and am dying to bring it up but don't want to be told a lie!

Other changes are that she is always texting on her phone and has really gone off intimate times with me.

We are both in our 50s and this is burning me up!

Advice gratefully received!

OP posts:

Report

metalmum15 · 14/04/2017 20:30

With all that counting calories, gym going and cycling, where would she find time for an affair? She must be exhausted.

jamesk0001 · 14/04/2017 20:32

Mrsknackered she is 5ft 1inch

OP posts:

user1489261248 · 14/04/2017 20:43

How convenient that she just happens to be 5 ft 1 inch tall after we have all said 7 stone is too light a weight for most people.

jamesk0001 · 14/04/2017 20:53

user1489261248. She turned the bedside lamp was on.

What is this, the Spanish Inquisition?

I was using terms like that because I don't like sounding vulgar, I never have said fancy a fk or sx. Just not me, sorry.

OP posts:

jamesk0001 · 14/04/2017 21:01

user1489261248

Actually she has been about 5ft 1 for about 35 or her 50 years. She started off at about 1 foot but I didn't know her then and she was very young.

When she was 10 she was about 4 ft and she put on a burst and got to about 5ft 1 when we met at 18 and she was about 7st then.

She was 6st when we got married. TBH it was too thin and she starved herself to get to that weight for stupid women's sense of fashion and it didn't do her any good.

Her weight has always been up and down but not so low as 7st for a long time.

But hey, came here for a bit of advice / reassurance. All I got was abuse. Thanks!!!

OP posts:

FingerLickinSpringChickin · 14/04/2017 21:05

Have you tried talking to her? She doesn't sound well.

She may well be having an affair, but if she is it sounds as though that's the tip of the iceberg.

HomityBabbityPie · 14/04/2017 21:05

Why can't you just ask her?

Pumperthepumper · 14/04/2017 21:06

Why did you pretend to be asleep when she came in?

dementedma · 14/04/2017 21:07

Slightly off tangent by why are people saying no one wears stockings? I often wear hold ups as i prefer them to tights when I'm wearing a skirt.

gamerchick · 14/04/2017 21:08

If you're for real then no it doesn't sound good OP. The usual advice is to get a hold of the phone and have a look through it. Either way you won't be able to ignore it now the idea is in your head.

MrsDustyBusty · 14/04/2017 21:09

I'm 5'1" and it would take me far longer than 3.5 months to lose three stone. It all seems a bit improbable.

robinia · 14/04/2017 21:11

I always wear hold-ups if tights/stockings are required so I'm not sure why pp think it's so impossible.
Weight loss/exercise could just be a sign of wanting to get out of a rut.
Shaving - well maybe she's been reading mumsnet or talking to her gfs and wanted to try it.
Do you have any signs that she's not doig what she says she's doing?

Pumperthepumper · 14/04/2017 21:11

If she was having an affair, would she not get undressed in the bathroom so you definitely wouldn't see the stockings and bald fanny?

birdbandit · 14/04/2017 21:17

Oh, I have seen people with loose that much weight that quickly. A woman at my kids school shocked me by telling me she had hit her target of 7.5 stone, and she is about the same height.

Could be that she is ultra disciplined or an ED.

The stockings and shaving are suspect, but maybe this is her midlife thing, a bit "do it now or never" last grasp at sexy.

birdbandit · 14/04/2017 21:19

She might have seen all the shaven fanjo's at the gym and thought that's what is done now by the younger women.

Pigface1 · 14/04/2017 21:19

She lost a lot of weight very quickly didn't she? That's about 4lb a week.

You also have a very impressive knowledge of her weight and height history.

birdbandit · 14/04/2017 21:20

If I were having an affair (ha ha never!) I certainly wouldn't broadcast it to my OH by doing something as obvious as shaving my bits. Might as well take out an add in the paper.

AngelThursday · 14/04/2017 21:25

I'm sorry people are giving you unpleasant answers OP. That's uncalled for and hurtful imo.
It's also sexiest against men. You've asked for advice and should be shown the same respect that female posters are shown.
Sadly OP it does sound a bit suspect. I think you should confront her unless you'd rather not know the truth.
Hope you work things out

BellyDancer124 · 14/04/2017 21:29

Nobody under the age of 400 wears stockings on a night out any more. YABU being married to a 400 year old.

Omg I laughed so hard at that

Mrsknackered · 14/04/2017 21:30

Sorry OP, your original post did come across as a bit of a wind up.
It does seem a little fishy and I would ask questions if it were my partner but I don't think you should jump to the conclusion of an affair.

Ethylred · 14/04/2017 21:32

Recently I saw a 60-plus friend, let us call her Tallulah, looking absolutely stunning.

"Fucking hell Tallulah have you got a new boyfriend?"

This was at DF's funeral so my behaviour might have been inappropriate.

jamesk0001 · 14/04/2017 21:32

Pumperthepumper because she woke me up when she came in the room and by the time I was awake I didn't want her to think I was ogling her (I was, but I didn't want her to think that).

HomityBabbityPie because I don't want to get either a lie or the truth, if she is having an affair. They will both hurt.

birdbandit she is ultra strict. Refuses any offer of chocolate, cake, wine etc.

Pigface1 didn't know her when she was 10, but have seen family photos and added that as a sarcastic comment in reply to a previous poster. I did know her weight when we met. I was 10st she was 7 and a bit. She has dieted in the past so I always got bulletins.

OP posts:

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Elledouble · 14/04/2017 21:33

Burning you up?

Try some sudocrem. You could offer some to your missus for her itchy regrowth too.

Neverknowing · 14/04/2017 21:41

Maybe she just noticed she didn't look as good as she wanted to. Also I always shave down there before a night out just because I like the way it feels and it's part of my going out routine.
Maybe she doesn't think you think you think she's attractive and she's worried? I think you need to speak to her op! I'm sorry you're going through this

Neverknowing · 14/04/2017 21:42

It's also very addictive once you start losing weight so that may be why she's so strict and exercising a lot.

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