To be fuming at this restaurant?

[Ginge85]

I recently went to a restaurant with my best friend and DS who is 14 months old for lunch. We'd never been before. When I asked for a highchair for DS they promptly brought us one and I'd never ever thought this restaurant would be not a child friendly place.
My friend and I ordered drinks and our food and shortly afterwards I started to feed DS a smallish pot of pasta I'd made and brought with us. There was nothing really on the menu I would've ordered for him, and anything I could've done he would've barely eaten any and would've been a waste of money. I was then therefore extremely baffled and shocked when the waitor came over and awkwardly told us that any food that wasn't bought in the restaurant couldn't be consumed there . He was talking about DS's pasta. I could understand if we as adults had brought our own food and we're eating it but for a baby?! Our bill would've come to around £35 with what we'd ordered also. He was very persistent with this and in the end we walked out before our food had come (we didn't pay for our drinks- but hadn't drank from that as yet). I'm baffled and fuming! Any other time I've been out for lunch every other restaurant has never ever said anything, and have been more than happy to get me a bowl of hot water to warm it up if needed. AIBU?

The restaurant were being unreasonable telling you not to bring food for a 14 month old. It's not as though your 14 month old would have even eaten 1/4 of a child's meal had you ordered one.

They may have made a mess and quite a lot of noise though as well as using a high chair. The restaurant are within their rights to not want to provide facilities to someone who isn't eating.

But most child-friendly restaurants actively encourage people to bring children by providing high chairs etc. And none of the ones I've been in have said anything about me bringing food for DD. Like I said, I always take a packed lunch for 16mo DD as she isn't big enough yet for a children's menu.

Occasionally I've been somewhere where they provide baby and toddler food - e.g. Waitrose, Debenhams cafes and I then have bought that as they're providing suitable food. But most cafes and restaurants don't and children's menus are aimed at up to 12 years so are enormous portions so totally unsuitable for a small toddler.

But isn't the definition of a "child friendly" restaurant that they cater for children?

I do think that, if a restaurant doesn't want to allow customers to bring in their own food for little children, they need to make sure they provide a decent selection of food that is suitable for little ones.

I absolutely agree with the previous posters who have complained about the ubiquitous fish fingers/chicken nuggets/burger and chips offerings that make up far too many children's menus. It does help,to have two small children to feed rather than one - we used to order one main course between two though that did sometimes necessitate a certain amount of shuttle diplomacy, when they both wanted different things!

It ought not to be impossible for a half-way decent chef to offer some things that would be suitable for small children (lower salt, not too spicy etc) but still tasty and interesting, in smaller, affordable portions.

I was also brought up not to put people out, so it has simply never occurred to me to order something not on the menu, as some people are suggesting asking for different things to be brought out. Far more straightforward to bring something child friendly from home, order food for adult(s), and then clear up any mess before leaving. I've got one of those silicone mats so don't need to use any of the restaurant's crockery/cutlery for my child. Also has the advantage of not having to wait ages for the food to appear as toddler can start straight away.

YANBU- baby food doesn't count! No one has ever done this to me with my 14m old.

you're going to come across this "issue" in a lot of other places.
Never, not once, did I ever have an "issue" doing this. I was always buying food for the adults and I would buy something for my kids if I could, but there was never so much as a raised eyebrow if I got something else out for one of my toddlers.

But isn't the definition of a "child friendly" restaurant that they cater for children?

Exactly. Why would a restaurant want to be "friendly" and provide high chairs for children who aren't eating their food? Anyone would think that they were some kind of public service and that people had no choice about whether they eat in them.
Menus are displayed outside restaurants and usually on the internet. People can see what they offer and if there isn't suitable for their child they should either go elsewhere or they should ask if their child can eat their own food from home.

I do think that, if a restaurant doesn't want to allow customers to bring in their own food for little children, they need to make sure they provide a decent selection of food that is suitable for little ones.

Why should a restaurant cater for little children if they don't want to? It's not compulsory to provide food for little children to eat or let them eat their own food.

I should have said that, if they want to market themselves as child friendly, but don't want people bringing in their own food for their toddlers, then they should provide suitable food on their menu, @Roomster101.

Sorry - holding fail.

In what way do restaurants "market themselves as child friendly" though? If they allow children, have high chairs and a children's menu, I would assume that is because they want children to eat from their food just as they would like adults to eat their food. To me, it doesn't suggest they want children to come in, use the highchairs and have a picnic.

I absolutely agree, @Roomster - my point was that, if you are going to provide a menu for the children, it doesn't take much thought or effort to make it more interesting and nicer than the nuggets/fish fingers/burger and chips menus that so many think is enough to offer.

I always thought child-friendly restaurants were trying to attract families to the restaurant - massive demographic prepared to spend money who will be loyal if they find it an easy experience - high chairs, baby change etc. The children's menu is for children (portion size) and rarely has baby or toddler food on it. They're trying to make it easy for families to eat there, thus winning their loyalty for the years ahead. After all, the chain cafes have high chairs, baby changes and free babychinos but I've never seen any food in there that I could actually feed DD until she's at the stage of managing an entire panini.

I'd like to see more 'child unfriendly' places. There was a thread on here some time ago about a restaurant that barred children after lunch and the support was overwhelming.

I absolutely agree, @Roomster - my point was that, if you are going to provide a menu for the children, it doesn't take much thought or effort to make it more interesting and nicer than the nuggets/fish fingers/burger and chips menus that so many think is enough to offer.

But if the children's menu doesn't serve anything that the child likes then people can choose not to go there. As an adult, if a restaurant didn't serve food I liked I wouldn't go there and eat my own food and I don't think it is reasonable for people to do that with small children (unless the restaurant has said it is okay, obviously).

I've never had this be a problem. DS is nearly four and goes through picky weeks all the time, and I've wasted so much money on food in restaurants that I thought he'd eat and then he wouldn't. I share mine if I can, but if he's going through a phase like before Christmas when he'd only eat bagels and avocado it's difficult. This week it's been cheese sandwiches (easy!) with corn on the cob (not so easy!).

He won't eat most of the traditional kids menu stuff either, which is something of a relief really as its generally not exactly healthy choices.

Where are all these places with baby and toddler friendly food? I have never seen a suitable baby menu. I went somewhere that did Ella's pouches (free) but have never seen a child's menu that wasn't loaded with salt. Yes they can chew on a bit of bread or eat some veg from a side order but thats not a meal.

@newmumwithquestions
Waitrose and Debenhams cafes have baby and toddler food. They have the pouches (you have to pay for them) and Waitrose has the Little Dish toddler meals. Can't remember if Debenhams had those too as I used there more when DD was a baby. Debenhams also has facilities for warming up food yourself for your child. Also been impressed with the baby change in the Debenhams I've been in and the staff have always been helpful in both about carrying trays for parents with pushchairs.

There's a child friendly cafe in a church that I use sometimes (not very local to me) and I don't take food for DD there as they provide suitable baby/toddler food - pouches, salt-free/low or no sugar snacks, little sandwiches for 50p, suitable yogurts, fruit. Plus loads of high chairs and a little play area.

But genuinely child friendly places like that are few and far between.

Pret is ok as you can buy fruit there for a child, but the children's sandwiches are a big portion (too big for a toddler) and on wholemeal bread.

Welp, Daisies, you've just sold Debenhams to me as no one else ever has. I shall take the little monster out there for grub from now on. Thank god there's at least one option for parents trying to have a decent meal with a fussy/squirmy toddler.

@ForTheSakeOfFuck hope you like it! I only found the Debenhams restaurant by accident as I hardly ever go in there but the restaurants always seem to be right at the top of the building and generous space wise. Have been in three of them and all similar standard. I'd now look out for them if shopping somewhere new as one of the better child-friendly places I've found.

Daisies - my kids only ever ate wholemeal bread ...?

Waitrose and Debenhams cafes have baby and toddler food.... Waitrose has the Little Dish toddler meals.

child friendly cafe in a church.... provide suitable baby/toddler food - pouches, salt-free/low or no sugar snacks, little sandwiches for 50p, suitable yogurts, fruit

See I'd happily pay for those but really havent found anywhere that does that type of thing. Last time I went to a cafe without food I ordered a sandwich between my 2 (and I appreciate it's easier to do that with 2 not 1). It was huge thick slices of bread which they had to pull apart to get in their mouths, it had come with crisps but I'd asked for them to put something else on the plate instead but allegedly they had 'nothing suitable' (??? I let it go as I didn't want to make a scene) It was £7 and between them they ate half of it. A waste of food and money. Plus it's not what I'd call a meal - no veg/fruit. This was a cafe with highchairs so trying to be young children friendly but I think they didn't want the extra work to try to do baby/toddler friendly food, but were happy for you to bring your own.

I will keep taking my own unless I find one of the few places where they cater for toddlers (no debenhams and our waitrose has no cafe).