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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be fuming at this restaurant?

778 replies

Ginge85 · 12/04/2017 15:40

I recently went to a restaurant with my best friend and DS who is 14 months old for lunch. We'd never been before. When I asked for a highchair for DS they promptly brought us one and I'd never ever thought this restaurant would be not a child friendly place.
My friend and I ordered drinks and our food and shortly afterwards I started to feed DS a smallish pot of pasta I'd made and brought with us. There was nothing really on the menu I would've ordered for him, and anything I could've done he would've barely eaten any and would've been a waste of money. I was then therefore extremely baffled and shocked when the waitor came over and awkwardly told us that any food that wasn't bought in the restaurant couldn't be consumed there Confused. He was talking about DS's pasta. I could understand if we as adults had brought our own food and we're eating it but for a baby?! Our bill would've come to around £35 with what we'd ordered also. He was very persistent with this and in the end we walked out before our food had come (we didn't pay for our drinks- but hadn't drank from that as yet). I'm baffled and fuming! Any other time I've been out for lunch every other restaurant has never ever said anything, and have been more than happy to get me a bowl of hot water to warm it up if needed. AIBU?

OP posts:
EatDessertFirst · 12/04/2017 15:53

Its gonna be one of THOSE.....

OP: AIBU??
MN: Yes
OP: No I'm not and you are all mean.

wonkylegs · 12/04/2017 15:54

Um YABU - it's perfectly normal for restaurants to say this, some are fine with it others are not. They don't have to serve anybody.
I don't understand why you would go to a restaurant that had nothing that you could feed your child, surely you'd look at the menu and say not this time and find somewhere else. YABVU to not pay for your drinks!
I don't order anything for my 1yo he just has a bit of something from everyone else's plates. I'm yet to find a restaurant that didn't have anything that was suitable or who had a problem with this. We've been out today and had a fab (ok a little messy) lunch with the kids.

ChardonnayKnickertonSmythe · 12/04/2017 15:54

I think baby puree should be OK to bring, anything else not.

You were rude walking out like this though.

LucyFuckingPevensie · 12/04/2017 15:54

Actually I think it's fine to take a bit of food for a young toddler / baby.
I would have given them bits off my plate at the time too, but I don't see anything wrong with taking a small pot of food with you to give to a really young child.

Venusflytwat · 12/04/2017 15:54

Well I think it was a bit shit of them considering you were both eating and drinking with them. They lost £35 of custom for the sake of a £3 kids meal. Dumb.

hellsbellsmelons · 12/04/2017 15:54

Blimey - I'm surprised by these responses.
When out and about with my friend - she often feeds her DS home made food she has brought with her.
No-one has even questioned it and we eat out quite a lot.
14 months is not that old.
3 year old!? Then yes order something from the menu.
I've worked in pubs a lot and never stopped anyone doing this.

You let your feet do the talking - it's a well done from me!

Barbie222 · 12/04/2017 15:54

I've done this lots, but I'm fully aware that it's cheeky and I'd put pasta away and order something off the menu if I was challenged. I did hear of someone in a similar situation who lied that her dd needed gluten free and just brazened it out - I don't have the balls for that!!

Kiroro · 12/04/2017 15:54

It isn't ok...

Original poster
Ginge85 · 12/04/2017 15:55

Haha eatdessert no it's not. If you all think AIBU then fair enough! I'm just shocked as I say it's never ever something that has been a problem before. It was a cafe type restaurant. And I didn't refuse to pay for the drinks. He pretty much told us to get out and had only just put them down. So we went without even thinking about them as we're in shock

OP posts:
HermioneJeanGranger · 12/04/2017 15:55

At 14 months, surely there's no need to bring food for him? YABU, and even more so for walking out without paying!

LucyFuckingPevensie · 12/04/2017 15:55

I would have told them I was leaving though, I wouldn't have just walked out.

Floggingmolly · 12/04/2017 15:56

You sound like every restaurant's nightmare. And storming out having refused to pay for your drinks was pretty low rent.

harderandharder2breathe · 12/04/2017 15:56

YABU

if it was baby food purée then that's different

If it's real food that you could've ordered there then that's not ok.

Can't believe you're surprised that this is not ok.

Original poster
Ginge85 · 12/04/2017 15:57

He knew we were leaving he were stood there as we went. He pretty much told us to go when I mentioned that I'd never encountered this problem before.

OP posts:
IvyLeagueUnderTheSea · 12/04/2017 15:57

You were being very unreasonable.
Why take a small child to a place that you said yourself was not child friendly?
Why not just stop feeding him the pasta when asked?
Why walk out without paying? Whether you had drunk the drink or not is immaterial, they can't resell it so the value is lost.

Original poster
Ginge85 · 12/04/2017 15:57

*he was

OP posts:
UnicornMadeOfPinkGlitter · 12/04/2017 15:57

At ds age I would have ordered something for myself that ds could eat some of. So mash and veg or pasta and then maybe a side just so plenty of food to share.

My reaction would have depended on how they said that we couldn't feed ds home prepared food. If they were polite and apologetic then I would have just put my food away and fed ds from my plate. Even a few chips at that age just to keep him going would be fine. And perhaps asked to add a side to the order so that we had enough food.

If they were rude then I would have told them to cancel the order and leave.

Lules · 12/04/2017 15:58

I don't do this because mine is quite happy to eat a lot of things but I see people do this all the time and I've never seen them challenged on it.

BoyFromTheBigBadCity · 12/04/2017 15:58

I think the thing is child friendly doesn't mean it's ok. I worked in a cafe that was child friendly, high chairs, couple toys. But parents were bringing their kids sandwiches or full meals - we sold sandwiches, chips, salad, soup, cakes, and other bits. They'd buy one drink each and stay for ages so other people couldn't get in. That cafe has now shut (there are other reasons involved, obv).

Floggingmolly · 12/04/2017 15:59

You "mentioned" that you'd never encountered this problem before Grin. Why would that be relevant? It only demonstrates that you're a regular chancer.

mtpaektu · 12/04/2017 15:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lisaIambe · 12/04/2017 16:00

OP, you have been insanely lucky if nothing has been said up until now. This is absolutely standard procedure in catering- unless it's Starbucks or something along those lines. You could at least have paid for your drinks, the food they can give to someone else but the drinks are wasted. You either order your baby a meal, give your baby some of yours or you feed them after. You are being pathetically PFB.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 12/04/2017 16:00

He pretty much told us to get out what like? "get outta my Cafe" or " "I'm terribly sorry but can you put away your baby's pasta otherwise we can't serve you"

Original poster
Ginge85 · 12/04/2017 16:02

it was more awkward the well he said it initially, but when I said "really? I've never had a problem with this before?" He got shirty and was extremely rude before pretty much telling us to leave. I didn't refuse to pay for my drinks or 'storm out' without telling them. We left because we felt we were not welcome and he watched us do so. I used to work in an expensive bar as a student were people would walk out leaving £600 bar tabs- and the manager would take it out of our tips and wages until it was paid. So I'd never deliberately not pay for anything, I was just in such shock that we were pretty much being asked to leave over a small pot of pasta Confused

OP posts:
Original poster
Ginge85 · 12/04/2017 16:03

floggingmolly because I was genuinely unaware it would be a problem for a baby.

OP posts: