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AIBU?

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Original poster

Children watching Peppa Pig on phones in restaurant

740 replies

SilverLeafClover · 12/04/2017 11:01

We went for lunch with friends yesterday at the Fifteen restaurant near Newquay. I only mention the place because it has an amazing view of the beach and the sea, which made it all the more surprising that as soon as we sat down, my friend and her husband handed their children (both NT, aged 4 and 6) two phones. For the duration of the meal, the children sat zombie-like and watched Peppa Pig on the screens.

I will admit, I judged.

The parents did not speak to their children and the children were just glued to the screens. My three children aged 8, 5, 3 are not angels but managed to sit through a short meal (main course and then ice cream, no staters, no coffees) without needing screens. I talked to my adult friends and kept an eye on my children, pointing out stuff that was happening outside, large boats passing by, surfers, dogs etc.

Am I am a Luddite? Or am I right to think unlimited access to screens during a meal out is not right?

OP posts:
Edsheeranalbumparty · 12/04/2017 13:49

Aaaaaaand we have had the OP called a 'cunt'.

I don't care what they say, Mumsnet has still got it!

brasty · 12/04/2017 13:51

I don't know a single child who thinks that going to a restaurant is a treat. I hated it when I was younger, you had to sit quietly, eat properly and wait for the bloody thing to be over.
I do. But then sitting at the table and eating properly is expected in my wider family for children at home too.

Raaaaaah · 12/04/2017 13:53

OP we were in a restaurant very close to you yesterday and our DCs were being absolute brats. I think you would have preferred a bit of peppa than the commotion they were causing. And no they weren't wowed by the view. I spent the entire meal being mortified whilst DP got angrier and angrier at their behaviour. It was not fun for anyone in the vicinity.
Have a good hols.

muttrat · 12/04/2017 13:53

It was definitely a treat for mine from about 6 onwards. They really looked forward to it! We didn't do it often though.

treaclesoda · 12/04/2017 13:54

We sit at the table and eat properly in my house too. But my younger child still hates going to restaurants.

TypicallyEnglishMustard · 12/04/2017 13:57

I am a little freaked out by kids staring at a cartoon on a phone but with no sound on (not that I'd want the sound on, as a fellow diner). My nephews (6 and 8) consistently do this when handed the screens whilst out and about. Absolutely glued to a cartoon, but with no sound or subtitles on for a plot. It's weird! How do they find it fun or interesting?!

Shouldn't we worry that we may be raising a generation of zombie children possessed by technology?! My theory is government conspiracy on an international level.

Either way, it creeps me out to see it.

PsammeadPaintedTheLion · 12/04/2017 13:58

Op, YANBU. Children need to learn how adults behave so that they can one day be successful adults. They won't do that by watching Peppa Pig.

GwenStaceyRocks · 12/04/2017 13:59

Raah Flowers and Gin for you and DH. We've all been there except for the perfect parents

HookandSwan · 12/04/2017 14:01

Totally agree, I used I nanny in Kensington and take my charge to a private kids club with a restaurant etc. And at every table the children were all glued to iPads.

brasty · 12/04/2017 14:05

So HookandSwan , maybe that is the issue here? MN seems full of well off mothers, while I am common as muck.

abcBears · 12/04/2017 14:05

But then sitting at the table and eating properly is expected in my wider family for children at home too.

Hmm which is why it's hardly a treat

How else is anyone eating other than sitting at a table anyway?

brasty · 12/04/2017 14:08

It is a treat because they get to choose the food they want. And it is better food than normal.
Why is it a treat for adults to eat out?

Birdsgottaf1y · 12/04/2017 14:10

"Those people who think screens are fine, at what age do people think children should stop using them in restaurants? 10? Teens? Adults? If children are brought up thinking it's the norm then they'll always want to use them. ""

That's from the same crappy school of thought that tells us to not have our baby's in the bed/carry them, because we're 'making a rod for our own back'.

We get Judgy looks when we give my two year old GC a phone occasionally, so she'll sit on her pram and let us shop. It's a very small snapshot of our day and how she is being bought up, though.

My two DD had Nintendo DSes, it hasn't adversely affected them or their communication skills.

I find listening to the background noise of children's TV less annoying that a lot of Adults prattle.

Booboo66 · 12/04/2017 14:10

My DC 4 & 7 absolutely love going out to ea and have from very young, perhaps influenced a little by me as I love it too (no cooking and dishes). It's a massive treat to them even though we do it fairly frequently. They are both adventurous eaters and very happy to sit at a table throughout in anywhere from McDonald's to nandos, a pub meal to Harvey Nichols. You can't assume just because you or your child doesn't like to dine out that they all don't.

redandwhite1 · 12/04/2017 14:10

Our son doesn't sit still and is hard work in a restaurant however the phone is a last resort not an expected

I'd never take him or agree to meet in a place like that if I'm honest, he's not naughty but I can imagine it's far too quiet that people would be annoyed by his constant questions and singing!!

livefornaps · 12/04/2017 14:10

We always thought it was a treat but then we were always little pigs ourselves.

Op your post is so identifying; you even mention the food you ate...!

Birdsgottaf1y · 12/04/2017 14:12

""How else is anyone eating other than sitting at a table anyway?""

Most of the children around my way never sit at a table to eat, accept at school.

""Why is it a treat for adults to eat out?""

Because they haven't had to shop and cook it.

Booboo66 · 12/04/2017 14:13

livefornaps I suspect mine are the same.. Every meal time is a treat for them as they love food.. And restaurant chefs are better cooks than me so definitely a treat! Grin

TheFairyCaravan · 12/04/2017 14:14

We went out with our adult kids on Monday night. On the table next to us was a family with a preteen, who got his iPad out as soon as he sat down, a teen and the parents who got their phones out at the same time. They only spoke to order and to tell the waiting staff where to put the food/drinks.

I thought it was quite sad, tbh.

MrsJayy · 12/04/2017 14:14

Oh I said mine didn't have screens Birds just reminded me they did they had gameboys which we took out with us and they played with

BusyBeez99 · 12/04/2017 14:15

We were abroad a few years ago. All inclusive hotel. So no sitting around waiting for food to arrive. Two kids. Parents got out ipads and headphones for the kids. Kids sat down. Parents went to get kids food. Kids ate and watched. No interaction with parents. Mind you parents didn't really talk to each either, instead fiddling with phones.

Our house rules are no electronics for anyone at all before and during meal. If it's just us and DS then after the meal DS can play on an ipad/Nintendo DS whilst we finish our drinks. We encourage him to join in the conversation or he can sit and listen. He's not an angel but we did this from early on so it's just "as it is" for him. When he was little we used to play game such as hangman with him whilst waiting for food, or I-spy. What's the matter with people that they can't interact with their kids anymore?

Going to have a whole generation growing up unable to operate without watching a screen at this rate!

abcBears · 12/04/2017 14:15

Most of the children around my way never sit at a table to eat, accept at school.

that's really sad. From the time they are old enough to sit in a high chair, I don't know anyone who doesn't eat at a table. I can't even picture how a 3 or 4 year old would be able to eat.
Then they become teenagers and would think nothing of slobbing on a sofa in front of the tv, but that's another story.

brasty · 12/04/2017 14:17

I find it a treat to eat out because I get to choose an individual meal that is well cooked.
And plenty of children do not sit down with the family to eat a meal. Either eating in front of the TV, or playing and eating from the table in small chunks of time in between. If you are not used to sitting and eating at the table with your family, I can see you might hate doing it in a restaurant.

livefornaps · 12/04/2017 14:18

Lol @booboo! Every meal time is a treat for me too!

My parents always said they were proud of how we would always happily sit and hoover everything up and not cause any trouble. But then we were never fussy eaters either and quite happy to loll in chairs for hours.

I'm sure in other ways we were nightmares though!!! Maybe the poor kids in question are lousy at restaurants but are model kids in other areas.

They may have even been dreading seeing the op's kids. Who knows.

annawoolfworries · 12/04/2017 14:24

Dh & I hardly see each other in the week. We go out for lunch on a Saturday as our treat after morning activities with the kids and before an afternoon trip to the park. We have no option for babysitting where we are. For the hour after the meal when we are chatting and catching up I'm more then happy to let the kids watch a bit of peppa. Jeez you have no idea about that family. Wind your neck in and concentrate on what an amazing parent you are without judging others who might bloody need that kid chat free space after god knows what the rest of the week.