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Original poster

Children watching Peppa Pig on phones in restaurant

740 replies

SilverLeafClover · 12/04/2017 11:01

We went for lunch with friends yesterday at the Fifteen restaurant near Newquay. I only mention the place because it has an amazing view of the beach and the sea, which made it all the more surprising that as soon as we sat down, my friend and her husband handed their children (both NT, aged 4 and 6) two phones. For the duration of the meal, the children sat zombie-like and watched Peppa Pig on the screens.

I will admit, I judged.

The parents did not speak to their children and the children were just glued to the screens. My three children aged 8, 5, 3 are not angels but managed to sit through a short meal (main course and then ice cream, no staters, no coffees) without needing screens. I talked to my adult friends and kept an eye on my children, pointing out stuff that was happening outside, large boats passing by, surfers, dogs etc.

Am I am a Luddite? Or am I right to think unlimited access to screens during a meal out is not right?

OP posts:
MiaowTheCat · 12/04/2017 13:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CountessYgritte · 12/04/2017 13:28

So these friends of yours parent in a way you do not approve of. Their kids were quiet and didn't disturb your meal, but you are so incredibly judgemental that you have started a thread on Mumsnet to slag of their parenting whilst pretending you don't consider yours superior.

Really? Is that how you run all friendships? Judge away OP. But you sound like a bit if a cunt.

Oohhh...get me and my judgemental ways!

GwenStaceyRocks · 12/04/2017 13:29

What a lovely holiday themed thread for the Fail and with three cultural references for click through links if they so choose (15, Jamie Oliver and Peppa Pig) Wink

I don't tend to give DS screens at the table but I couldn't care less if other parents do. I'd assume it meant they wanted some adult chat and wanted to pretend they could still eat out in a nice restaurant without having to point out boats, surfers, the weather. In other words, that they wanted to recapture for one meal, the feeling of life before children. What a shame that you kept reminding them of your's Grin

Onlyaplasticbagdear · 12/04/2017 13:31

Christ, I only wish I could persuade my toddler to let me eat in peace by handing him a screen.

Spikeyball · 12/04/2017 13:31

I don't understand why you didn't say all this to your friends. You might want to consider what is "decent" behaviour.

treaclesoda · 12/04/2017 13:32

Those people who think screens are fine, at what age do people think children should stop using them in restaurants? 10? Teens? Adults? If children are brought up thinking it's the norm then they'll always want to use them.

I think that's a strange leap of logic. There are loads of things that young children do that older children don't. By the time they are older they actively enjoy going out to eat, reading the menu, looking forward to tasting their food etc. When they're 4, they only tolerate eating out because the adults are doing it.

maddiemookins16mum · 12/04/2017 13:32

YANBU, it's lazy parenting. I'd have judged too. How on earth did our parents manage taking us out decades ago without iPads or phones (and yes they did take us out quite a lot albeit a Berni Inn which was still a grown up environment and not a Wimpy),

Oh yes, talking, engaging, talking about the food, what we'd done that day etc).

Mothervulva · 12/04/2017 13:34

Screens in restaurants really are my pet hate

How does it affect you though?

silkybear · 12/04/2017 13:34

Agree with you op, we weren't perfect as children but our parents took us out for meals from very young and we knew we would get taken home if there was the slightest hint of us misbehaving. It was a treat so we behaved. I wonder if this lack of interaction is why we are seeing more and more entitled young people who can't behave properly in social situations.

Itaintme · 12/04/2017 13:34

Whats wrong with a bit of lazy parenting sometimes? Talking non stop to your kids is tedious.

abcBears · 12/04/2017 13:34

A 4 and 6 year old really should be able to sit in a restaurant without causing a fuss for the duration of a meal. It's a life skill.

If I see a 4 year old sitting for 2 or 3 hours quietly, I would think that the kid has some disability, or I would feel very sorry for the little dude who must have an awful existence at home if he doesn't dare make a move for so long.

I am adult, and I get fidgety if I have to stay on a chair for too long (difference is, as a grown up I know how to hide it)

See how it feels to be judged instead of minding your own business? I understand people who dislike loud cartoons because it disturbs their time, fair enough, but why is it any of your business how parents occupy their kids? I "judge", I "hate"... what is it to you? The kids are peaceful, how is that such an issue on your little life?

Guitargirl · 12/04/2017 13:36

My DCs both have iPads, they use them at home and on long train journeys (with headphones or the sound turned off).

I don't take the iPads to restaurants or anywhere in public except for the 4 hour train journey to my parents. And we don't take them away on holiday either. Holidays are for experiencing new things not playing on screens.

But to be honest, I can't get worked up about others do. I took the DCs to Peppa Pig World years ago and we stayed in the hotel at the entrance. At dinner every single table in the place except ours had Peppa bloody Pig playing on at least 2 screens per table. And NOT with the sound off. It was like some kind of dystopian piggie universe.

treaclesoda · 12/04/2017 13:37

It was a treat so we behaved

That depends on the child thinking it's a treat. My five year old thinks it's a punishment to go out to eat, he hates it. If I told him 'behave or we'll go home' his behaviour would deteriorate.

If we can keep him quiet and well behaved with a phone, everyone wins.

muttrat · 12/04/2017 13:37

Mine sat. We never spent 3 hours on a meal though Confused

What on earth do you think parents did pre-phones?

Mine sat, coloured, played and when they were bored and figedty we took it in turns to take them out and play with them.

TheRealPooTroll · 12/04/2017 13:38

Since there were other kids there to chat to then surely the children would have spent some of the time chatting and playing with them?
If you want a totally adult focused meal where you don't have to speak to your children at all then you should get a sitter rather than ignoring them for 2 hrs. Would anyone treat another adult like that?
It's basically neglect and I can't believe people are defending it! If you read the op they completely ignored their children and didn't utter a word to them for the whole time they were there! Screens aside how is that ok?

muttrat · 12/04/2017 13:38

That depends on the child thinking it's a treat. My five year old thinks it's a punishment to go out to eat, he hates it. If I told him 'behave or we'll go home' his behaviour would deteriorate.

So he's naughty then?

Owllady · 12/04/2017 13:39

I'm surprised Saint Jamie doesn't have rules about this kind of thing in his restaurant

treaclesoda · 12/04/2017 13:40

So he's naughty then?

Only if he has nothing to distract him.

muttrat · 12/04/2017 13:41

It is an issue for others. These kids are going to be looking after us when we are old! I'd rather the majority grew up to be empathetic and sociable rather than little Princes who can't possibly sit still without staring at a screen doing exactly what they want!

treaclesoda · 12/04/2017 13:44

Empathy has nothing to do with finding it hard to sit still and wait.

ThinEndOfASlipperySlope · 12/04/2017 13:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KavvLar · 12/04/2017 13:45

Doesn't bother me in the slightest. How many threads have we had on here about children running riot in restaurants and parents not bothering to intervene?

If you want to involve your children in grown up conversation, that's absolutely fine. Sometimes I don't. Sometimes I have to go somewhere out of my comfort zone and I manage it, and the kids, as best I can.

Mine are 6 and 3. They are fairly well socialized and can behave in restaurants, but also I know their specific triggers and limits. If I were venturing to an expensive restaurant with them I'd treat the phone as damage limitation, I'd probably throw everything I had at it to keep the mood harmonious and pleasant for other diners.

There are plenty of times when learning opportunities present themselves, but I'd rather manage them in the comfort of my own home at my own dinner table, than go to a nice restaurant in public and deliberately make things more difficult than they need to be.

As a technique to occupy the kids, with it probably being the exception rather than the rule, I don't see the harm.

Mothervulva · 12/04/2017 13:45

*Today 13:41 muttrat

It is an issue for others. These kids are going to be looking after us when we are old! I'd rather the majority grew up to be empathetic and sociable rather than little Princes who can't possibly sit still without staring at a screen doing exactly what they want!*

Right, ok. That makes perfect sense.

abcBears · 12/04/2017 13:45

I don't know a single child who thinks that going to a restaurant is a treat. I hated it when I was younger, you had to sit quietly, eat properly and wait for the bloody thing to be over.

We still eat out quite a lot, but I wouldn't consider that a "treat" for my kids. Pizza Express and other TGIs might be ok, but a proper restaurant not so much.

Crunchymum · 12/04/2017 13:46

Did you speak to the children OP? Did you try to engage them?

I have two very different children. One was fine to go away without a tablet or phone (so he ate out every night and sometimes lunch too and lasted 4h + on a plane) and spent all day without any devices.

My other child needs my phone to sit still for a sandwich in Pret.

I think ideally it wouldn't be for the whole meal but quite frankly if I bother to go somewhere to eat and have to pay for it (even if it is Pret) then I don't want my demented 2yo ruining the experience for me, and everyone else. I know the kids in question are older but the principal could be the same.... mum and dad splashed out on a nice dinner and wanted to ensure the kids didn't ruin it at all?

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