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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Children watching Peppa Pig on phones in restaurant

740 replies

SilverLeafClover · 12/04/2017 11:01

We went for lunch with friends yesterday at the Fifteen restaurant near Newquay. I only mention the place because it has an amazing view of the beach and the sea, which made it all the more surprising that as soon as we sat down, my friend and her husband handed their children (both NT, aged 4 and 6) two phones. For the duration of the meal, the children sat zombie-like and watched Peppa Pig on the screens.

I will admit, I judged.

The parents did not speak to their children and the children were just glued to the screens. My three children aged 8, 5, 3 are not angels but managed to sit through a short meal (main course and then ice cream, no staters, no coffees) without needing screens. I talked to my adult friends and kept an eye on my children, pointing out stuff that was happening outside, large boats passing by, surfers, dogs etc.

Am I am a Luddite? Or am I right to think unlimited access to screens during a meal out is not right?

OP posts:
gillybeanz · 12/04/2017 14:25

I love it in fact I always hope there are parents unable to parent their children and usually put this on, until the parents actually parent Grin

Be warned if the pig ruins my meal, I'll corrupt your darlinks

abcBears · 12/04/2017 14:30

I always hope there are parents unable to parent their children

Biscuit

I love these amazing people like the OP who are such brilliant role-models and show their kids how to judge others without knowing anything. What a fantastic way to demonstrate your superiority.

Next time I go out for lunch, I am tempted to watch a cartoon myself, just to wind up other people. It's half term, so London is full of tourists at the moment. I have to remember to take my ipad with me tomorrow.

SarahS2404 · 12/04/2017 14:37

My cousin does this & it drives me crazy! I am forever telling her to talk to him.

She gives him the phone and doesn't have a conversation but expects him to be able to speak by now which he is only just getting the hang of (he is 3 in July)

She also has a tendency to sit him in the front of her car (no airbag) but personally I believe children should be sat in the back of the car otherwise they expect to be put in the front of all cars. To me it is a privilege something that is earned over time & when they are old enough!

DoItTooJulia · 12/04/2017 14:41

I can't work out why you give a shit?

It's much better for everyone if you let others get on with their own lives.

treaclesoda · 12/04/2017 14:41

I do parent my children.

I consider it my parental duty to keep them sitting at the table and not disturbing others. If I choose to do that with colouring pencils or a phone or whatever, that is my choice. It doesn't mean I'm not parenting. I'm just doing things differently to how some of you do things. Not parenting would be if I turned my back on them and let them run around and disturb people, which is rather different.

gillybeanz · 12/04/2017 14:42

abc

It's not about the OP being a perfect parent, it's that some parents think their needs trump other people's happiness.

Kids can manage without phones and gadgets, they have done for centuries. What's wrong with a few crayons and pad, or a book.
Or heaven forbid some music with headphones.

You can have a child free chat at home whilst they are playing, other people have to get through a week of god knows what and want to chill at weekend, not put up with entitled parents , who are more than happy to encourage their children to ruin the atmosphere.

annawoolfworries · 12/04/2017 14:50

Tbh some if you spend so much time worrying about what other people do with their kids I can't imagine your enjoying your own that much, or you just wouldn't notice.

brasty · 12/04/2017 14:52

I don't really care if you do this with your kids. But I don't accept those saying that it is impossible to get kids to behave okay without electronics.
French nurseries expect young children to sit down and eat a 3 course lunch every day. This is about expectations, and Britain still does not have the same family eating together culture of many other countries.

MegMez · 12/04/2017 15:15

I'm with you on this one. No screens at the table at home. Definitely no screens on a meal out. It costs money to eat out so everyone needs to darn well get the most out of it.

Meal times are about social interaction and family time. (and FOOD obviously)

If I'm going out for a meal with kids of course it's easier if there's colouring on offer or the food comes quickly but I don't need to hypnotise them with a screen. They're all in primary school now so can talk and engage with other people at a meal out but even as toddlers they'd have a toy or a book or be passed lap to lap.

Fully judgey on this topic.

Reminds me of a time we were out for a meal with the kids and family (in a Hungry Horse so welcoming of families) and this guy at the next table with his son was showing off to the other two adults with them about the opera show he'd taken his kid to and how much he'd got out of it. Erm, mister - your kid would've got a helluva lot more out of socially interacting with the other humans at the table than staring blankly at a tiny screen. So weird.

Chippednailvarnishing · 12/04/2017 15:20

Or heaven forbid some music with headphones

Yeah, 'cause that will really help the conversation.

Teabagtits · 12/04/2017 15:22

Thing is if the kids were acting up no doubt some judgey holier than thou poster would be on to post about badly behaved kids in a restaurant and how they shouldn't be there if they can't behave. Can't bloody win.

Batgirlspants · 12/04/2017 15:23

Yes and those little darlings need everything to be entertainment too like school and car journeys and life itself.

By constantly trying to entertain kids you make it all about their instant gratification.

If the 4 and 6 year old can't sit still, eat chooses food, chat to their parents and behave reasonably well without staring mindlessly at a silent crappy cartoon it's a bloody sad state of affairs.

Spikeyball · 12/04/2017 15:24

Meal times are about whatever each family/couple/individual wants them to be about. All that matters is that they are not avoidably disturbing others.

Nairsmellsbad · 12/04/2017 15:24

Not a fan of this. I'd rather the children were drawing or talking. Having said that, I'd rather see somebody's child glued to a screen than running around being a PITA

AwaywiththePixies27 · 12/04/2017 15:26

I think as long as when the food arrives the Peppa Pig is put down, fine by me!

Peppa Pig was probably on the plate! Grin

No. YNBU to expect them to put the screens down when eating but I'm afraid with DS (AS) you'd probably judge me too. Devices are put down/away whilst eating. In between time is fine. Trust me the alternative would be a nightmare and is why we rarely eat out anyway.

AwaywiththePixies27 · 12/04/2017 15:27

I do parent my children.

I consider it my parental duty to keep them sitting at the table and not disturbing others. If I choose to do that with colouring pencils or a phone or whatever, that is my choice. It doesn't mean I'm not parenting. I'm just doing things differently to how some of you do things. Not parenting would be if I turned my back on them and let them run around and disturb people, which is rather different.

Everything treaclesoda said. ^^

IvyLeagueUnderTheSea · 12/04/2017 15:40

My five year old thinks it's a punishment to go out to eat, he hates it.

So don't do it then.

MsGameandWatch · 12/04/2017 16:07

The judgmental smugness on this thread is nauseating.

Bestthingever · 12/04/2017 16:19

If children are given screens to watch at the table, when will they ever learn to sit properly at the table? If they can't sit at the table in a restaurant, don't take them out. Eating in a restaurant is not a necessity.
Ds1 would get fidgety and bored when he was little so we only ever went to relaxed cheap places like Pizza Hut where people wouldn't mind if I walked around with him to give him a break from sitting at the table. Tablets weren't around in those days but I would never have done that. Teaching my kids good table manners is important to me and I really don't think getting them used to watching tv at the table is going in the right direction.

lazyparenting101 · 12/04/2017 16:23

I love these amazing people like the OP who are such brilliant role-models and show their kids how to judge others without knowing anything

God help anyone for wanting children to develop social skills and actually interact with their peers. But then again what chance to some kids have when their parent has the opinion...

Other people's children are boring - at best. No one cares about the fascinating conversations of a 5 year old. I don't impose my kids on other adults.

Spikeyball · 12/04/2017 16:25

So wrong to do something that doesn't disturb anyone else but ok to wander around with toddler annoying others.

Lagirafe · 12/04/2017 16:25

I think it's a shame but they are surely only thinking of other diners in trying to keep the DC occupied / quiet.
Not all children are the same and I have done screens with mine before as they don't sit well. I tend to try and make it through the mains first I feel possible though.

hazeyjane · 12/04/2017 16:26

Meal times are about whatever each family/couple/individual wants them to be about. All that matters is that they are not avoidably disturbing others.

And if any of you were watching me, dd1 and ds in Pizza Express today- no ds didn't eat any of his pizza, yes he did watch the ipad the whole time we were in there, yes we had a lovely time thankyou - after a long morning at the hospital, where ds had to do a 2 hour assessment (so was a little frazzled) and dd1 had to sit and watch (pizza express was her reward)

If you had just seen the snapshot, I suppose it would have just looked sad and a bit of bad parenting and we would have been judged (although I could not give a single fuck if we were)

DonaldStott · 12/04/2017 16:27

I only mention the place because it has an amazing view of the beach and the sea

Lol that the 4 and 6 year old should be bedazzled by the stunning views.

I agree no screens whilst eating the meal, but parents know their own children, so it's up to them.

lazyparenting101 · 12/04/2017 16:31

*I do parent my children.

I consider it my parental duty to keep them sitting at the table and not disturbing others. If I choose to do that with colouring pencils or a phone or whatever, that is my choice. It doesn't mean I'm not parenting. I'm just doing things differently to how some of you do things. Not parenting would be if I turned my back on them and let them run around and disturb people, which is rather different.*

Yes this parenting....lazy parenting. Instead of teaching a child who's boss and to listen to authority (which prepares the from school) vs getting constant attention.

I mentioned before my nieces are less responsive and attentive since receiving ipads 6months ago. What I didn't mention is they also steamroll into a room and flap their arms around until they get their parents attention, whilst previously they would patiently wait until the parent had finished talking before getting their attention.

You're right it's parenting...lazy parenting.