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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Children watching Peppa Pig on phones in restaurant

740 replies

SilverLeafClover · 12/04/2017 11:01

We went for lunch with friends yesterday at the Fifteen restaurant near Newquay. I only mention the place because it has an amazing view of the beach and the sea, which made it all the more surprising that as soon as we sat down, my friend and her husband handed their children (both NT, aged 4 and 6) two phones. For the duration of the meal, the children sat zombie-like and watched Peppa Pig on the screens.

I will admit, I judged.

The parents did not speak to their children and the children were just glued to the screens. My three children aged 8, 5, 3 are not angels but managed to sit through a short meal (main course and then ice cream, no staters, no coffees) without needing screens. I talked to my adult friends and kept an eye on my children, pointing out stuff that was happening outside, large boats passing by, surfers, dogs etc.

Am I am a Luddite? Or am I right to think unlimited access to screens during a meal out is not right?

OP posts:
TheRealPooTroll · 12/04/2017 12:54

Why would a nearly 5 yr old not be able to sit for 2hrs entertained by food, chatting, games, pens and paper etc? I'm sure most children of that age travel by car for that long or longer occasionally.

Mothervulva · 12/04/2017 12:54

I don't use screens in a restaurant, but I pick and choose the location carefully. I agree with the pp, in this country there is often an atmosphere if children are present. I wouldn't comment on others doing it, maybe they just needed some time out in order to enjoy their meal.

Itaintme · 12/04/2017 12:56

I've never seen a child yet who didn't get bored with colouring after about 5 minutes.

Spikeyball · 12/04/2017 12:56

The only 6 year olds I know who would want to watch Peppa Pig have sn.

multivac · 12/04/2017 12:56

I have no strong feelings about the screens thing.

I have pretty strong feelings about meeting "friends" for lunch one day, then running to the highest traffic area of the 'nation's most popular parenting website' to encourage strangers to judge their parenting the next, though. Especially in a way that is totally identifying.

MrsGB2225 · 12/04/2017 12:57

They must have said at least one word, otherwise how did they order their lunch?!

Itaintme · 12/04/2017 12:58

MN for parents by parents likes nothing better than to tell other parents how crap they are.

abcBears · 12/04/2017 12:58

Why would a nearly 5 yr old not be able to sit for 2hrs entertained by food, chatting, games, pens and paper etc?

that's the point, mine do, but I can't be doing that and talking to my friends at the same time. It's awfully rude to concentrate your entire meal around the kid and completely neglect your friends. Why bother meeting them in the first place? I parent mine when we are a family, but I show them that we prioritise guests when they come.

Look, it's a bit like potty training. We all go through it, it's important for the kids more than the parents. However, I have no interest whatsoever with being involved in another kids potty practice. Don't invite me over when you are in the middle of it.

witsender · 12/04/2017 12:59

My daughter is nearly 7 and loves peppa pig. Rarely watches it due to the channels we have available, but thoroughly enjoys it.

Itaintme · 12/04/2017 13:00

Exactly, don't come to lunch with me if you are going to spend all your time playing games with your kids.

Booboo66 · 12/04/2017 13:01

My kids are good in restaurants so screens are never needed but maybe their 2 have form for being hard work, maybe they'd had a busy few days with them and wanted to fully enjoy this experience. Maybe they felt it was the best way to avoid disturbing other diners. Not some thing I would do but I wouldn't judge anyone else that did!

IWishIWasBufffy · 12/04/2017 13:03

We manage to eat out with DD (20months) without relying on a screen whatsoever, and I'm sure many of us as children managed to sit around a table with grown ups without needing constant distraction!

That being said, it does seem the norm these days so I'd suggest just ignoring it!

Reactivedog · 12/04/2017 13:03

My daughter is nearly 7 and loves peppa pig. Rarely watches it due to the channels we have available, but thoroughly enjoys it

Mine did too. Mind you she got bullied by other six year olds for having a frill on her swimming costume at school swimming lessons as it was 'babyish'.

TheLuckyMrsPine · 12/04/2017 13:10

Why don't you just raise this with the parents - your friends.
After all if they are on mumsnet this has outed your view on them.

KitKats28 · 12/04/2017 13:14

Why is it smug parenting to think that if children are brought up to behave properly, they will. Why is it smug parenting to not think the only alternative to Peppa Pig is running round and screaming?

carpetbagger I had a similarly "spirited" DC. I preferred the less euphemistic term "little sod". The reason your 4 year old "doesn't do" all the things you say, is because you haven't made her do them. No baby/toddler has the autonomy to decide what it will "do".

I've always taken my kids out to eat (albeit at cheap places) and if they didn't behave, they got taken out. It's not that complicated. I had books and colouring in my bag in case the food took a while to come, and for afterwards if we wanted another drink.

ThePigletatwork · 12/04/2017 13:15

as I said before the kind of person who makes dining out with small dc in the UK unbearable for those of us with dc who will not sit still

Ah but perhaps other could say that children like yours make dining out in the UK unbearable?
When mine were small and fidgety, we didn't eat out unless it was a Hungry Horse or Burger King.
It kind of went with early parenthood.

AppleOfMyEye10 · 12/04/2017 13:16

TBH all I would have cared about is that they were behaved and didn't make a nuisance of themselves. If being glued to the phone sorted that then I couldn't have been bothered.

nannybeach · 12/04/2017 13:16

Article in the Daily Mail last week about Mothers who are on their phones so much, their children are complaining to them and crying! Am with you on this one, adults or children on any sort of device while trying to have a conversation or meal (unless they are of course an eminent brain surgeon on call, then I MAY make exception!!)

bingandabong · 12/04/2017 13:17

I regularly go out for meals with my DS who is 2 and DH..we take a device but only for after the meal is finished (well his meal) and he is getting restless and we want to finish our drinks/food. But I always try other bits I've bought with us like a little toy, colouring pens and paper.
I use it as a last resort certainly not as soon as we sit down of for the whole meal.

SparkleGoldGlitter · 12/04/2017 13:18

I see nothing wrong with it tbh, at least those parents weren't letting the children disturb other paying customers becuase they can't be bothered to sort the child out when in a restaurant plenty of parents think that's ok

Sometimes as adults you want to talk to other adults Shock and if a bit of Peppa Pig helps you do that why the hell not? If you want to eat in peace and that helps again why not?

Yes some child can still still in a restaurant from 8 months old while mucnhing on kale but some can't, some have to be a bit older and that is fine

muttrat · 12/04/2017 13:18

I think that's very sad. When mine were 6 they LOVED going out to restaurants. They still remember some of the meals we had now, and they are teenagers!

Chippednailvarnishing · 12/04/2017 13:20

Is there a reason this is your first post OP?

I'm guessing that the Peppa Pig watching DC's just don't like you or your perfect children and the screens were a bribe for them to sit through a meal knowing a grown adult would be posting about them on the internet later and calling them zombie like.

FlapAttack78 · 12/04/2017 13:20

Judge away.. as long as you don't voice your judgement thn your friends may still tolerate you

OSETmum · 12/04/2017 13:24

I'm not sure why there's such a need for all the sarcasm from parents with children with ASD on this thread. The OP has clearly said the children are NT.

Screens in restaurants really are my pet hate. A 4 and 6 year old really should be able to sit in a restaurant without causing a fuss for the duration of a meal. It's a life skill. Aren't they a bit old for Peppa Pig anyway?

Those people who think screens are fine, at what age do people think children should stop using them in restaurants? 10? Teens? Adults? If children are brought up thinking it's the norm then they'll always want to use them. And what about occasions where it would be inappropriate to use screens before/ during/ after a meal e.g. a wedding meal?

MycatsaPirate · 12/04/2017 13:25

YANBU

We went out for dinner with friends the other day. My friends DS has downs and has autism as well as a very short attention span. He managed to sit with us at the table perfectly well and eat and actually talk to us without the need for a screen. While we were waiting for food he did have the ipad and he was showing me the rides he'd been on that day but he was extremely hungry and it was more a diversion than anything else!

When he and I had finished eating he was getting restless so he came to me and sat on my lap while I blew raspberries on his cheek making him laugh - yes we got some looks because he is pretty noisy but that's who he is. Him having a full on melt down would be way more disruptive than a few shrieks of laughter.