Children watching Peppa Pig on phones in restaurant

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We went for lunch with friends yesterday at the Fifteen restaurant near Newquay. I only mention the place because it has an amazing view of the beach and the sea, which made it all the more surprising that as soon as we sat down, my friend and her husband handed their children (both NT, aged 4 and 6) two phones. For the duration of the meal, the children sat zombie-like and watched Peppa Pig on the screens.

I will admit, I judged.

The parents did not speak to their children and the children were just glued to the screens. My three children aged 8, 5, 3 are not angels but managed to sit through a short meal (main course and then ice cream, no staters, no coffees) without needing screens. I talked to my adult friends and kept an eye on my children, pointing out stuff that was happening outside, large boats passing by, surfers, dogs etc.

Am I am a Luddite? Or am I right to think unlimited access to screens during a meal out is not right?

Well I don't see it harming my grandson who is red hot at his tables because of his ipad. He also uses it to watch videos about drawing, which is his passion, he doesn't use it passively, it is a tool and he uses it well just like I used books. I suppose the invention of the printing press caused similar worries.

Anna NT stands for neurotypical
Which would be someone without conditions such as Autism for example.

I think you're really over egging it tbh Poo DD doesn't spend anywhere near 7 hours a day on a screen, she's 4!
Even half an hour looking at my phone whilst i chat with a friend and drink coffee isn't going to do her any harm.

So kids concentrating on a screen is bad but gazing out the window in a world of their own being creative is good. Wouldn't it be awful if a nasty adult spoke to them and spoilt that opportunity to be creative or should I say bored?

In ye olden days of 70s/80s people tended to go out to eat much less often. When I arrived at university there was a high proportion of people who had never been to a restaurant in their 18 years.

Our family did eat out but not massively often so when we did it was a real treat to be enjoyed. I particularly loved one restaurant where the waiter gave me 50p and took me to the newsagents next door to choose sweeties whilst my parents finished their meal (sounds deeply dubious in retrospect).

Its only over the last 10 years or so that there's really become a culture of having frequent meals out and bringing children to all locations. If it's a longish meal or the end of a fun packed holiday day then I really can't see the harm in some screen time. As I said before I always had my head in a book when I could.

How did I survive? Or more to the point , my parents. Had meals out as a family with absolutely no screens available, no soft play areas to run off to inbetween courses. Food took longer to arrive as no microwave or prepackaged frozen restaurant supplies. How did we cope sitting at a table without getting off the seat. We were disciplined to do so with parents explaining place was not a playground and other people did not want to have their meal ruined by bad behaviour. There would have been no more meals out if we didn't co-operate. Parents are the problem nowadays, they have children but do not want the hassle or go to the trouble of actually working at giving rules and sticking to them. Anything for an easy life seems to be the philosophy with parents! Sorry, but feel really strongly about allowing screens to be at the table whether adults or children.

Parents are the problem nowadays, they have children but do not want the hassle or go to the trouble of actually working at giving rules and sticking to them. Anything for an easy life seems to be the philosophy with parents!

I don't know a single parent like this. Maybe I AM a parent like this? . Except I can't be because every person who has anything to do with my kids comments on what lovely manners they have.

I'm afraid once again I believe it's in the eye of the beholder or the daily mail reader

Parents are the problem nowadays Really??!!! Parents are no bloody different - some are hands off, some are too busy, not interested, some are overly fussy and helicopter - in the good old days it was acceptable to go to the pub and leave your kids outside (back in time for the 70's!!) My parents practiced benign neglect - they had loads of kids - they rarely spoke to us much around the dinner table....dh's dad spoke to dh and everyone else was silent, of course years later he regretted his poor parenting. There has always been a variety of parenting styles - some were shit, violent, neglectful and some were overly rules based and cruel and if you were/are lucky your parents are balanced, loving and bloody normal but none were perfect textbook.
Where's your evidence except blind bloody prejudice that parents have got worse - I call bullshit!

And back in those "rose tinted good old days" eating out was a hugely special occasion, a big birthday or anniversary it certainly wasn't as casual as I can't be arsed cooking shall we go out instead?...unless you were very well off of course, even then it wasn't "fun". Eating out is the norm now. It's daft to compare. We ate out at hotels on holiday - it was a stiff formal environment - I don't recall enjoying it much - the food was horrid and it was very Victorian in attitude not like restaurants now...things are more casual and relaxed - so what if kids spend time on their phones now - judge all you like but know that you are a rare breed of parent if you have not fucked up your child in some way and if you think you haven't, maybe they just aren't telling you?!

The difference nowdays is the availability of screens. If parents ignored their kids in the past they shoved them outside where at least they could interact with each other and learn and develop that way. Kids tv was a couple of hours in the evening and on a weekend morning. Kids tv is now 24 hr and when kids aren't at home they can be, and frequently are, sat in front of Youtube watching other people unpack fucking Kinder eggs! Or silent Peppa Pig.

But you can't extrapolate - Peppa Pig being used in a restaurant when people are meeting up with friends they haven't seen in ages, with kids spending all their waking hours in front of screens - things aren't that black and white. Parents are capable of being selective about timing - granted some aren't but how can you tell one from the other. Maybe the parents who chat with their dcs while out at a restaurant are showing off - a bit of performance parenting but while at home ignore their kids - you just don't know!!!!

No it was only acceptable to leave your kids outside the pub in a certain section of people in the 70s. Some people were horrified about it.Just as some parents spanked then, and some thought it was abusive.

To be fair if it's a smart restaurant I find it really annoying when parent's are jiggling around chattering loudly trying to occupy their children and keep them entertained. I would judge you more and find your friends respectful to other diners if the sound was kept low on the tablet/phone.

I'm in my 40s and as a child we only ever ate out on holidays. The first time I remember going for a family meal out was when I was about 15.

On holidays (my only experience of eating out as a young child) I would absolutely never have been allowed to run round a restaurant, and I would have got a slap around the back of the legs if I had. But what I was allowed to do was to bring a book, or a notebook and pen. And if I didn't have those things, I was, as others have said, reading the menu, the labels, anything that I could get my hands on. My parents certainly didn't ignore me, but nor was I their entire focus. I don't think being encouraged to stare out a window with no stimulation is a good thing, I don't believe that is a positive thing. I have no desire to sit and stare into space as an adult, I think it is a miserable way to spend time, and I have no intention of forcing a child to do it just because they are a child.

That's true lottachocca but the average is now 7 hrs per day. Obviously some kids will have much less screen time than this but that also means some kids are having much more.
And treacle no-one is suggesting forcing anyone to stare out of a window. My point was that children will amuse themselves without all singing and dancing screens if they are allowed. Just as I might enjoy a spot of people watching whilst sitting in the window of a coffee shop.
Constantly entertaining kids means that they expect to be constantly entertained and their brains can't cope without being constantly entertained. Then their parents wonder why they NEED an Ipad.

And I'm not sure why you think watching the world around you counts as no stimulation? Interaction with other people and the natural world around you is all the stimulation that the human brain needs.

And I'm not sure why you think watching the world around you counts as no stimulation? Interaction with other people and the natural world around you is all the stimulation that the human brain needs.

I'm sorry but that's a ridiculous thing to say.

Constantly entertaining kids means that they expect to be constantly entertained

But yet, people throughout the thread have said that parents should be playing games with their children, asking them questions, discussing whatever is outside etc. That is also constantly entertaining them

I don't find the natural world around me stimulating at all. I definitely wouldn't expect a child to find it stimulating.

Our dcs don't particularly enjoy dh's University mates - Oxbridge intellectual types - they try hard but they often fail to engage and impress our dcs, we meet them in foreign cities....the dcs only really tolerate the 2-3 hours we meet with the help of on screen entertainment, of course the screen is dropped while interacting with waiting staff and while eating...now I can imagine people judging but we know that it is at most a bi-annual occasion - 4 hours a year on a pone with exclusive parental interaction isn't damaging - or have we totally fucked up? Oh the shame!

I thought fondly of this thread tonight when we were out for dinner as a family (a rare event, because as mentioned upthread our five year old hates it, but we were far from home and hungry, and he has to learn). Five year old got restless, begged for something to do, and we allowed him to play Angry Birds whilst he waited for his food (there was no colouring pencils or anything ).

Strangely enough, we were by the sea, and I think if we had had a window seat he would have happily sat and watched the birds outside. But anyway, a couple of minutes of Angry Birds, whilst simultaneously chatting to us, and he voluntarily set it down again and turned his full attention back to us. So, about three minutes of screen time allowed us to sidestep a lot of very trying behaviour, and at no time was he staring slack jawed at a screen and ignoring everyone. He didn't disturb anyone, and he spoke to the staff when they served us. I'm happy with the outcome and happy that no harm was done to him.

I remember the time we were having our dinner on holiday. It had been an action packed day at the beach and as it was quite an upmarket restaurant which lingered over course delivery , once he had finished his main DS was playing on the ipad whilst we enjoyed a more leisurely meal.

A couple in their early sixties came over and said how horrified they were when they saw we had our DS with us and wanted to compliment us on how quiet he was. I pointed to the ipad and they instantly did cats bum mouths and walked off.

Lazy parenting on our part - probably? DS would probably have preferred to eat a pizza in th apartment, but it was our holiday too and I'm not sure there is a huge difference between sitting in the restaurant on e the meal was finished or sitting in th apartment doing the same thing.

I saw a family in TKMaxx yesterday with their roughly 5-6 yr old on her scooter - that to me is bad parenting as there is a chance that someone will get hurt, not using an ipad for lengthy meals.

Like MsGames I too just stopped going out.

2 of my 3 have special needs including autism.

My health visitor with the eldest kept trying to get me to join various mother and baby groups, and I tried, I did. But I found the tuts and the disapproving looks too much to bear. My son (now 15) often just came across as a naughty child.

I DO get looked at with tuts and heads being shook. I use devices when out of the house extensively. It simply makes it possible

My daughter is 8, due to various modern tech she has been able to be out more. Social more. She can deal with situations better than her biggest brother. He barely went out before school age. I thank technology for this.

Dear people. Do not judge things you have no business to judge!

I remember taking the ds's at that age to a wedding a whole full day. During a break following the service I had gleefully got out a bag of colouring books and pencils out for ds. When I came back from the toilets ds's were sat with all the kids of different ages who were all occupied on their tablets/phones etc

We went out yesterday for early dinner and I made a point of looking around to see what everyone was doing. There were a few other kids around and each of them was either playing a game or watching cartoons so I think it's just standard these days. I brought my DC a colouring book (also peppa pig actually) and he happily coloured in whilst we waited for the food and then his cooled down enough to eat (he's 2 so gets impatient when everyone else is eating away and I'm frantically blowing on his). I'm lucky he's usually well behaved but I will admit to having films and games on my iPad and phone just in case. Long car trips it's needed more though.

We didn't actually go anywhere as nice as you but we did have a "seaview"