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AIBU?

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Original poster

Children watching Peppa Pig on phones in restaurant

740 replies

SilverLeafClover · 12/04/2017 11:01

We went for lunch with friends yesterday at the Fifteen restaurant near Newquay. I only mention the place because it has an amazing view of the beach and the sea, which made it all the more surprising that as soon as we sat down, my friend and her husband handed their children (both NT, aged 4 and 6) two phones. For the duration of the meal, the children sat zombie-like and watched Peppa Pig on the screens.

I will admit, I judged.

The parents did not speak to their children and the children were just glued to the screens. My three children aged 8, 5, 3 are not angels but managed to sit through a short meal (main course and then ice cream, no staters, no coffees) without needing screens. I talked to my adult friends and kept an eye on my children, pointing out stuff that was happening outside, large boats passing by, surfers, dogs etc.

Am I am a Luddite? Or am I right to think unlimited access to screens during a meal out is not right?

OP posts:
Itaintme · 14/04/2017 11:24

Depends what the conversation is
I don't think all my conversations should involve my children.

KingsCross88 · 14/04/2017 11:28

I sat across from a friend and her dd in the same situation the other day thinking how much things have changed. My DM was semi-afraid of the TV always telling us to move back and that we'd ruin our eyes if we watched for longer than 30 minutes - and now screens are everywhere!

But when my friend put her phone away, her little dd immediately wanted to start running circuits around the restaurant - with me having to take my turn following her - so I was quite relieved when she switched it back on again...

TheOldLandmark · 14/04/2017 12:00

MsGameandWatch

Personally the iPad has opened up our world. I couldn't go for meals with my children or on holiday without it. I would never go to a hotel without wifi for example. "What did people do before!?" I hear you cry, well we just stayed at home...

Yes indeed, since time immemorial, until the brave new dawn of iPads and mobile phones, every single human with children cowered in their homes too terrified to leave Grin

Fondly recalls the flock wallpaper and interesting music, unusual aromas, and sitting, probably impatiently, until I got to smoosh my ice cream round and round in a silver dish. Oh, and being with my parents.

GreenGinger2 · 14/04/2017 12:01

MsGame what an utterly ridiculous post.

So before the iPad( a relatively new invention)nobody went anywhere. No holidays or meals out. What tosh.

Are some people seriously that unable to parent their children they can't do anything unless they have 'the iPad'?Shock

sleepydee9 · 14/04/2017 12:03

There's always the fear based parenting running through these threads. 'If we don't make them act like little adults at the table at age 4 then how on earth will they do it when they're older'.

The good news is that as children grow up their age appropriate behaviours change with their age and they still infact become functional adults.

Perhaps the parents knew that they were meeting with their judgey friends and they didn't want to deal with judgement for their children's choice of conversation or bouncy behaviour. Perhaps the screens were considered to be a good idea to keep their children similarly quiet so that all adults could talk. Perhaps unfortunately they were left bored as their friends talked about big dogs and made up stories about where boats might be going instead of giving them a game or a screen and having an adult conversation, and they've realized this isn't the right family to dine out with. Whatever the situation, now they can see this thread and realize that they probably can't do right by Judgey Family Grin

Spikeyball · 14/04/2017 12:08

MsGame's children have autism.

Spikeyball · 14/04/2017 12:12

As does mine and although mine can't use and no interest in ipads, there are other things we always have available to enable him to try to cope.

Itaintme · 14/04/2017 12:12

I think you should read MrsGames posts again before you dismiss her posts as tosh.

GreenGinger2 · 14/04/2017 12:15

Ah forgot, that said she said that visiting places with children without iPads is such a problem their invention has had an impact on the local economy.

Sorry but as regards kids without Sen that is just ridiculous.

With her children I understand but on a population level and as regards mainstream kids needing an iPad to eat out and go on holiday is a sign of lazy parenting and little else.

Itaintme · 14/04/2017 12:20

I was excellent at being a lazy parent.

PortiaCastis · 14/04/2017 12:21

Judge judge judge.
Do not criticise unless you're perfect yourself and nobody is perfect

Children watching Peppa Pig on phones in restaurant
GreenGinger2 · 14/04/2017 12:21

Great

Spikeyball · 14/04/2017 12:23

Interesting that your first assumption was that what she said was ridiculous. I bet you would have the same judgemental look if you saw her children on holiday or out for a meal.

sleepydee9 · 14/04/2017 12:24

I know adults with autism who use screens to cope too and people are similarly judgey and mean. Some of them will be the ones criticised for 'staring at their phones' in soft play or playgrounds instead of playing with their children, despite the fact it's these screens which allow them to cope so their children can run around and play with other kids.

The bit i found unusual was a 6 year old being happy to watch Peppa Pig for presumably over an hour. Do many of you have kids still watching Peppa at that age?

GreenGinger2 · 14/04/2017 12:26

So why are you on MN then Portia? People judge daily,is some judging justified over other judging? Best specify which.

PortiaCastis · 14/04/2017 12:28

Why are you and your sanctimony on Mn ?

Itaintme · 14/04/2017 12:29

Believe it or not some people use MN for other reasons,not just to judge other people's parenting .But if that's all you use MN for.Crack on.

GreenGinger2 · 14/04/2017 12:32

Um it's aibu so replying will involve an element of judging now and again. On other areas of the site not so much.

hazeyjane · 14/04/2017 12:32

I thought sitting in judgement of others was something we should strive not to do, like being understanding and doing the right thing.

I don't come to Mumsnet to judge others, I come because I ocassionally meet likeminded people on here, I have made friends here, I read posts which make me laugh, I get advice and support, hopefully I sometimes give advice and provide support and I get to talk about the important stuff in life like, which are the best sort of towels to take camping and which chocolate bar is best when melted into coffee.

TheOldLandmark · 14/04/2017 12:32

TheOldLandmark Fri 14-Apr-17 02:39:06

I wrote bar SN related sensory support...but MsGames (not MrsGames Itaintme) professed all (use of 'WE' in a general sense) parents should do as they do?

Can't see where OP even hints at additional support needs on the thread.

DC currently hitting the laptops hard at home this Easter Friday, enabling me to read and comment. The blank stare, and complete lack of reaction to me singing 'Son of a preacher man' loudly as an off the cuff MN mini-experiment is enough to keep from throwing in the towel with regards to extending their access to all things electronic.

dArtagnansCrumpet · 14/04/2017 12:37

We are going away for a few days next week. My eldest who's 4 has autism. We were always against giving the kids a tablet instead of being in the real world. The last couple of weeks we have borrowed my dad's iPad and its been brilliant for my son, he is concentrating on a task longer than two minutes and even getting me to join in! He is very anxious in new places so i am loading the iPad up with games for him to play if he should be distressed. Frankly I'm not bothered if anyone judges it's me who has to deal with my son day in day out. I can't never go out because of him i have a 2 year old aswell!

GreenGinger2 · 14/04/2017 12:38

Glad for you Hazeyjane. I don't generally but now and again I'll answer an aibu in the way that reflects my option particularly on subjects I might regard as important. This is one.

Tiredstressed · 14/04/2017 12:42

Personally I'd rather that children were occupied rather than being disruptive. In an ideal world distractions wouldn't be needed but we don't live in an ideal world. I'd also think that it was none of my business as I don't know anything about the family or the circumstances. However, some people prefer to judge the parenting of others, which is a shame.

MsGameandWatch · 14/04/2017 14:09

Yes indeed, since time immemorial, until the brave new dawn of iPads and mobile phones, every single human with children cowered in their homes too terrified to leave **

Not what I was saying at all. Both my children have autism and I am a single parent, have said this a number of times on this thread.

MsGameandWatch · 14/04/2017 14:13

but MsGames (not MrsGames Itaintme) professed all (use of 'WE' in a general sense) parents should do as they do?

I did no such thing. And look at you pedantically pointing out a mistake of ONE letter. I feel happy to ignore anything further you post after that.