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AIBU?

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Original poster

Children watching Peppa Pig on phones in restaurant

740 replies

SilverLeafClover · 12/04/2017 11:01

We went for lunch with friends yesterday at the Fifteen restaurant near Newquay. I only mention the place because it has an amazing view of the beach and the sea, which made it all the more surprising that as soon as we sat down, my friend and her husband handed their children (both NT, aged 4 and 6) two phones. For the duration of the meal, the children sat zombie-like and watched Peppa Pig on the screens.

I will admit, I judged.

The parents did not speak to their children and the children were just glued to the screens. My three children aged 8, 5, 3 are not angels but managed to sit through a short meal (main course and then ice cream, no staters, no coffees) without needing screens. I talked to my adult friends and kept an eye on my children, pointing out stuff that was happening outside, large boats passing by, surfers, dogs etc.

Am I am a Luddite? Or am I right to think unlimited access to screens during a meal out is not right?

OP posts:
LittleBearPad · 13/04/2017 09:04

I agree with you OP, particularly because the phones were handed out as you sat down and kept on throughout the meal.

Phones can be a handy distraction if needed but they shouldn't be the default option as it appears they were here.

Only1scoop · 13/04/2017 09:12

If you're post details aren't masked then I'm waiting for the other parent now....many details

Only1scoop · 13/04/2017 09:14

I do agree though.

Batgirlspants · 13/04/2017 09:15

Lazy arse parenting. My dogs social skills are excellent.

BusterGonad · 13/04/2017 09:19

I wasn't that interested when the restaurant name was mentioned, then completely lost interest at the name dropping of Jamie Oliver. I cannot understand why we need to know either of these facts.....

Brighteyes27 · 13/04/2017 09:19

Have always taken kids out for meals with us within days of being born as this is something we enjoy and have never had any sitters.
Ours kids are addicted to screens now a teen and tween and know better than to use screens in a restaurant nowadays.
SIL and BIL have much younger kids and have always plonked their kids in front of a screen as soon as they could hold one. Thr kids sit zombified throughout the duration of the meal (both are bad talkers) that can barely hold a conversation when spoken to.
Personally I think parents should learn kids how to behave in restaurants when young without total reliance on screens.
Having said that I would never have gone anywhere too expensive or flashy at that age as this place sounds and if we eat out on an evening we take the kids to a restaurant very early on so as not to spoil the atmosphere of someone trying to have a very quiet romantic meal.

Jaynebxl · 13/04/2017 09:25

I think the op only mentioned the name of the restaurant as part of setting the scene... that it was somewhere nice with a lovely view. It added to the colour of the description for me as I could picture the scene. I didn't get the impression it was any kind of stealth boast. We've taken our kids to Jamie's several times where we live because we all like the food and it's in a good location. Lots of families go there, it's not a big thing (so long as the kids aren't wild!).

Jaynebxl · 13/04/2017 09:26

Just went back to double check and it was lunch so again pretty normal to take kids. .. not a late evening when people are out for a romantic dinner.

multivac · 13/04/2017 10:07

It added to the colour of the description for me as I could picture the scene

And also, of course, made the post entirely indentifying. Which, as I said at the start, is the main bit of crappy human behaviour here, for me. Met with "friends"? Really? "Friends"?

Edballsisoneniftydancer · 13/04/2017 10:13

And also, of course, made the post entirely indentifying. Which, as I said at the start, is the main bit of crappy human behaviour here, for me.

Yep. Public bitching about friends way worse than letting your children watch their screens at the table. Now this is what I call a basic.

Edballsisoneniftydancer · 13/04/2017 10:22

I think my last post may have sounded like I was disagreeing with multivac....I absolutely was not...totally agree with him/her

Andcake · 13/04/2017 11:17

I hate this...it's the automatic nature of it. I kind of understand if kids start acting up and it's only way to distract. It's not something I do but get it somewhat.
I get more annoyed when I see it on train journeys etc look out the bloody window...chat to child. Esp at 4 and 6.
I also believe that a bit of boredom helps build imagination and constant need for distraction makes me worry about how these kids will manage at work I'm having enough problems with younger Millennials and lack of resilience but that's another thread ...

Spikeyball · 13/04/2017 11:25

It is not always about distraction. It can be about coping and if you leave it till the child is getting upset, you have left it too late.

user1483705947 · 13/04/2017 11:34

People can't win these days, child too loud and disruptive in restaurant, child too quiet and still n restuarant.

You judged? We really do live in SUCH a judgmental society. Not ashamed to say that my iPad goes to every meal with me and my small child, along with crayons and paper. Or is crayons and paper acceptable? I can't imagine you'd sit there judging a child was sat there 'like a zombie' for 20 minutes if they were using crayons and paper, but if it's electronic you judge? There is no reason behind your judging other than your clearly an overly critical person, which the world needs less of!

I'm going for lunch today in fact, to meet my friend with my DC. The iPad will come too and if he gets figety then that will come out of my bag Smile.

KoalaDownUnder · 13/04/2017 11:54

I can't imagine you'd sit there judging a child was sat there 'like a zombie' for 20 minutes if they were using crayons and paper, but if it's electronic you judge?

Get real. We all know that kids don't sit colouring for ages like zombies, without speaking to the other kids they're at lunch with.

People are hyper-defensive about 'electronics' because we all know that children completely switch off to the outside world when they're glued to bloody iPads.

KitKat1985 · 13/04/2017 11:55

I think you are being quite judgemental. I would do this with my 2 year old (or get out crayons & colouring book) as she's too young to be interested in adult conversations, and I'd actually like to talk to a friend sometimes without her whining the whole time. Ideally older child (say 5 upwards) should be able to go a short meal out without screens though and join in the conversation, but I wouldn't judge parents for using screen time if necessary. Especially if the kids are going to whine or get disruptive to other diners without them.

user1483705947 · 13/04/2017 11:58

Really? My son could happily sit there for 20 minutes drawing and colouring, didn't think that was unusual Confused. While he's doing that he's switched off to the outside world. It's exactly the same with the 'bloody ipad'.

BusterGonad · 13/04/2017 12:04

If I'm meeting a friend for a meal, and they didn't have children I'd take a few small toys, snacks and the iPad, if they had children my son liked I'd maybe leave the iPad. My son can and does eat food without the iPad but if I was with a friend without kids and he was being a pain I'd happily whip the iPad out and enjoy my friends company without a moaning child ruining my lunch. At home no iPad at the table, no excuses, he can moan all he likes as it's only us to hear it.

BeyondThePage · 13/04/2017 12:40

we don't have screens with us out and about, never have at mealtimes either, we are talkers...

Others do have them, and I do think it is sad sometimes, but I get over myself and think hey-ho we are all different.

ClemDanfango · 13/04/2017 12:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hazeyjane · 13/04/2017 13:27

we don't have screens with us out and about, never have at mealtimes either, we are talkers

Ds doesnt stop communicating because he is on his iPad. He just uses his other tablet to chat to us!

Having a screen at the table when out, doesn't preclude any conversation or other activity.

KoalaDownUnder · 13/04/2017 13:31

Some people seem to be missing the fact that the OP's own children were there.

Why would you not let the children interact with each other, instead of immediately whipping out iPads?

hazeyjane · 13/04/2017 13:33

Maybe the kids feel the same way about the OPs kids, as the OP feels about her 'friends'!

pinkie1982 · 13/04/2017 13:34

I do this as a last resort. We talk to each other, include my DS, encourage him to eat (fussy stage ATM), but once he has had enough he shouts and screams to 'GET OUT'. He is 22 months...we take toys, sticker books, crayons but if none of the pacifies him then out comes the phone with the kids app on it.
I want to eat my meal without it being cold, the other patrons want a fairly peaceful meal. I'm not saying I don't want my child to make a noise but I don't want people tutting as he has shattered their eardrums. Plus, I seem to find is he watches something he will start picking at his food rather than shouting NO and launching it across the floor.
What else to do apart from not go out to eat ever?

MummyStep123 · 13/04/2017 13:34

YA (kind of) BU?
Different people, each to their own and all that jazz.
Did you mention it to said friend at the dinner?

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