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Original poster

Children watching Peppa Pig on phones in restaurant

740 replies

SilverLeafClover · 12/04/2017 11:01

We went for lunch with friends yesterday at the Fifteen restaurant near Newquay. I only mention the place because it has an amazing view of the beach and the sea, which made it all the more surprising that as soon as we sat down, my friend and her husband handed their children (both NT, aged 4 and 6) two phones. For the duration of the meal, the children sat zombie-like and watched Peppa Pig on the screens.

I will admit, I judged.

The parents did not speak to their children and the children were just glued to the screens. My three children aged 8, 5, 3 are not angels but managed to sit through a short meal (main course and then ice cream, no staters, no coffees) without needing screens. I talked to my adult friends and kept an eye on my children, pointing out stuff that was happening outside, large boats passing by, surfers, dogs etc.

Am I am a Luddite? Or am I right to think unlimited access to screens during a meal out is not right?

OP posts:
treaclesoda · 13/04/2017 06:51

I love how people make the leap from ten minutes of iPad whilst waiting for a meal to parents who never speak to or interact with their children. It's a bit of an extreme conclusion to reach.

AwaywiththePixies27 · 13/04/2017 06:51

They will probably grow up to spend hours posting on internet forums...

itaintme Grin

modelcat · 13/04/2017 06:54

I agree with you OP - I don't think screens all through a meal are ok. We do give my son (20 months) something if we have ordered and the food is taking a long time and I've exhausted 'look there's a boat/dog/random dinosaur', playing peekaboo and he's starting to wriggle and whine. But we take it away as soon as the food arrives and he then eats as normal with the rest of us. I think judging parents for using screens full stop in a restaurant is harsh, as it can be a lifesaver if you arrive late and it's over their meal time and they are about to start screaming.

But not all the way through a meal - it's rude. Same as adults using mobiles while eating with others is rude.

AwaywiththePixies27 · 13/04/2017 06:58

treaclesoda I was just thinking that.

I limit screen time. For example. If at home. They're not allowed their tablets until after breakfast and only then for a certain amount of time. This Easter, we're all bloody knackered because we've been everywhere. Several parks. To the Farm. To the Lake. To the science place. I've done more interaction with the kids in the last two weeks and the longest adult interaction I've had was a five minute phone call with the mother. We do this regularly. The last time we went out for dinner (ages ago). DS got my phone for 10 minutes whilst we waited for the food. That's a ten minute snapshot of my life and I've no doubt I was judged for it but I don't really care all that much. As he's got SNs he doesn't do patience very well and I'd have probably have got judged by some who just see it as a kid who 'cant behave'.

Can't win em all

lottachocca · 13/04/2017 07:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

elkegel · 13/04/2017 07:17

But these threads never go well, because all those who do the same don't like the fact that some people judge their parenting.

If think people don't judge YOUR parenting you are deluded.

I'm incredulous that a 6 year old still likes Peppa Pig. Sounds like a classic Daily Mail hack thread to me.

treaclesoda · 13/04/2017 07:25

But these threads never go well, because all those who do the same don't like the fact that some people judge their parenting.

I can't say it bothers me that people judge my parenting. Because I'm also judging others. People can judge me all they for letting my kids play on the phone for ten minutes. But I judge people who walk their children round the tables in restaurants to entertain them, or play overly loud games of I Spy etc. They think I'm setting a bad example, I think they're setting a bad example. We're not going to agree.

mumsiedarlingrevolta · 13/04/2017 07:59

I find the children on screens in restaurants very depressing.

I do think they are different to colouring books etc because the children isolate themselves with the screens - I think this is when the children learn how to behave in a restaurant-and if, as a parent, you take your children out you need to show them how to behave.

So no phones for adults either. Its a time to chat-I would occasionally bring something in my bag to engage us all-a little trivia or something that would encourage conversation when they were little.

But I think the example that even made my DC realise how bad it was was when we were on holiday in a beautiful outdoor beach front restaurant. There was a DC they had hung around in the days and seen previously at meals-this DC was around 7yo-and he sat at the table playing on a hand held game thingy while his mother spoon fed him.
(No special needs etc-just absorbed that evening in his game)
She laughed and said "oh well-he likes it"

This is when they learn manners, patience and how to make conversation....I think it is a shame that they all miss out by being glued to a screen...

multivac · 13/04/2017 08:02

The owner of the restaurant said we could sneak the dog in.

Well then you didn't "sneak it in", did you? You asked the restaurant if you could bring it in; they said 'yes'. No big deal. And still no medal for the 'single parent, 2 kids, 1 dog no screens' thing - sorry.

MsGameandWatch · 13/04/2017 08:08

Why can't people just concentrate on their own kids, their own meal and mind their own business? Honestly it's beyond me why anyone would be depressed and sad about someone else's child looking at a screen for half an hour. Do you think it means the child has a sad, neglected life in all areas, all the time?

supermoon100 · 13/04/2017 08:11

Haha. If people just concentrated on their own kids, mumsnet wouldn't exist!

Edballsisoneniftydancer · 13/04/2017 08:14

Sorry, commenting as I go, only on page 2 so far, shoot me now, but this caught my eye from OP

I think parenting is complicated. I have my own blind spots, of course. But to me there are certain basics. This is one of them. Not sure why that means I think I am better than anyone else.

Totally wise words, especially the 'to me there are certain basics'. You accept that this is subjective, so it's not a huge leap to accept that other people have other basics.

You are not wrong to hold the views that you do but you at a leeeeeeetle bit U to judge others for not having the same view.

Back to page 2.

Edballsisoneniftydancer · 13/04/2017 08:20

And the food was delicious! Burrata with asparagus and pangritata was yum.

Okay now I am judging you OP Grin and finding it very hard to believe there was no performance parenting going on

Btw I have been to 15 in London and thought it was decidedly meh tbh. Marine views a bit thin on the ground too!

Oblomov17 · 13/04/2017 08:21

I'm with OP. I can't stand children or adults on phones and screens all the time, at restaurants or other places where they should be talking.

Edballsisoneniftydancer · 13/04/2017 08:27

I can assure you, there was no performance parenting!

Oh I think there was. Sorry OP that ship has sailed (did you see what I did there!!, though it doesn't really work when I'm 11 pages in arrears!)

Spikeyball · 13/04/2017 08:38

Perhaps I should try actual lazy parenting next time I take ds out somewhere. I could talk about boats whilst he climbs on tables, eats everyone else's food and slaps anyone that annoys him before having a big meltdown.

rookiemere · 13/04/2017 08:38

Jeez - it's always Peppa Pig isn't it I really like PP and wish I had an excuse to still watch it.

Quick lunch in Nandos or other low quality quick turnaround chain - then yes better to keep child off screen.

Long leisurely poncey, pretentious lunch, then number one rule is to do whatever you can not to annoy other diners. That may be pointing out the beach view ( which apparently ought to be fascinating enough to occupy a child for hours - mine is clearly deficient), letting them scribble on a pad, read a book or play on a screen.

If I was meeting friends I hadn't seen for ages, well I'd probably organise somewhere where food was served quickly and then where the DCs could go off and play afterwards, failing that then yes, once the initial pleasantries had taken place, the meal ordered and eaten, can't see the huge problem with using a screen.

My parents are ever so judgy about screens at the table, but I tend to discount their views after they chose a lovely, but completely child-unfriendly place for lunch where it took 2 hours to serve 3 courses.

I remember as an only child in the 70s/80s I used to read a lot at the dinner table as I was bored when we were on holiday - is that as bad, or is that viewed as totally different because it's a book not a screen ?

Edballsisoneniftydancer · 13/04/2017 08:38

Just like Maui.

Chipped you are a RASCAL!!!!!

Itaintme · 13/04/2017 08:45

A child reading a book would be ok on MN.All MN children can read war and peace at 4.

Edballsisoneniftydancer · 13/04/2017 08:46

And the food was delicious! Burrata with asparagus and pangritata was yum

Epiphany!! It has literally just occurred to me that you might be being ironic here OP At least I bloody well hope so!

hazeyjane · 13/04/2017 08:48

Well of course people who use screens in restaurants feel judged, isn't that the whole point if the thread. And then people can sit in their smuggy glow and shake their heads sadly at the poor children being ignored by their parents as their brains atrophy.

I try to teach my children that it isn't kind to judge people, because you can't know what goes on in peoples lives, and the most important thing is to do the right thing, be kind and be useful. Sitting in judgement of others is none of those things.

These threads remind me that when we are out in a restaurant, about half the people in there will be having their little judgy, smug glowy moment at our expense. I try not to care, we are doing our best. I know that it upsets dd1 though, she always knows when people glance our way with 'that' look, and I see her cringe

Edballsisoneniftydancer · 13/04/2017 08:48

And just to say, talking about dog breeds at the table....totally not on. A certain basic to me. A real emetic, at the table or anywhere else.

neveradullmoment99 · 13/04/2017 08:50

Tbh, they may have been considering other around them. I took my children to a restaurant recently. What i normally do is have them sitting without anything to begin with. If there are large spaces of time and i feel them getting restless then maybe i would let one of them go on my phone and they share it. When the meal comes i usually ask for them to get their main when we get starters and then when we get main, they get desserts. At the end if they are restless then they go on the phone again but usually by that time we are all ready to go if none of the adults want a dessert or coffee. Sometimes restaurants provide pencils and colouring for kids, which is great.
I wouldnt ever bring one of their devices unless i had a reason for wanting them to sit quietly throughout.

neveradullmoment99 · 13/04/2017 08:52

I do think watching kids on devices sitting through a family meal pretty sad. I do think its good to use as a tool to maintain the children if their is lots of waiting inbetween that can test even adults patience. At the end of the day, its about managing it and thinking also about others in a restaurant.

bottomhangingout · 13/04/2017 08:59

I've been to children's parties where children have been given iPads when it's time to sit for the birthday meal. I did think Wtf when that happened. Surely they can talk to their pals?