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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to want my goat?

237 replies

ChrisYoungFuckingRocks · 10/04/2017 22:38

OK, so I've read on here that apparently council tenants are getting free goats (on top of getting almost free housing)!

I feel this is massive discrimination against us private tenants who pay full rent. I demand equal rights, and I want my goat!!!

AIBU? 😂😂

OP posts:
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Original poster
ChrisYoungFuckingRocks · 13/04/2017 14:27

Actually, scrap the goat - I want to move to wales and get a dragon.

List - won't the dragons eat the goats and sheep? Hmm

OP posts:
MiladyThesaurus · 13/04/2017 14:42

You should see the goats in their tartan bunnets too.

MiladyThesaurus · 13/04/2017 14:45

Scottish government goats aren't so great at predicting election results though.

AIBU to want my goat?
AIBU to want my goat?
listsandbudgets · 13/04/2017 14:48

Well dragons have to eat something chris and it does seem that there may be a surplus of goats and sheeps roaming the balconies of tower blocks across the UK- dragons could be introduced as a method of population control

Original poster
ChrisYoungFuckingRocks · 13/04/2017 14:53

Haven't you read the thread? There seems to be a shortage of council goats. There does, however, seem to be a lot of llamas and alpacas. Do dragons eat those?

OP posts:
listsandbudgets · 13/04/2017 15:04

Well Chris as I said.... the dragons have to eat something... maybe the population cull is further advanced than we realise.

I'm sure they'll eat llamas and alpacas too but they may be a bit fluffy and get stuck in their throats?

I'm still waiting on my hippo and the hose has been running for hours luckily no water metre here

Astro55 · 13/04/2017 15:13

I'm still waiting on my hippo

There's been a Daily Fail outcry about the hippos - and C4 are asking hippo owners to be in some documentary to explain why they should still be allowed to keep them -

Patriciathestripper1 · 13/04/2017 18:31

Just off to Waitrose to check out the poo bags

AIBU to want my goat?
MyLittleBoyBlue · 13/04/2017 18:45

I can confirm the Waitrose Alpaca poobags are most definitely not organic. May I suggest you use the alpaca poo as fertiliser for your Cavalo Nero crop?

Those still on the goat waiting list might be interested to know that today I received a call offering a baby horse in place of our goat. I said no.

Original poster
ChrisYoungFuckingRocks · 13/04/2017 20:46

I can't believe this thread has carried on for 8 pages! lol

OP posts:
Patriciathestripper1 · 13/04/2017 23:00

lists and chris I've heard that there are some strange chaps using their dragons to try and pick up women...

AIBU to want my goat?
AstrantiaMajor · 14/04/2017 11:45

You have to be quick with regard to the dragon. Don't let it get too near the goat and just as it is nicely barbecued whip it away, slather it with sauce. Run as fast as you can. Slather the goat not the dragon.

Another good thing about Brexit, no more EU directives on open-air barbies

listsandbudgets · 14/04/2017 11:58

Patricia you should use your dragon to capture princesses not your common garden grown woman.. they are getting it all wrong

Original poster
ChrisYoungFuckingRocks · 14/04/2017 13:29

At least dragons are cheap to feed - I take it they mostly catch their own food. But what are the rules about dragons around kids (human and goat variety)?

OP posts:
Patriciathestripper1 · 14/04/2017 16:04

chris
Looked into this a bit. secretly covert a dragon and apparently as they fly free (and breath fire) you have to have third party, fire and theft but as a type of liability insurance when they steal stock/children or set fire to things.

Too fucking costly if you ask me!! Only for people in detached homes or Surrey.

Cherrysoup · 14/04/2017 17:32

I think I might be entitled to a goat AND a sheep (just because and I have a pond but I don't think a hippo would fit, sadly). I think I'd rather just the sheep. I hear goats are bastards to keep.

AIBU to want my goat?
HappyFlappy · 14/04/2017 19:27

Goats are bastards, all stop Cherrysoup. One ate my toddler's tee-shirt at a petting zoo 30 years ago. And the damn things are very fast and athletic - you can't catch the buggers to drag your children out of their (allegedly) herbivorous mouths.

My son wasn't eaten, but a perfectly good tee-shirt was and I've never forgotten the horror.

HappyFlappy · 14/04/2017 19:28

*full stop, not all stop.

I hate autocorrect

Original poster
ChrisYoungFuckingRocks · 14/04/2017 19:59

It's a good thing it wasn't a dragon then Happy - I'm sure it would've eaten more than just the t-shirt. Eeeeek.

OP posts:
Patriciathestripper1 · 14/04/2017 21:43

This was taken from a crime scene by Manchester police involving carnivorous goats in moss side.,, deadly once they turn apparently Shock

AIBU to want my goat?
EvilDoctorBallerinaDuck · 14/04/2017 21:44

All things considered, I'll apply for the goats. Far more useful than TVs!

HappyFlappy · 14/04/2017 22:29

Stripper

THAT'S HER! THAT'S THE GOAT THAT ET MY PFB'S TEE-SHIRT!!!!

I WOULD RECOGNISE THAT MALEVOLENT STRIPED FACE AND TRIUMPHANT GRIN ANYWHERE!!!!!!!!!

And now she and her Evil Henchgoats are devouring Innocent Children all over Moss Side . . . Shock

MiladyThesaurus · 14/04/2017 22:50

Be glad they aren't free council geese. They're vicious and unrelenting.

You have to really know how to work the system to get yourself a goose, of course.

TeenageCentaurMortificado · 14/04/2017 23:26

Flappy didn't you used to be a dragon in Mortificado land?

TheElephantofSurprise · 14/04/2017 23:47