AIBU to want my goat?

[ChrisYoungFuckingRocks]

OK, so I've read on here that apparently council tenants are getting free goats (on top of getting almost free housing)!

I feel this is massive discrimination against us private tenants who pay full rent. I demand equal rights, and I want my goat!!!

AIBU? 😂😂

finola 8ft by 3ft?! Good god woman you should ask for two!!

Our local school has had to insist that parents don't bring their goats onto the playground.

NameChanger22: no you're getting it wrong. Free goats should be universal. Means testing of any sort is divisive and expensive. Everyone should get one.

Maybe they could send it in the post alongside you NI card.

Anyone seen the screaming goat on YouTube? So so funny.

Well, we have some goats roaming free with the kids on our council estate, but I think the council ran out - they only have hamsters left.

Ooh, I'd love a goat, but not on benefits (hmmph)! Actually, I arranged to take on 2 goats from a man in a pub a couple of years ago, after a few too many. DH was not happy when I joyfully announced on my return home that said man was delivering 2 goats in the morning! Sadly (thasnkfully??) He never showed up (although I sat in cringing all day!)

Where do I stand? I'm a private tenant on WTC.

evil not a hope I'm afraid,

Our Council, always on the ball when it comes to keeping us informed have issued the following statement.

Allocation;

1 goat free to all Council and H/A tenants
1 llama to all home owners in terraced houses
1 Alpaca to all home owner in Detached Houses

Hope this clarifies

Well who's paying for all this exactly? Can we vote to leave the goats?

You get one with DLA too y'know. Apparently some people think you just need to pop in to your GP, tell them you're an introvert, get an ASD diagnosis and Bob's your uncle. Or Betty's your Nanny Goat.

On a serious note I had to pop into a Jobcentre to pick up a form for a client and was highly amused and fascinated in equal measure by a woman who was also waiting that was informing the other customers? very loudly about what their rights were as a recipient of JSA. She had just been to Florida with her children and all you had to do was go up to the counter, tell them you and your children are so stressed because you had no money on benefits and then they would book you an all expenses holiday to Disney Land. She was deadly serious too, her finger was pointing and she was acting like some sort of authority No mention of goats though [DM sadface]

Ooh, an Alpaca! I have always wanted an Alpaca! Although, since technically the building society own around half the house, do they retain half of the Alpaca? please don't make me cut it in half, I think it would make a horrible mess of the carpets

They won't make you cut in half. They will, however, charge you a fortune to insure it. Make you take out a Protection plan in case you lose your job and can't feed it and increase your mortgage payments. Then letters will arrive addressed to Mr Al Paca trying to sell credit cards and holiday insurance to him.

But what about us who bought our own goat? Will we still get a free one?

My neighbour found one yesterday tied up an an accessible loo there's more space in there than a regular loo

My neighbour has parked he goat in my Designated GoatParking Space. I kid you not.

We need a diagram please

We're in a semi, Astrantia. How do we stand for our free ungulate?

Can you block his goat in with your alpaca, Astrantia? Or do you need it to get to work?

Have you no penguin bollards?

Use your DH's shaver to clip an offensive message into its coarse, bristly hair. And tie a banner to its horns with a "wanker" slogan on it.

I had to look up Ungulate and if it was up to me I would give you a Giraffe for sheer impressive knowledge.

however, it is not up me so I will give you the council ruling.

Sub section. 111 clause v replacing clause g of 19/3/17

Owners of semi-detached houses should submit a claim in triplicate when applying for Unglate. The Ungulate for tenants Is to provide for something to lean against whilst having a fag. For terraced homes it is for something to barbeque and for detached homes for the provision of milk for Agastachiia and Athos because of allergies. Council has taken the view that Semi detached resident may have the Ungulate as a pet, providing that it does not produce u Galatea parking disputes on shared drives.

Could be worth pointing out also that Sub-section 965 cvdef states that Ungulate poo must not be put into recycling bins.

Sadly I do not qualify for an Alpaca. I live in a terraced house which I bought under right to buy from the council I do aspire to an Alpaca but would be very happy with goats.

Next door's goat has started bullying my goat should I call 101 and report?

MIL has attempted to take our goat for a walk - she had her chance walking her own goat, now she's brought it a lead to keep at her house!! AIBU in that I don't want her to walk out goat?

I think it will be more a council matter Itrust. You'll have to fill in 10 forms in triplicate and sell your soul to satan before they help you.

I just found my NDNs goat eating my camellias! ALL of them! Can I shoot it I don't have an illegal 9mm.

I opted for the large screen TV instead of a goat. Being disabled I get two of course.

I misread. I'm entitled to a llama too. I wonder if Pet plan will add it to the cat insurance? I wonder if the cat will tolerate the llama, as she fights with next door's... the cat was here first. Can I park the llama using my blue badge, do you think?