to share a pubic hair / sex life conundrum with you?!

[meladeso]

Opinions gratefully received on this weird one. Massive over-share / TMI warning!

DH is massively awesome, lucky to have v happy marriage, v evenly matched in temperament and so on, and he's great with kids / house / etc. zero complaints from me on any front.

He's also very direct and honest, which I've got used to over the years, but sometimes it means he says things you might not want to hear! he never means it unkindly, but still...

So, a while back whilst having a frank chat about sex (and honestly, lack thereof since second DC arrived last summer) and a good laugh about how we need to get back on the horse more often, so to speak, etc etc. he came out with the confession that he found my pubic hair off putting in terms of oral sex.

We've never been at it like rabbits, but clearly used to be more than we are now. I am not very hairy really, and i do have the odd trim around bikini line etc. but I have v sensitive skin.

to shave regularly (which i did in younger days) leaves me itchy, sore and with an unattractive rash.
to wax is a faff, a bit unpleasant, and besides, surely if you do it regularly, you have a couple of weeks every few weeks where you've got loads of regrowth anyway, right?!

i had a comedy feminist rant back at him about pubic hair is natural, there for a reason, and so on (see Cameron Diaz for more on this ) and told him the above about it leaving me uncomfortable.

he sort of understood, but he also was a bit shoulder shrug, and basically saying he didn't enjoy it au naturel, so.....

not an ultimatum as such, but left me understanding that he wasn't likely to go down there unless it was well pruned.

i just don't know how to feel about it.

Part of me feels hurt and offended and frankly a bit cross that he wants me to do something i don't want to do to suit him. Let me be clear though - he has certainly not put it like that, nor mentioned it since. I bet he hasn't given it a second thought.

However, i also certainly don't want to think he finds it off putting and either try to make him do something he doesn't want to do, or just go without for the rest of our lives.
the thought of getting busy in some way with something that I found a turn off myself is awful, so why would i expect him to be any different?

Am gagging just at the thought of shove (so aptly named) and her sword swallowing skills. Never in a million years did I think anyone in RL practised Deep Throat. Or should that be

He's being honest lol yes it's a bit hurtful I guess though x

Why not put a pair of knickers on and just shave any bits which peek out, as it were? Maybe a bit of overlap iyswim. DH could do the same. It's not on to put up with being itchy and uncomfortable.

If you don't want to go down on someone because of a few hairs, you are really not that into sex!

What larry said. I agree. He's obviously actually not that into oral. Personally, I think oral sex should come as standard. I couldn't be with someone who wouldn't go down on me because I was too hairy! I think it's pretty mysogenistic actually, and honestly, how many men would really wax/shave on their partner's request?

I either laser, wax or shave. DH doesn't much care although he's not keen on baldness down there. He's more like the previous poster who said he's just happy to be allowed access to down there and he's got a full on facial beard so I don't think he'd dare complain as I have to kiss his hairy face on a daily basis.

You could just trim the hair with a trimmer thing so it's not so long if you want him to go down there or not if you don't.

My bloke grew a beard a few months ago (when did the 70's come back!), when I said I didn't like it ( totally totally HATE it) and asked him to shave it off, he got all feminist on me about being told what he could wear etc. Now, neither of us shaves....

You don't have to tidy up down there but also if you don't your husband doesn't have to go down on you, your the one that has changed and he doesn't like the change so I wouldn't be expecting him to get over it.

Maybe just tell you you can do other stuff without him having to go down there.

My husband says to check his browser history. He is convinced this is porn-related.

I also have the same problem as you of having very sensitive skin and if I shave or wax down there I get soo sore and get a rash.
I've found the things that work for me are veet, but it has to be the one for sensitive skin, the normal one stings. And also a product I found called 'tend skin' which I can dab on after shaving and it stops me getting a rash.
I only do it sometimes really though for husband even though he likes the hair, he likes me doing something different sometimes and also for being able to wear a bikini/ swimsuit without my bikini line being ridiculously angry red. Before I found the solutions above I had to wear swim shorts!

I am intrigued and a little concerned by some peoples ideas here that he should be doing something sexually he doesnt like. If he was happy to do oral previously and now doesn't because of the hair, why should this be anything other than his choice?

Scottish - possibly because many people posting haven't really read and understood the OP, and others are projecting their own experiences with men and completely missing the point.

Imagine if a man had posted this saying that he had stopped tending to his man-garden and his DP would no longer give him oral. I can't help but think many of the responses would be "Well, why should she put your hairy, minging crotch anywhere near her face, you horrid, lazy twat. Go and have a trim!"

I was looking on Amazon, they have a beard trimmer with different settings by Babylis for £10 which is really good. So you could compromise so it's not Epping Forest down there

Another tip, where you shave in the bikini and bum area, I don't think it's been mentioned, but I know if you're going for silky smooth you have to do that area which is intimate. Apply either sudocreme or bepanthen, that should keep it smoother for longer and prevent and spots, chafing, ingrowing hairs.

Keep and eye out for early stages of ingrowing hairs, as if you can pluck it at that stage, it's easier than when it's grown beneath the surface

But whatever you have to hand, so any nappy rash cream, should do the job. It stops it feeling uncomfy.