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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think working from home means working not looking after the children

91 replies

Sofabitch · 10/04/2017 13:49

Grrr. DH has today off work. It's the school holidays. I checked yesterday if he would be Okay with me working from home whilst he looked after the children. He said yes absolutely fine. But he stuck his head in about 2.5 hours ago to say he was going to the Diy store. I said awesome.. assuming he was taking Dcs with. But no he didn't!

AIBU to think this was super inconsiderate of him.

Dcs arent little 8/11/16 so not majorly demanding but the 8 year old still requires attention and has been constantly popping into ask me for things until I gave up and came to sit with them.

They are booked in with child care the rest of the week. But I didnt book today as DH was off!

I can work out if I'm being irrational to be super upset at this.

OP posts:
Original poster
Sofabitch · 10/04/2017 13:51

Just too add.. my.16 year old has a broken leg atm so isnt able to look after the younger ones.

OP posts:
Gizlotsmum · 10/04/2017 13:52

Nope. Working from home is exactly that not working around attending to your children's needs. Tell dh that it is not acceptable

Kiroro · 10/04/2017 13:53

No way would I have riksed WFH with 3 kids in the house!

2014newme · 10/04/2017 13:53

Yanbu. I work from home. Kids are at childcare. I would have told him to take them.

SquinkiesRule · 10/04/2017 13:56

I'd text and ask why he left them behind as you are at work and not able to see to the little one.

KatsutheClockworkOctopus · 10/04/2017 13:59

YANBU. I occasionally see flexible working request where people want to work from home whilst still looking after babies/children, which I think are incompatible.

Cheby · 10/04/2017 13:59

YANBU. The only time I work from home with DD here is when she is sick and I have no other option. So that usually means I stick CBeebies on for her and stay on top of emails and phone calls, then when she goes to bed I will work properly through to midnight or beyond so I've actually done my contracted hours.

SellFridges · 10/04/2017 14:02

Although I generally agree with you, if he is just popping out and the kids are already occupied then I don't see a problem really.

Karanka · 10/04/2017 14:03

The organisation I work for won't approve WFH as part of a flexible working pattern if you're looking after children while working. If it's on a one-off basis then it's at the discretion of your line manager - I've worked for one who would allow and one who wouldn't, and I think that the one who wouldn't allow it had the right idea.

SellFridges · 10/04/2017 14:03

Ah, missed the bit where he went out 2.5 hours ago!

FaFoutis · 10/04/2017 14:05

I'm working from home today while looking after 3 DC younger than yours OP. I have done it for at least 10 years now. It's not unusual in my line of work.

ImAlwaysLikeThis · 10/04/2017 14:07

FaFoutis are you a childminder? Are your hours full-time?

whattodowiththepoo · 10/04/2017 14:08

YANBU I have said this before on mumsnet, we no longer encourage people with families to work from home at my work.

NightWanderer · 10/04/2017 14:08

He's been out for 2.5 hours??

Did you talk to him about him providing childcare today? He might have made plans to catch up with DIY assuming the kids would be out.

Slightlyperturbedowlagain · 10/04/2017 14:10

It certainly does. Working at home is not compatible with an 8 year old at home at all. An 11 year old on their own here with me while I worked would be ok for an hour or two. My DH is very good at looking after the DCs while I work but they still can't help just rushing in to tell me who has done what or to appeal (unsuccessfully obviously) against a parenting decision DH has made that they don't like. So I avoid working at home the days DH is doing the childcare if I can. Tell him the evening shift is his too to make the time back up?

ollieplimsoles · 10/04/2017 14:10

The two are not compatible at all, I work from home and look after my toddler, I get a bit done during her nap times and when she goes to bed im easily up til midnight working to catch up. Dh helps out when he gets home. You cant work from home and look after kids! Xxx

Stripeymug · 10/04/2017 14:11

Crikey I am wfh and have been on loads of conference calls today, I would be mad with my DH in your shoes as I wouldn't have been able to work. Message him to come back? B&Q/Homebase is open until 9pm

Cottongusset · 10/04/2017 14:11

Working from home should mean just that - not looking after the children or popping on a load of washing etc.

I know people who "work from home" and they just take the piss.

carabos · 10/04/2017 14:12

Text him and ask why the DC are at home alone when he's meant to be looking after them. When he replies that it's ok because you're there, tell him you're at work.

Starlighter · 10/04/2017 14:12

That's cheeky! He should've taken the youngest with him at least. Or waited for your lunchtime to pop out for an hour, max. Call him and order him back asap!

FaFoutis · 10/04/2017 14:13

I'm a lecturer, more than full time. I have jobs at different universities so work mainly from home. I have brought up 3 children while working, really it isn't that unusual.

My dh works from home one day a week and that's my main teaching day. His company are fine with WFH while children are present.

FaFoutis · 10/04/2017 14:14

You cant work from home and look after kids! Xxx

Well I don't know what the fuck I've been doing for the last 10 years then.

NightWanderer · 10/04/2017 14:21

If he was just popping out for 30 mins I think it would be ok but 2.5 hours is a huge chunk of the day.

FaFoutis · 10/04/2017 14:23

OP I can see why you are upset - your DH is not showing he values what you do. He had the option to make your life easier (by taking the dc) but he didn't take it. That would piss me off too.

FataliePorkman · 10/04/2017 14:23

FaFoutis

Here's a Wine. Your getting very animated so clearly in need of one.

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