Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WWUD? Random puking teenager in our kitchen

809 replies

chastenedButStillSmiling · 09/04/2017 01:03

We were out this eve, but not esp late (home by 10:30). DD has brought mates back. We know some not all.

They've been drinking booze I've provided (but was supposed to be more than one evening).

DD is 15, yr 10.

One of the kids chucked up. She's fine. She was here on a sleepover,m her parents aware. I know where she lives (20 mins away) but don't know her parents or how to contact them.

I've put her to bed, on her front. Sick bucket and water easily to hand.

What should I do?

OP posts:
arghpedrevan · 09/04/2017 09:11

8x bottles of lager and 2x bottles of cider would not be enough to get 9 teenagers drunk (assuming they're the glass bottles of around a pint each). I wouldn't say that's a ridiculous amount for a group of teens.

So either this teen snaffled more than all the others or she has a very low tolerance to alcohol. Does your DD know how much her friend drank?

MsJamieFraser · 09/04/2017 09:12

Yes I will.

I will however get permission from the parents, as my parents done with us!.

AlexanderHamilton · 09/04/2017 09:13

I had assumed they were the large litre bottles.

Orlantina · 09/04/2017 09:13

The law says under 18's can drink at home or in another private premises. - the OP has don't nothing illegal

Isn't there a law against supplying alcohol for under 18s?

CrowyMcCrowFace · 09/04/2017 09:14

Even if not one of the other 8 kids touched a drop, which sounds highly unlikely, the OP reports only 4 bottles of weak lager & a drop of prosecco gone if I recall. That wouldn't have made me puke at 15 (that usually took a bottle of QC sherry...).

Someone has smuggled something considerably harder in. Probably, but not necessarily, puking girl.

& this is EXACTLY what is going to happen if you allow teenagers to drink.

If it were me (few years off with my own kids, but teach teenagers), I'd probably have a few beers on offer.

BUT it would be a clearly stated house rule that no visiting kids were offered a drink, unless I knew the parents personally & knew they were on the same page as me. No hard stuff & no smuggled booze - if I don't know it's in the house & being consumed, not ok.

Known guest openly bringing their own couple of beers ok, vodka in a bag - no.

Any breaches eg. Puking random, & the parties would be suspended, & I'd be tracking down the other parents to tell them: 'Your child was at my house last night, I'm sorry to say they were drinking, & I don't know if you allow this.'

If they wanted to be furious with me, fair enough, although I'd point out that I did have house rules & these had been broken by the kids.

Also, in these circumstances (not knowing the parents or how to contact them) not just the alcohol but also the girl would have had to be smuggled in. Because I would BE IN THE HOUSE & would have been aware my dd had a guest I didn't know, so would have been in to chat to them & be Buzz Kill Mum by insisting there was no drinking going on as I didn't know if other parents would allow.

Sorry OP & I bet you've had a grim night of it - but dick move by you there.

WilburIsSomePig · 09/04/2017 09:14

Well, with respect Jamie, that's not the 'same route' as the OP, as she didn't get permission from parents, so that's a massive difference.

beekeeper17 · 09/04/2017 09:16

I hope the girl is ok and if there is one good thing to come out of this mess I hope it's that it has given you a wake up call and will put an end to you buying alcohol for your child and her friends, and promoting the idea that a good healthy social life means drinking alcohol.

Surely you would have contact details for the parents of any child staying at your house? Anything could happen (aside from the possibility of you giving them alcohol poisoning) and it's something I would assume you would make sure you would have.

I hope that you took responsibility for the situation and didn't go to bed last night but instead stayed up to keep an eye on the Intoxicated child and ensure she took some water throughout the night and was safe. And hopefully this morning you are having a responsible chat to them both about what happened and why it won't be allowed to happen again under your roof.

What's done is done and hopefully some good will come out of this situation and this won't happen again as next time things could be much more serious, count yourself lucky that you didn't have to explain to this child's parents why they needed to collect her from hospital.

This must be one of the most shocking threads I have read on here.

BarbarianMum · 09/04/2017 09:16

Never too early to impress on kids that the only way to have fun with your mates is with a few drinks on hand. Jesus. Sad

Maybe a few wraps of coke next time OP? Got to stay on message.

Shadowboy · 09/04/2017 09:16

I used to lie to my parents in year 11 (aged 16) I'd tell them I was having a sleepover at a friend's and in truth we had been out at the local pub.

My parents were very restrictive over alcohol (dad is Muslim) so I rebelled. I kind of wish they had let me have some at home so I wouldn't have had to lie and it could have been so dangerous.

I do think the the OP should have stayed home with the kids if alcohol was allowed to ensure they weren't getting past the stage of tipsy.

Sugarpiehoneyeye · 09/04/2017 09:16

Do her parents know that you were supplying alcohol ?
Their daughter is under age, they may well be incredibly displeased.
It does sound as if she is over the worst.
If you want to contact her parents, then simply ask her for the code.

smellylittleorange · 09/04/2017 09:17

Are you buying alcohol for your daughter and friends so she is more popular with her friends OP?

gamerchick · 09/04/2017 09:17

Man it's pointy sticks with an electric current running through them in here. Bravo OP Grin

Feed and water her this morning then send her home.

Bluntness100 · 09/04/2017 09:17

It is safer and more controllable if they do it at home

How exactly is it safer and more controllable if no adult is present and they are simply thrown a load of booze. It's no different to drinking in the streets or the park. It's only safer if an adult supervises which is not the case here. That's the whole point. Hmm

frumpet · 09/04/2017 09:18

Honestly OP I think you need to being having a chat with DD about bringing people back to the house when you are not there , one person was invited for the sleepover , now either 'sick' girl drank the 4 lagers and 2 ciders all by herself , the 9 of them shared those 6 drinks , or someone else brought something else . If you insist on letting her have alcohol , then I would be a lot more prescriptive about what she actually could have , so ' DD you can have 2 of the 2% lagers at the BBQ tonight ' IYSWIM ?

Shakirasma · 09/04/2017 09:19

Allowing my teenage daughter to drink alcohol in small amounts in some circumstances such as a party is my choice and a good introduction to social drinking.

However if I found out that another parent had provided my 15 yo DD with alcohol without my knowledge when they were at a sleepover I would be fucking livid. How dare you think you have the right do do that! Who the hell do you think you are?

MsJamieFraser · 09/04/2017 09:19

Isn't there a law against supplying alcohol for under 18s?

Only on licenced premises.

1nsanityscatching · 09/04/2017 09:22

General consensus among my dc's friends' parents and myself when they were younger (sixth form age though rather than y10) was that each parent only supplied as much alcohol as they would be happy for their child to drink. That a parent was present to supervise closely and parents would be called to collect anyone considered "drunk". Oh and parties were occasional and not the norm. We never had any problems that way.
I would be incredibly unhappy to learn OP left them unsupervised, hadn't checked previously with me that alcohol was allowed and hadn't contacted me when my dc was drunk and vomiting.

StealthPolarBear · 09/04/2017 09:26

MrsJF I'm fairly sure it's a crime to buy alcohol to give to an underage person

HermioneJeanGranger · 09/04/2017 09:28

MrsJF I'm fairly sure it's a crime to buy alcohol to give to an underage person

Perfectly legal to buy alcohol for consumption on private premises so long as the child is 5 years old or older.

Nojellyintrifle · 09/04/2017 09:31

You didn't leave them 'all night' you were back by 10:30. It sounds as if alcohol was smuggled in.

It is not illegal to supply people under the age of 18 in the home.

I doubt that op will be back now for help after some of these helpful comments.

badabing36 · 09/04/2017 09:32

When I was 14 and most of my friends were 15 a friend's mum left her home alone for the night.

We got our oldest looking friend to buy us all alcopops and we got shitfaced. We spilt alcopop on the cream carpet, we went to the playground in the early hours of the morning to have a cry, and one of us lost our virginity. I'm pretty sure someone puked too. We we're some of the tamest kids at our school.

Don't worry op, you were back by 10:30, you didn't give them hard booze, and the worst that happened is someone was sick. I wouldn't tell the parents if they're likely to kick off. Kids that age will always find a way to get drunk and do stupid stuff. Your way of supervising sound much better than them drinking in the park etc

StealthPolarBear · 09/04/2017 09:32

So why were there those sad face stories where parents with small children were stopped buying alcohol in the supermarkets? What law does that relate to

Nojellyintrifle · 09/04/2017 09:33

Shadowboy we know some teens like that, their parents have not a clue and they are so proud of their parenting Grin

MsJamieFraser · 09/04/2017 09:33

drink aware

I have personal alcohol licence, its not illegal to buy alcohol to then give it to under 18s to drink on private premise, however it is illegal to buy alcohol on behalf of under 18's (basically you cant buy drink for someone outside a corner shop and hand it straight over to them.

Its a very complex, but also simple.

Bestthingever · 09/04/2017 09:34

Were the other parents aware that you were supplying alcohol?

Swipe left for the next trending thread