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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WWUD? Random puking teenager in our kitchen

809 replies

chastenedButStillSmiling · 09/04/2017 01:03

We were out this eve, but not esp late (home by 10:30). DD has brought mates back. We know some not all.

They've been drinking booze I've provided (but was supposed to be more than one evening).

DD is 15, yr 10.

One of the kids chucked up. She's fine. She was here on a sleepover,m her parents aware. I know where she lives (20 mins away) but don't know her parents or how to contact them.

I've put her to bed, on her front. Sick bucket and water easily to hand.

What should I do?

OP posts:
greathat · 09/04/2017 09:35

My brother ended up in a coma after downing spirits at a house party. Id be fucking furious. You don't buy children alcohol. You do don't knowingly leave them unsupervised with alcohol. Think you got off very lightly here!

Nojellyintrifle · 09/04/2017 09:35

To save posters from google

www.drinkaware.co.uk/alcohol-facts/alcohol-and-the-law/the-law-on-alcohol-and-under-18s/

Groovee · 09/04/2017 09:37

I started to allow my Dd under my supervision alcohol at 15. I did provide 2 small cans of cider last year to get friends having spoken to all parents for approval. If one had said no then I would have bought none.

I'm trying to teach Dd who is now 17 to drink sensibly and not be like her dad who does binge drink. I am teatotal so I want Dd to learn sensibly.

I would see how she is this morning and find out how much she had. It could be one of the others brought something stronger.

StealthPolarBear · 09/04/2017 09:37

Exactly. And it sounds like the op bought these specific bottles to give to her dd and friends. Hence illegal

Nanny0gg · 09/04/2017 09:37

Don't worry op, you were back by 10:30, you didn't give them hard booze, and the worst that happened is someone was sick. I wouldn't tell the parents if they're likely to kick off. Kids that age will always find a way to get drunk and do stupid stuff. Your way of supervising sound much better than them drinking in the park etc

Supervising? She went out and left them! And if you don't think the girl's parents will notice how dreadful she will look when she gets home...

But this is the parent who thought it right to send her 15 year-old to bed at 9pm every night.

How can anyone be so extreme in their parenting rules?

OnionKnight · 09/04/2017 09:40

I was under the impression that what the OP has done isn't illegal because it was on private premises?

Either way she's a fucking idiot and I refuse to believe that she teaches parenting classes.

Nojellyintrifle · 09/04/2017 09:41

Grin Stealth, no, it is not illegal. It's quite clear.

MsJamieFraser · 09/04/2017 09:41

No SPB, it isn't illegal.

It was in private premises.

P1nkP0ppy · 09/04/2017 09:41

Needless to say op has vanished Hmm
As the adult you're wholly responsible for all of this and as for providing alcohol and leaving them to their own devices that's ridiculous for someone who apparently delivers parenting classes.
I'm hoping no drugs were involved (not that you'd know of course) and that the girl's recovered. I would be absolutely furious were it one of my DCs.
I never allowed sleepovers without knowing a contact number for the parents either, wtf would you have done if she'd choked and ended up in A+E?

StealthPolarBear · 09/04/2017 09:43

So why the sad face asda stories then? If they can sell to adults who can totally legally then distribute it to teenagers what's the issue

Nojellyintrifle · 09/04/2017 09:43

The Police have the power to:
Confiscate alcohol from someone, no matter what their age, if they believe it has been, or will be drunk by, someone under 18 in a public place

The clue here is public place, not a private home.

This has happened on every drinking thread here since 2002.

Honeybee79 · 09/04/2017 09:43

I hope the girl is ok.

I had a v "liberal" childhood and am myself a pretty relaxed parent but unless you (a) had permission from the other parents to allow them to have a drink and (b) were around to supervise then this is really not good.

If it were a case of all the girls sitting round together and having pizza and a beer each with you in attendance and their parents were ok about it, then great. Anything else . . . Confused

MsJamieFraser · 09/04/2017 09:43

In order for me to get my personal licence, I had to take my personal judgment out of it, because if I didn't there was no way on earth I would pass the exam. Grin Hmm

Paul78 · 09/04/2017 09:44

There was alcohol provided and the girl's were left unsupervised.

If you want to get technical with the law MsJamieFraser, then how could the OP ensure that the girls didn't go off private property with the alcohol supplied by the OP?

It's also negligent to have unsupervised children drinking alcohol without a contact number and without getting consent off other parents.

If the OP decided she wanted to get my daughter drunk without telling me and then hid the fact because she was to scared to inform me, she would regret it.

StealthPolarBear · 09/04/2017 09:44

" It is against the law1 2:To sell alcohol to someone under 18 anywhere.For an adult to buy or attempt to buy alcohol on behalf of someone under 18."

Seems clear to me.

ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged · 09/04/2017 09:44

How is she op?

Nojellyintrifle · 09/04/2017 09:45

MsJamieFraser don't be getting technical with the law you upstart.

Or rather, don't be posting the actual facts Wink.

You should be shrieking and joining in with the hysteria, added bonus for vague threats against the parent.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 09/04/2017 09:45

Ok, I always looks at these situations like this: if this were a school trip (abroad or at least overnight) and happened when the teachers were in charge, would I be angry with the teachers? And would the teachers get in trouble? Because this is the position that you are in as the "responsible adult" where other children are concerned

Look at it this way: How would you feel if your son or daughter were in this position at that age because a TEACHER bought and supplied them with alcohol and let them drink it all unsupervised. You would rightly be horrified. The teacher would probably get the sack.

Nojellyintrifle · 09/04/2017 09:46

Oh well Stealth, I really can't help you any more on that then.

If you pick out some parts without the rest of the law part.

cardibach · 09/04/2017 09:47

Whatever the rights and wrongs (and I think all bases have been covered here by a variety of posters) I'm surprised (and as a teacher a bit annoyed) to see at least two posters say they'd be reporting it to the school. What the fuck has it got to do with school? It's holidays, it was at a private event! Schools have enough to deal with, thanks very much.

ShowMePotatoSalad · 09/04/2017 09:47

She was here on a sleepover,m her parents aware. I know where she lives (20 mins away) but don't know her parents or how to contact them.

Hmm, so the 15 year old told you her parents knew where she was but you don't actually know that for sure considering your haven't spoken to her parents directly. For a sleepover I think that's a really, really bad idea. She's a child.

I won't reiterate what others have said about the alcohol as hopefully you've now got the picture about how much of a bad idea THAT was.

But what I will say is that I get the impression you are trying to be such a cool mum to your daughter that you're not actually doing what you should. You seem to think supporting your daughter's social life means facilitating underage drinking.

Hmm
user1483387154 · 09/04/2017 09:47

Where I live the legal drinking age is 15 so that may skew my view. People here that age still go out and get completely pissed, it does not encourage safe drinking that they have access to it earlier.

You should not have children drinking alcohol in your house without their parents permission.
You should not have left them alone in the house drinking alcohol.
You MUST tell the parents the state she got into

You should have placed the child in the recovery position and stayed with her.
As soon as you knew the child was so drunk she was being sick, you should have called her parents (wake the child to get the password) it is then up to the parents if they want to collect her or leave her in your 'care' when you did not even stay with them whilst the drinking was happening. I personally as a parent would not trust you to look after my child overnight, the fact that you wont stay with her to ensure she is ok is disgusting.

If it is true that you deliver parenting courses I am very very concerned and it makes your behaviour even worse. Your actions last night affected the health of another child. This is not acceptable. You have been completely irresponsible.

MsJamieFraser · 09/04/2017 09:47

SPB, Because they where being over cautious, employers and employees get personally fined (on the spot) and face prosecution if they supplied drink to under 18's.

Paul78 · 09/04/2017 09:49

In addition:

www.gov.uk/law-on-leaving-your-child-home-alone

'it’s an offence to leave a child alone if it places them at risk.'

Leaving children alone, with alcohol, where someone has been violently sick, I would say 'places them at risk'.

StealthPolarBear · 09/04/2017 09:49

So isn't what the op has done also classed as supplying drinks to under 18?

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