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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

WWUD? Random puking teenager in our kitchen

809 replies

chastenedButStillSmiling · 09/04/2017 01:03

We were out this eve, but not esp late (home by 10:30). DD has brought mates back. We know some not all.

They've been drinking booze I've provided (but was supposed to be more than one evening).

DD is 15, yr 10.

One of the kids chucked up. She's fine. She was here on a sleepover,m her parents aware. I know where she lives (20 mins away) but don't know her parents or how to contact them.

I've put her to bed, on her front. Sick bucket and water easily to hand.

What should I do?

OP posts:

Howlongtilldinner · 09/04/2017 07:20

I would like to know if my child was being ill at someone's house. I would also not be very happy about it. I've never 'supplied' my now DS19 with alcohol when he was younger, but it hasn't stopped him going out and getting plastered!

Do you all keep a padlock on your drinks cabinets? Or maybe you don't keep alcohol indoors? Teens always push the boundaries.

I don't agree with parents 'supplying' underage teens with alcohol, let me make that perfectly clear, but reading some of these posts, the vitriol and foul language used, I wouldn't want my DC at your houses full stop! You need to seek anger management help as well as parenting classes. God only knows what your DC are like!

OP, if you happen to read this, I hope she has recovered and is OK.

QODRestYeMerryGentlemen · 09/04/2017 07:20

Wtaf?
Is this true?
Nutso

allegretto · 09/04/2017 07:23

Wow. I would be furious if my daughter was knowingly given alcohol by a friend's parent without my knowledge. I would probably report you to the police.

HermioneJeanGranger · 09/04/2017 07:25

user1489226029 · 09/04/2017 07:25

What concerns me op is when you suggest to have a decent social life there must be alcohol involved and buying them drink because it's the school holidays . This is conditioning your daughter to think alcohol is an important part of every occasion which it isint. Admittedly I have seen what alcoholism does to decent people so I am a bit twitchy when it comes to it. However this culture of alcohol must be involved to have a good time worries me.

WhataHexIgotinto · 09/04/2017 07:28

If you choose to supply alcohol to your own child, that's your business.

If you choose to supply alcohol to other peoples children, then that is most definitely not your call. You have no idea if their parents would be happy about this for dozens of reasons, not least the fact that they are under age.

And now you have a drunk, puking child and you won't even call her parents. I don't quite know what you are trying to achieve OP. Cool mum status?

As for your claim that you 'deliver parenting classes'? Nope.

WhataHexIgotinto · 09/04/2017 07:31

Do you all keep a padlock on your drinks cabinets? Or maybe you don't keep alcohol indoors? Teens always push the boundaries.

I am trying to teach my kids to have a sensible attitude to alcohol, it doesn't have to be all or nothing. My problem with the OP is that she has taken it upon herself to supply booze to a bunch of kids that she doesn't know, I'm not sure how you can condone that.

TheSnowFairy · 09/04/2017 07:31

op you've delivered parenting classes?!

Cern · 09/04/2017 07:38

Complete over reactions on this thread! Year 10s get drunk, they either do it in a field or at a party.

Op when the kid wakes up, give her a hug (if you are close enough to her) tell her she has been a silly billy and ask her not to put you in that position again.

Really hope all is well, and that you are not taking all the these hysterical comments to heart

ClopySow · 09/04/2017 07:41

Hope she's fine this morning, apart from a bit of a hangover.

When i was that age, we were all sneaking around, stealing from our parents drinks cabinets or getting older people to buy us alcohol. Loads of the kids my age were allowed to have parties, either in their house or garage or barn. The parents knew we were drinking.

FloatyCat · 09/04/2017 07:42

How is the girl this morning OP?

timeforabrewnow · 09/04/2017 07:43

Not hysterical, I would say - don't take all these sensible comments to heart.

The legal age to drink is 18 and it is stupid to basically encourage your child to drink. Really stupid.

Howlongtilldinner · 09/04/2017 07:43

what where in my post have I condoned anything?

I just cannot believe 'adults' can use such aggressive and foul language to someone they don't know, totally unnecessary and very very immature. Makes me wonder what they're like in RL situations.

RickOShay · 09/04/2017 07:49

op it's like we have wandered into the bible belt of gods own country
hellfire and damnation await you for buying cider for teenagers.

Trb17 · 09/04/2017 07:53

OP I hope you rang this girls parents. That would have been the adult thing to do as if you'd put yourself in their shoes wouldn't you want to have been called if it was your DD?

As for allowing them to drink so much unsupervised, I think you know that's wrong and you've messed up there.

You seem to struggle with levels of severity when it comes to parenting. Swinging from early bedtimes to allowing unsupervised drinking seems a tad immature on your part and I think you should try to be a bit more adult about this. You are a parent first, not a friend.

Bluntness100 · 09/04/2017 07:56

I've had the puking kid scenario, although the girl in question was 18. It worked out my husband and I stayed up with her till five in the morning to ensure she didn't choke on her own vomit , cleaned her up and laundered her clothes.

It ended the friendship between my daughter and her as literally the girl tanked a bottle of wine after having a couple of beers. My daughter went downstairs to make them food and by the time she got back the girl had drunk a whole bottle of wine. She was beyond s mess and chucked up everywhere. She was also crying and saying she wished she was dead. It was an awful night.

She had very strict parents and I had to pretend nothing had happened when her dad came to pick her up next day. She also had previous for doing it and then did it a couple of weeks later at the prom, and basically the kids told the teacher and the teachers had her parents come get her, as they were so pig sick of her getting wasted and then them all having to spend their evening dealing with her vomiting and 😭. Something wasn't right with her.

Anyways I personally wouldn't buy 15 year olds booze and I would expect any parent who did to check it with other parents first. Everyone has different views on this. As much as I accept 15 year olds will try booze, I would have been annoyed if I knew a parent was giving my 15 year old daughter alcohol.

Fairylea · 09/04/2017 07:57

Sorry but I'm another one that thinks buying alcohol for teens is dreadful. There's just no need. They are 15!

We don't drink alcohol at all and don't ever have it in the house. If I had found out that dd (who is in year 9 by the way) had gone to a friends house where their parents had left them alcohol I would be judging those parents very harshly and probably wouldn't be happy about her going round again.

My mum was like you, infact one night I was left with my friends with alcohol at about the same age and we all ended up drunk and puking. My mum came back from her night out furious that she had about four 15 year olds all blocking up her sinks being sick. It didn't occur to her she shouldn't have given us the green light to drink at all.

I drank heavily into my late teens and 20s partly I think because having a parent like my mum normalised drinking to me.

I am very different with my own dd. I would be very disappointed and angry if she got drunk at such a young age and she knows this. In other ways I am fairly laid back - technology use, clothes etc etc; but drinking is a definite no no.

footballmum · 09/04/2017 07:59

Can't believe all the pearl clutching on here about 15 year olds getting drunk!! I'll bet the majority didn't wait until they were 18 before trying their first drink. I fully intend to do exactly what the OP has done when my DSs are that age. The only thing I wouldn't do is go out and leave them to it.

Quite frankly I'd much rather buy and control what and where my kids drink than them sneaking out to do it when god knows what could happen.

Vegansnake · 09/04/2017 08:01

I've 3 just adult kids,never had to buy them booze,nor did they drink at 15 ...and weren't in to parties or sleepovers either.i couldn't imagine having to buy them booze,but then dh and I don't drink..I have a beer ,one beer probably once or twice a year.so they don't see us drinking ,so don't see it as normal ...tbh,I'm actually shocked,I can't understand how anyone would buy booze for children...perhaps it's the sign of the times and I was just lucky with my kids,no drinking ,no smoking ,no underage anything..mine were all focused on getting to uni .

user1489226029 · 09/04/2017 08:01

Rick
I don't think that's how people are coming across. Obviously everyone has different ideas of what is acceptable. There definitely is a culture of oh I'll be the cool parent and supply alcohol!!!!

RJnomore1 · 09/04/2017 08:02

Prosecco? Premium cru cider?

Whatever side of the debate you're in they surely aren't drinks you'd encourage a 14/15 year old to have. Radler type lager sure.

Ohhhhh dear.

BellonaBelladonna · 09/04/2017 08:04

Have you rung her mum and dad?

Poor girl. Please don't do this again OP. Jeez.

gobbin · 09/04/2017 08:06

You shouldn't need to ask on MN for what to do (recovery position, bucket, close supervision) and it seems you've largely done that.

You are receiving criticism because many of us can't believe you have been so stupid. It is NOT case that every 15 year old drinks regularly/heavily and my DS went to parties where alcohol was not a feature at all, because they were supervised by an adult. I would've been furious if he was the child in your scenario (with him and you).

This has not led to him 'trying it in secret' or any other hand-wringing parenting nonesense. At 20 he maybe has 3 pints in the pub (when not driving). He has been drilled to not get so bladdered he doesn't know what he is doing and to never leave a friend in that state.

user1489226029 · 09/04/2017 08:08

I think the world's gone kind of crazy you have parents bending over backwards to ensure their little darlings eat healthily etc (god forbid chocolate and crisps!!!). Then come the teenage years there you go have a stack of alcohol while I give myself a pat on the back

Fairylea · 09/04/2017 08:09

It's not about controlling what and where teens drink, it's about normalising the need for alcohol to have a good time. That's the difference. You're making them think part of having a night out / together is drinking alcohol. And people wonder why we have a drinking problem in the uk?

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