WWUD? Random puking teenager in our kitchen

[chastenedButStillSmiling]

We were out this eve, but not esp late (home by 10:30). DD has brought mates back. We know some not all.

They've been drinking booze I've provided (but was supposed to be more than one evening).

DD is 15, yr 10.

One of the kids chucked up. She's fine. She was here on a sleepover,m her parents aware. I know where she lives (20 mins away) but don't know her parents or how to contact them.

I've put her to bed, on her front. Sick bucket and water easily to hand.

What should I do?

7%*

I'm still trying to get my head round the assumption that because a social life was so important to the dd and OP, that she seemed to think alcohol was required.

I'd recommend a parenting course OP, this isn't normal parenting.
I'd most certainly have reported you had it been one of my dc at 15 years old.
There again I parent properly so it didn't happen with our older dc and won't with our remaining dd.
I find it disgusting tbh.

Am another one who read & remembered your previous thread OP. Your priorities are not normal they really aren't. Your DD must be totally confused.

Goldfishjane bollocks does OP teach parenting classes.

Her whole initial posts on this thread could have been much clearer and with more detail (mahoosive drip feed ta very much OP).

If OP does teach parenting classes how comes she's so clueless first place she turns to is MN when a scenario goes wrong (which is a scenario where half the thread posters wouldn't let kids have alcohol even in circumstances like these and where the other half would set some limits or more supervision and where some of us have tales of our own experiences with alcohol in our yoof (deliberately misspelled youth there!) with alcohol and how comes she also on another post can't sort out a reasonable bed time for her teenaged DD?!

Sounds like maybe some of these teens had been on the beers in the park earlier in the day and carried on back at yours.

Personally, I have a rule that DD can only stay over at someones house if I have the parents number and text them to check that it's ok and this also means they have my number. I would certainly want to confirm with other parents that they were happy with the alcohol situation. I think you taking your DDs word for it that her friends had told their parents exactly what was going on is very trusting. I know that at 15 I lied through my teeth about my whereabouts, often saying I was keeping a babysitting friend company while I was really at a party with booze and boys.

Who said OP taught parenting classes?
You must be kidding

I wonder if parents who do this type of thing are trying to be friends, best mates with their kids so they don't have to parent.
The cool parents.
They must know it's illegal and irresponsible to encourage 15 year olds to drink strong alcohol.

gilly OP herself says she taught parenting classes so didnt need lecturing on her parenting (think she said that can't be sure) I think it's one or two pages in. Oh the irony!

I would be fuming if this was my daughter at your house!
If my dd (16) goes to a sleep over I don't automatically assume they will be drinking alcohol. And I would think it very irresponsible of an adult to buy my underage child drink and tell her it's fine.
The premise that 'they all do it' and 'it's better if it's in a controlled environment' just perpetuates the madness! As a parent you say "No! the legal age to buy alcohol is there for a reason!"
And if you weren't even in the house, then it was NOT a controlled environment! You sent a message to these 15yr olds that drinking in your house is fine and normal. I bet some of them stole spirits from their parents cabinets to bring. I really hope this unknown girl in your house has no lasting ill effects or else you might be in serious trouble!

gilly my own DM was shocked and angry when I got drunk at 14 at her own party on red wine (I was told I could have some but not how much) and then (I was quite a naughty teen) I snuck up to the pub a couple of times a week for vodka and orange juice and Malibu and pineapple juice.

There was no way on earth we were encouraged to have parties with alcohol or to go to parties with alcohol, but it happened. (Eg when parents were on holiday etc). My DM certainly didn't condone drinking strong alcohol at all though probably because my DF who she divorced when I was 5 was an alcoholic.

I think you are getting a bit of a hard time here.

I have been there too. DS who is now at uni, used to have his mates round a lot in years 10 to now. I used to buy them beer and cider, and put out crisps and cakes etc for them. They often used to bring their own Vodka etc. I made sure I kept an eye on them. I have had to provide clean clothes and offer to drive home the occasional drunk boy. My worry was drugs more than alcohol. I felt if they were in the house it was better than the street or a park.

DD is now 15 and going to parties. She shows little interest in having booze at her parties. She tells me that some parents buy beer and cider and some of the kids bring in vodka. I talk to her about drinking and what is sensible. She will sometimes have wine with me at the weekend. If she asked me to provide drinks I would.

I am glad the girl is ok, I think you did the right thing.

Superfly I still get heatstroke in England in the sort of sun that we had yesterday if I sit out in it , so would have been vommiting, alcohol or no alcohol .

I mentioned the 9 children , 4 lagers and 2 ciders thing because that seems an unusually small amount to make someone sick , forgetting the sun , because I worked all day yesterday so the sun was incidental to my day .

"How do you know that? How do you know that she hadn't discussed having a few drinks for the invited girls which the other parents ok'd? " because she's said she doesn't know the parents doesn't even have contact info for them.

The alcohol wasn't enough to make em sick -

A op hasn't clarified amount or strength

B as op wasn't there to supervise she has no idea if the girl that was sick drank the majority of it or if more and stronger booze was snuck in and consumed.

'Normal in dds friendship group' op has NO IDEA about these girls or their families she's said so.

A passed out vomiting child does NOT indicate this was harmless!

Op 'did the right thing' in looking after the girl - NO she lacked first aid knowledge, common sense and adult responsibility.

Clearly NOT just a London thing why do Londoners think they know/experience everything and others don't? It's so arrogant!

"It's the lack of supervision that's the issue" that I agree with! Hugely irresponsible.

"Still suspect she is conducting a social experiment" thought has clearly occurred to a few of us - journalist?

Op so TWO irresponsible adults in your house!

'It was spontaneous' sorry either back tracking or you were being disingenuous in earlier posts which were understood by all those posting that the girl who was there for the sleepover and the provision of the alcohol was pre-arranged.

You trusted kids to tell their parents they were going to your unsupervised home where there was enough booze for at least one to get very ill and accepted that they had without verifying with ANY of the parents! Foolish at best!

You ASKED a drunk sick child IF you should contact her parents? 🙄

She was 'floppy' you're bloody lucky she wasn't more seriously ill! If she'd ended up in hospital/dead how the FUCK would you have defended yourself?

AGAIN 'they didn't want us walking them home' I'll bet! WHY are you taking advice from children?!

"I moved her from being on her back to recovery position." NOT what you said last night - you said front recovery position is not front!

You're now trying to claim 'Twas the sun' oh please! You massively screwed up you know it and won't even take responsibility for it!

"Puking girl very petite" another reason you were DAMN LUCKY and should have CALLED HER PARENTS LAST NIGHT!

You're also changing the info on the strength of what they were drinking - because you know you screwed up!

Either you posted the 2 threads you did because you really are THAT clueless I recommend you

Quit your role teaching parenting
Go ON a parenting class
Look into family therapy as your dh is clearly no better
Learn first aid
Learn some societal responsibility.

If you're a sleazy lazy journo who posted to create a story - quit your job or learn to be an ACTUAL ethical journalist.

I think the messages saying the OP knowingly allowed the kids to drink on her absence are a bit harsh...even before the update the first post stated they'd gone back there on a bit of a whim

But I am a bit that this girl who last week had to be in bed at 9pm can now swan around in the evening hanging out with whoever, with quite a bit of freedom

Providing alcohol to your underage child is one thing but to someone else's child who has been entrusted in your care. Expect the parents to be fuming with you.

kieren, it seems to be because these are the holidays and, therefore, all rules go out of the window, along with common sense.

... and she has also (twice ) I think stated the alcohol provided was 'low volume' whilst specifically telling us it was Premier Cru cider... ( 7 - 9 % ABV)

Honestly, loads of Year 10's drink nowadays, and a vast majority of Y11's, so jumping down OP's throat is a tad premature, given most of your children, if of that age, are most likely doing the same (whether you know it or not).

Graphista you clearly didn't read mine nor OPs original comment properly. She knew SOME, not all families- some being the girls she knew her DD would have round, and didn't know the families of the extra girls.
The girl who was being sick was one of the girls whose parents she didn't know. She never stated that she didn't know any of the parents of any of the girls. I really think some of you live in bubbles. I'd never have predicted the responses this thread has gotten. Also people seem incapable of properly reading OP's postss

Daydream007 OP has already said that parent of the drunk girl apologised to OP for the state she got herself in. Didn't seem angry at OP at all. When I got myself in a state at 15/16, my mum didn't once get angry at the parent, only ever at me. Don't think it occurred to her to blame the parents.

Ah right thank goodness you said that as it makes it all ok. Particularly if most are doing it

I haven't rtft. All I want to say is my 15 year old has a glass of wine with the family on special occasions. A small glass of wine with family members is a completely different ball game to being left with a load of other 14/15 year old and a load of booze! If that was my dd in a drunken stupor at your house OP I would have gone ballistic!!

Buying a load of drink and then disappearing while Year 10 pupils drink it is absolutely beyond belief!

No way on this earth do you deliver parenting classes. If what you say is true then do not inflict your 'parenting knowledge'on any more parents (and their children).

For the record my 15 year old is expected to come home by 9pm on school nights. I wouldn't expect her to go to bed at 9pm though. She usually spends a couple of hours on FaceTime to her friends - just like most other 15 year olds.

A 'vast majority' of year 11s do not drink. But let's not go down the stats road again as that didn't turn out well....

Has no one read OP's response? All of you saying "I expect the parents will be fuming" etc etc...OP clearly said that the parent of the girl apologised to HER...as would I if it were my child.

Porter, I think we may be the last (wo) men standing to have RTFT in its entirety - and I know we don't really agree on the actions of OP, although we concur on some things.

But even you must agree that the CRUCIAL info (which you cite above) isn't actually in her first post but - oooh- maybe 18 pages later?? !