Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WWUD? Random puking teenager in our kitchen

809 replies

chastenedButStillSmiling · 09/04/2017 01:03

We were out this eve, but not esp late (home by 10:30). DD has brought mates back. We know some not all.

They've been drinking booze I've provided (but was supposed to be more than one evening).

DD is 15, yr 10.

One of the kids chucked up. She's fine. She was here on a sleepover,m her parents aware. I know where she lives (20 mins away) but don't know her parents or how to contact them.

I've put her to bed, on her front. Sick bucket and water easily to hand.

What should I do?

OP posts:
ILikeBeansWithKetchup · 09/04/2017 11:20

Yes, I read that, too SPB

It is certainly evident in pastoral care in schools. Kids in my area have a big drinking culture and are off down the pub and clubbing a lot. Oddly, though, not at my DS's school. My school is in an affluent town , DSs in a less affluent village. Not sure if that's why.

Nojellyintrifle · 09/04/2017 11:22

Have you got a link to that survey Stealth please? With sample size.

MILLYmo0se · 09/04/2017 11:23

The idea of supplying a child with alcohol leading to a healthier relationship with alcohol for them always confusing me. I always thought that studies show over and over that these children are more likely to be binge drinkers and/or have a destructive relationship with alcohol much the same as a child growing up with an alcoholic parent would be? Do studies not show that a child growing up in a home where alcohol consumption is discouraged or accepted only within certain circumstances eg a sip of bubbly at New Years or a wedding generally have a healthier longterm relationship with alcohol? Or Im completely misunderstanding the articles and discussions I come across.....
Tbh in my experience (and of COURSE there are exceptions to this as there are to everuthing) many parents that follow the permissive model of supplying the alcohol or turning a blind eye to the obviously hung over teen or the clothes reeking of vomit dont want to examine their own relationship with alcohol.....
Anyway OP hope all is well with the girl this morning.....clearly more alcohol was brought into your home as they knew they werent going to be supervised,from what you say was drunk there was barely enough taken to make someone vomit even if she drank it all herself. You are v unclear about her level of actual drunkeness or whether you question your daughter about the level of drinking etc. As a mum I wouldnt be impressed at the supplying of alcohol but in reality thats unlikely to be the cause of her drunkeness,and tbh if the mum doesnt know you and didnt have a conversation with you about the sleepover then imo she doesnt have much grounds for being pissed off.

Salmotrutta · 09/04/2017 11:23

You have been monumentally stupid OP.

Teenagers having a small amount of alcohol, with parental permission and under watchful supervision of a adult is fine.

It's not fine to leave them unsupervised knowing there's alcohol available for them and swan off out.

I hope the girl is okay.

if this is true

ILikeBeansWithKetchup · 09/04/2017 11:24

It does exist, if you are inferring it doesn't. My school was one of the mmany schools used. It was done by NHS England, I think, but that may be wrong. If mine is the same s SPB's, it was a huge survey. Also about other things. I'll see if I can find it.

StealthPolarBear · 09/04/2017 11:24

Here's the publication of the results
content.digital.nhs.uk/catalogue/PUB19244
Hope that works

SantinoRice · 09/04/2017 11:25

I don't think OP is a shit parent but she might be a bit shit at looking after other people's kids.

Her own kid didn't get wasted, then didn't try & hide what had happened. I would have if I was 15!

The mistake the OP made was assuming other kids would behave the same as her own. I've done exactly the same thing (let my DS's friends into my studio full of sharp pointy things as I assumed they wouldn't touch anything as DS wouldn't. What an idiot).

Did OP come back to tell us how the kid is this morning?

StealthPolarBear · 09/04/2017 11:25

It was commissioned by public health England, run by ipsos mori and the results were analysed and published by the then health and social care information centre.

Tinkerbec · 09/04/2017 11:26

How did it go with the parents op?

Did the girl sleep it off ok?

Nojellyintrifle · 09/04/2017 11:27

Found it thanks. It was a survey of just over 6000 teenagers self reporting in 2014.

WorraLiberty · 09/04/2017 11:28

The OP 'delivers parenting classes'?

Brilliant! Grin Grin Grin

Nojellyintrifle · 09/04/2017 11:29

It does exist, if you are inferring it doesn't. My school was one of the mmany schools used. It was done by NHS England, I think, but that may be wrong. If mine is the same s SPB's, it was a huge survey. Also about other things. I'll see if I can find it

You are very rude.

My dh is a statistician so I am genuinely interested and reasonably knowledgeable about sample sizes and accuracy in relation to results.

Also, having three teenagers, it doesn't correspond to what I see/hear at the three different schools they attend.

Thank you Stealth.

StealthPolarBear · 09/04/2017 11:29

Yes and all the potential issues are discussed in the results. Confidence intervals around the results reflect the sample size (which is huge)
it is accepted as the most up to date and authoritative evidence of young people's behaviours and attitudes and is definitely better than an individual's general perception based on the behaviour of their children and their immediate friends.

Nanny0gg · 09/04/2017 11:29

I have a feeling the OP won't be back...

StealthPolarBear · 09/04/2017 11:30

Of course nanny :) not under the same name anyway

Nojellyintrifle · 09/04/2017 11:31

As I said, dh is a statistician, it's a survey.

ILikeBeansWithKetchup · 09/04/2017 11:32

And, of course, binge drinking is done at home by many! So OP has normalised that , too.

I am not a moraliser. I drank 2/3 of bottle of wine last night. But calling a drunk girl 'random' and saying she' chucked up' seems remorseless.
If I had got myself in this pickle , I would have been going 'oh shit, shit, shit, oh no, I've royally cocked up. Shit'

I can find a Drinkaware survey with talks about stats. Can't seem to paste the link. Feel free to google. It says drinking numbers have fallen but hospitalisation of under 18s has increased, because those who drink drink a lot.
I taught a 17 year old once who had liver disease.
We really should never say it is OK to drink so much that you throw up and/or pass out at any age but at 15 , it is very damaging, in so many ways. Excuse me if I can't laugh it off or pass it off.

MsJamieFraser · 09/04/2017 11:32

Again ILike You where projecting and you still are, you where projecting that I was spoiling for a fight, and stating that I was facilitating the OP by stating the laws on underage drinking. When I was doing neither.

Your still projecting only you dont seem to realise it, by stating I have opinions that I do not hold, as if I have said them Hmm

I have at no point said " we ONLY do things if they are not illegal and that this is our only barometer of sensible behaviour. It feels like you are saying people should do things BECAUSE they are legal".

I've said no such thing, or have I suggested such things, so YES you are projecting and the only one thats patronising is yourself!

Stop putting words your opinions to my name that I have not even remotely suggested or even thought!

That opinion is yours and yours alone, you feel thats your issue, so YOU deal with it, stop projecting your issues by trying to transfer them to me,

You seem to think my comments are aimed at you personally, they are not, they are just factual posts giving to ALL reading this thread, factual lawful correct information!, and not the hysteria ramblings some have posted as facts!.

Its actually been insightful about how little people know the laws regarding underage drinking.

I merely posted the law, due to the hysteria that the OP was breaking the law and being a criminal, if you dont like that, its not my issue!

StealthPolarBear · 09/04/2017 11:32

Ask him his views. As surveys go it's quite robust.
I'm a statistician as well

Orlantina · 09/04/2017 11:33

As a mum I wouldnt be impressed at the supplying of alcohol but in reality thats unlikely to be the cause of her drunkeness

I wonder what would be the cause of her drunkeness?

Nojellyintrifle · 09/04/2017 11:33

There are approx 4.9 million teenagers in Britain today. 6000 is not a huge sample.

I am actually allowed to question it.

ILikeBeansWithKetchup · 09/04/2017 11:33

OK OK - still not 'projecting' whatever you think that means.

Thanks for the lecture.

I have done nothing but agree that this is not about the law.

Nojellyintrifle · 09/04/2017 11:33

Of course you are Stealth Grin. Were you at LSE with him doing population studies Grin

StealthPolarBear · 09/04/2017 11:34

Are you accusing me of lying?

StealthPolarBear · 09/04/2017 11:35

If you look for my username you'll probably find I've said this plenty of times in the past
I'm really quite angry