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Original poster

WWUD? Random puking teenager in our kitchen

809 replies

chastenedButStillSmiling · 09/04/2017 01:03

We were out this eve, but not esp late (home by 10:30). DD has brought mates back. We know some not all.

They've been drinking booze I've provided (but was supposed to be more than one evening).

DD is 15, yr 10.

One of the kids chucked up. She's fine. She was here on a sleepover,m her parents aware. I know where she lives (20 mins away) but don't know her parents or how to contact them.

I've put her to bed, on her front. Sick bucket and water easily to hand.

What should I do?

OP posts:
MsJamieFraser · 09/04/2017 10:08

SPB, its not illegal for children over 5 to drink alcohol, its only illegal to sell alcohol, and to sell alcohol you have to have a licence to do so.

So it makes no difference, if the OP purchased the booze for the kids to drink it in her private home, its not illegal, nor is it illegal to drink under the age of 18.

Children can drink from 5 upwards... mind boggling but lawfully.

As I said before, its very complex, but also very simple.

waiting for the pans to boil, as my kids are wusses and shouting the waters too cold Hmm

Bluntness100 · 09/04/2017 10:08

The issue i think is it's negligent and there has been cases in the media of parents being charged when they have bought children alcohol and then failed to supervise and a child has died. They have a duty of care.

However therE is another issue for me and that's the moral one. I suspect the op isn't going to be champing at the bit to tell the other parents she bought their children alcohol and then left the house and that one of their children were very ill because of it.

CrowyMcCrowFace · 09/04/2017 10:09

I like Curly 's teacher analogy. I am one, & yes, if I condoned alcohol drinking on a residential I'd get the sack.

Don't even get me started on the mum whose dd was going to be celebrating her 13th during a PGL week of abseiling & canoeing, so she lovingly packed 4 cans of cider & a bottle of vodka so birthday girl & her 3 roomies 'could have a bit of a party. Lighten up Mrs McCrowy, we've all done it haha!'.

Luckily one of the girls got cold feet & snitched before they got properly stuck into the vodka...

OK, as a 'friend's parent' you don't have quite the same loco parentis status officially.

Still bloody stupid to go out & leave a bunch of teens with alcohol when you don't know who you are hosting or what additional booze is inevitably going to be pulled out of bags the second you close the front door behind you.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 09/04/2017 10:09

Contacting the school and police over a pissed 15 year old is absolutely ridiculous, what exactly do you propose that the school do?

I can only assume those making such statements don't have teenagers yet.

derwoodgirl · 09/04/2017 10:09

LondonMum8

Our drinking culture very close to its worst.

This in spades

StealthPolarBear · 09/04/2017 10:09

I get that Mrs jf. I really do. So giving them a small amount of some alcohol you already have in is fine (legally) I know that.
Buying alcohol for your teenage dd's party is where the line crosses over into supply I would have thought. Obviously difficult to prove but that isn't what I am debating here .

Nojellyintrifle · 09/04/2017 10:10

StealthPolarBear you are wrong but I am not going to keep spelling it out for you.

I am not necessarily defending the op but it is vaguely in an area that I work/enforce in and you are incorrect to say that it is illegal to buy alcohol to supply at home.

Basic common sense (as well as Google) would explain that if it's legal to supply at home, then how does the alcohol get there.

Have a lovely day in the sunshine everyone.

StealthPolarBear · 09/04/2017 10:10

Oh ffs.

Paul78 · 09/04/2017 10:11

Again, it is illegal to leave a child under the age of 16 if there is risk (deliberately left vague).

A child has alcohol poisoning, which is a foreseen possibility that a reasonable adult would have foreseen.

No contact was made from children to OP. OP doesn't have agreed consent from parent and 'apparently' cannot contact them.

This meets the threshold (in my opinion) for the CPS to prosecute, if the parents want this pursued.

Nojellyintrifle · 09/04/2017 10:12

yep- exactly Stealth, how I feel. Head banging on a desk.

ILikeBeansWithKetchup · 09/04/2017 10:13

There is a difference between the letter of the law and what medical professional say which is - don't give alcohol to children under 18. It is bad for all of us. But especially bad for them.

I don't think OP has committed a crime. But she has done something extraordinarily lax.

pimmsy · 09/04/2017 10:13

Hi OP,

I hope everything is all right this morning.

I personally don't think you did anything very wrong.

Maybe have a chat with them this morning about drinking, about it not being a competition and it being okay to stop (drinking) as soon as you are not enjoying it.

When I was a teenager one of my friends parents used to let us drink (within reason) at their house. They were the people who taught us about staying safe while drinking.

I think that probably 90% of teenagers get too drunk and end up being sick at least once. It just so happened that this girl did so on your watch. I don't think it's a biggie.

Take the opportunity to let her know, that it's not a good idea to drink too much, but that you are foremost concerned by her safety. That you would like it not to happen again, but if ever they are worried about a friend who has too much to drink, you are an adult and can help them stay safe without judging.

Best of luck for today.

StealthPolarBear · 09/04/2017 10:14

Apologies if I'm exasperating you. Don't appreciate being spoken to like a naughty teenage myself.

WeAllHaveWings · 09/04/2017 10:14

I a gobsmacked that any parent would go out and give 15 year old school children they barely knew unsupervised access to alcohol (that was supposed to last a few nights Shock). It was totally foreseeable that more would have drank more or more would have been smuggled into the cool mums house Hmm

Lets hope the CHILDREN that left your house unsupervised and intoxicated got home safely.

They are 15 years old! They aren't responsible enough for this and you cannot make these decisions for other peoples children. You aren't a cool mum, you are neglectful allowing unsupervised drinking and putting children you don't know at risk.

I hope all the children are ok this morning and I don't know who will listen, but I do hope the parents take any action possible against you this morning, whether that be SS, police, school as you are seriously out of order.

StealthPolarBear · 09/04/2017 10:15

In fact the op has said it was bought specifically for the children. It was meant to last the holidays. It was her dd's alcohol.

MsJamieFraser · 09/04/2017 10:16

But thats a totally different ball game Paul and different laws and sections completely.

As a ex children social worker, I have never been involved in a case nor heard of a where a parent(s) have had social services intervention because there teen got pissed. Fucking hell no wonder out public services are screwed.

Nojellyintrifle · 09/04/2017 10:16

Apologies if I'm exasperating you. Don't appreciate being spoken to like a naughty teenage myself

I don't appreciate your FFS comment when I have very patiently sent you several links to the law which you could have googled yourself.

Yet, you still insist you know better.

I really am off now.

ILikeBeansWithKetchup · 09/04/2017 10:16

But pimmsy she didn't do any of those things.

No conversations about safe drinking. No supervisions. No real monitoring of the sick child. Left her asleep on her stomach with another 15 year old.

StealthPolarBear · 09/04/2017 10:17

One if those links seems to support my argument! That's what I don't get. It's like you're all only reading other bits

ILikeBeansWithKetchup · 09/04/2017 10:18

I love this idea of buying children 'enough alcohol for the holidays' ! Seems a few nights of drinking were planned! Sheesh. Hopefully OP now won't buy a new supply.

If I left six Cokes in the fridge as 'enough for the holidays', I know full well my DS would drink them all in a couple fo days if I didn't watch like a hawk.

MsJamieFraser · 09/04/2017 10:19

SPB, it does't tho, your misinterpreting the law.

Willow2017 · 09/04/2017 10:20

I would've furious if my 15 yr old had so much alcohol at a sleep over they were sick.
Wtaf? 15yr old's do not need alcohol to have a good time! You are the responsible parent yet you left kids with enough alcohol for a weekend (what does that even mean? Were you planning on letting them drink all weekend? ) and what? You thought they would 'pace ' themselves? Seriously? And mixing drinks is really the worse thing to do, especially if you aren't used to it.

You should have been there to supervise them not sodding off and leaving them to it.

Did you even check with parents if they minded you plying their kids with booze? Do you know if they are on any meds that could react with alcohol?

I hope you see this as a steep learning curve.

ohidoliketobebesidethecoast · 09/04/2017 10:20

What the fuck has it got to do with school? It's holidays, it was at a private event! Schools have enough to deal with, thanks very much.
That's sad, I'd have hoped they'd be concerned that groups of 15 year olds were drinking so heavily, and would keep an eye out for rising absence and kids seeming under the weather, to check for further occurrences.

They might also want to provide information thru PSHE sessions on the topic, to guide the kids on the dangers of alcohol abuse, to try to counter the behaviour of parents who are not providing adequate care. They may well want to remind all the kids of the school rules regarding alcohol on the premises too...
The information would surely be very relevant to the pastoral care of that group? I'd be disappointed if my DCs were at a school that didn't care that much.

Fauchelevent · 09/04/2017 10:21

What an... entertaining thread. Personally loved the suggestions OP provide them with crack cocaine, or that the parents call the police to prosecute hee!

"What you in prison for?"
"I gave eight teenagers 1/2 alcoholic drinks. I'm down for fifteen years."

Never seen overreactions like this - and I have never touched alcohol in my life. I went to a very very naice school and I can tell you by fifteen the girls from the poshest families were doing much stronger things than alcohol.

OP, you provided them with some drinks that were supposed to last. You now know they can't be responsible around drink, they're fifteen and haven't learned their boundaries yet. Lesson learned. Next time you know you HAVE to be the to supervise when her friends come round again. Some of these responses are ridiculous.

user1489226029 · 09/04/2017 10:21

As said previously it's this whole drinking culture that is worrying. It's a holiday have alcohol, it's Friday have alcohol, it's a bit warmer have alcohol, it's cold outside have alcohol!!!!! Crazy a previous poster was horrified at encouraging kid to smoke why is there this need to introduce alcohol??