WWUD? Random puking teenager in our kitchen

[chastenedButStillSmiling]

We were out this eve, but not esp late (home by 10:30). DD has brought mates back. We know some not all.

They've been drinking booze I've provided (but was supposed to be more than one evening).

DD is 15, yr 10.

One of the kids chucked up. She's fine. She was here on a sleepover,m her parents aware. I know where she lives (20 mins away) but don't know her parents or how to contact them.

I've put her to bed, on her front. Sick bucket and water easily to hand.

What should I do?

Is everything ok today, op

I would not supply alcohol to teens in my house but it does happen a lot. My own kids have been to parties where my permission was never sought for them to drink and a couple of times (the ones I found out about) they have ended up in a state.

I never charged round there to tear off a strip and never considered phoning the police

This Is life with teens. You can deny it if you wish. Maybe your teen won't get involved but certainly the majority will. In my day we used to get pissed on white lightning in bus shelters.

OP you had a hard time on your last thread and I thought you were a little over zealous but being sensible. This sounds like insanity though. You don't know what that girl drank (if extra booze had been brought to the house) and putting her face down?!
Hopefully she's ok this morning, I always have contact details for children who are sleeping at my house (likewise I give my details to anywhere Dd is staying - from your previous thread I would have expected you to be the same), it's just common sense.
Pasting aside I hope you'll let us know the girl is ok and out of interest what her parents have said this morning.

Blimey Stealth are you deliberately being obtuse?
Read the links, google the law. It's supplying to under 18s in a public place or licensed premises.

Not.At.Home

You can supply alcohol with a meal to 16 and over in licensed premises.

They're 15 years old. What where you thinking. Its okay the odd glass while you're there to supervise, but providing them with alcohol and leaving them to their devices is entirely different. Except to get the length of her mother's tongue. She trusted you with her child, and she is a child. Put the boot on the other foot.
You teach parenting classes. I hope not

Curly this is exactly how I feel. I have teenagers and I would expect to be informed by the parent in charge if there was going to be alcohol available at a sleepover my 15 year old was attending. I also make a point of giving my phone number to the parents and having a chat with them before my dc goes there.Ds is now 17 and in sixth form so it would look silly to do that but I was doing it until he was in year 11.

Are posters seriously suggesting contacting our overworked and underfunded police force about a 15 year old drinking too much?

I think the ones having a go at OP about letting the teenagers drink obviously forget what it is like to be young. If teenagers want to drink they are going to. It is safer and more controllable if they do it at home. Would you rather they got bladdered in a Park?
What is safer or more controllable here? The OP went out leaving teenagers with alcohol that she'd purchased for them - that gives a message that she's fine with them drinking and therefore they'll not feel guilty about bringing along more alcohol. One of them ended up so drunk she was vomiting & out of it. And OP doesn't seem to even bother staying with her. So the girl might as well be in a park because at least then you might get a responsible dogwalker finding her and getting her home or somewhere safe.
On another thread we had a responsible parent not allowing her daughter to go round someone's house because there wouldn't be any supervision - she might have said yes if there was a parent there because she'd have assumed (like most people) that the parent would ensure nothing happened. Apparently that's not a safe assumption. You might want to read that thread OP - the mother actually parents her daughter, and her shopping list involved junk food (lack of kitchen facilities) and not alcohol.

So you bought a weekend's worth of alcohol for children, then went out and left them to it? Are you mad?????

www.drinkaware.co.uk/alcohol-facts/alcohol-and-the-law/the-law-on-alcohol-and-under-18s/

STB it is very clear, the key word is sell the op is't selling the booze.

bloody hell. paul

There has to be intent so what the kids do afterwards with the booze has nothing to do with the OP, as she brought it to be drank on her private property.

basics really

NoJelly I'm off, far to much a glorious day to be getting technical

It depends on the girl's tolerance to alcohol. I've been very very sick with wine (white and red) and get drunk really easily on it. I also have ex-colleagues/friends who were known for getting very drunk and sick on 4 bottles of Bacardi breezers (but as I recall they were 4-5% each so easy to add up).

I've known a child of an alcoholic at 15 drink so much he was hospitalised and had his stomach pumped etc, not known of anyone die of choking etc in vomit but I'm sure it happened. The one thing we did know as teens (and I'm quite old school) was the vast majority of us never left anyone drunk etc and certainly kept an eye on them if they were or could be drunk and sleeping. When I was 16 my best friend had a party I was very very drunk on white wine and vomiting and sleeping and she was an angel (though rightly so pissed off about the state I'd got in!).

It doesn't always have to be the random person bringing in spirits. OPsaid her fridge was well stocked with a variety of alcohol what's the betting the kids necked some prosecco etc just to see what it was like. At that age if I recall its all about trying drinks etc and sometimes being unwise though you get the odd rowdy teen.

OP was silly to let this happen but I do hope the teen is ok and she should have her details from her DD as to parents address. I'd maybe tell parents.

I also read the thread re Teenage DD and bedtime and am a bit staggered but not 100% surprised at the complete turnaround in plans for her DD.

Parenting classes too?! WTAF? Physician heal thyself is that the right phrase?

I find MN a confusing place. On some threads , parents go apeshit if their child is given orange squash or - horror- fizzy drinks. On another thread, it's OK to give 15 year olds alcohol. It's bizarre really. Is there a specific age at which all parenting goes out the window and kids can do whatever they like, even sometimes encouraged by daft adults?

I am a teacher, too. And MN makes me get why some children are a) tired all the time b) especially on Mondays and c) very entitled and occasionally d) no clear sense of responsibilities and'/or ethical behaviour with e) no boundaries...

Oh well.

A couple of posters have said if they were vomitous girl's parent they would be contacting school. Many other posters are saying they would call the police.

I am wondering just how those conversations would go as since this isnt a school issue and no laws have been broken neither of those organisations would be remotely interested. They might make obliging 'tut tut' type noises but that would be it.

At 15, DC are learning how to be adults. This means making decisions for themselves and within limits living with the consequences.

There does seem to be an awful lot of pearl clutching going on on this thread.

just for balance, From the drink aware website It is not illegal:
For someone over 18 to buy a child over 16 beer, wine or cider if they are eating a table meal together in licensed premises.
For a child aged five to 16 to drink alcohol at home or on other private premises.

It does seem very unwise to go out and leave house to receive "randoms" and with booze supplied . All sorts could happen. It would wise to have a good discussion this morning with DC and randomC as to what they did really drink.
At this age a boozy party is not going to end well. Drink with food and with known friends, small groups, and with you in the other room is much safer.

It is against the law1 2:To sell alcohol to someone under 18 anywhere.For an adult to buy or attempt to buy alcohol on behalf of someone under 18."

Sorry SPB, I link the wrong link.

You are correct, however you're misunderstanding the law, the OP is not selling the booze, it is illegal to anyone to sell booze to anyone under the age of 18.

Anyway, I've got a paddling pool to fill, I may even have booze myself, while in charge of my kids the horror will someone not think of the children

No I'm not being obtuse. The full bullet point was it is against the law

For an adult to buy or attempt to buy alcohol on behalf of someone under 18. (Retailers can reserve the right to refuse the sale of alcohol to an adult if they’re accompanied by a child and think the alcohol is being bought for the child.)

So when the op bought the alcohol it was to give to her daughter and friends. If the public place thing is in thay bullet I cannot see it.

I got criticised for not putting it in context, well here you go. Not sure the bracketed part is relevant

I haven't read the full thread because there are too many pages so apologies if it's been said. But the alcohol that op listed can't have got her that drunk especially if there are 9 girls! Someone else must have brought some alcohol with them... what's op meant to do ? Search their bags on entry. Are all of you for getting what it was like to be a teenager?

Christ, people are nasty on here! The OP gave a group of kids a modest amount of booze. In hindsight, not such a good idea, but she wasn't exactly helping them shoot up! We aren't talking about children, we're talking about teenagers. They will clearly have taken some into the house themselves. Do none of you remember being this age and going to parties?

I can't believe this is the same Op with the controlled bedtime routine. One extreme to the other. Bad idea to leave a bunch of teenagers with booze and clear off out and not expect there to be trouble. It's like leaving a pile of chocolate with a bunch of toddlers and telling them not to eat it. Hope the girl is ok.

Our drinking culture very close to its worst.

babading - what is Hard booze ? Curious : is there a line here? is some alcohol soft? Do please tell the medical profession this?

In anyone's definition, regardless, cider in the UK is strong stuff!

You sound like my (deceased) stepfather who thought drinking beer in the car whilst driving!) was OK because it wasn't 'hard' alcohol...

My friend's DD was regularly drinking alcohol at parties from about 14. Freely admitted to stealing from parents drink cabinet when the supplied stuff ran out.

Never knew her limits, passed out before 9pm on several occasions and ended up in A&E twice. Friend regularly called out to come and scrape a vomit covered DD off of the floor.

Friend's reaction was staggeringly "what can you do? She's a teenager, she'll learn"

Do people give their teens the odd couple if cigarettes now and again then? So they learn to smoke in a controlled environment?

God it's not like the op shoved it down her throat. I think it's better than them trying to get it on their own and at least the op knows how much is gone.

Hope she's ok op

Stealth what is "smoking in a controlled environment?" Smoking is smoking. If you do that you're just encouraging them to smoke, you're saying it's OK to do. There's no way I'd give my DS cigarettes - I would hate to think I was facilitating him smoking and becoming addicted to something so harmful.

But whocansay - it wasn't a 'party' - these kids appeared at her house while she was out. If anyone called it a 'party', I am assuming it was the OP's daughter, taking advantage.

9 teenage girls isn't exactly a party. And, yes, I remember being that age. If I went round a friend's house informally like this, I was plied with pizza, cola, videos , ice cream and we put on face masks. If we raided the fridge we found lots of soft drinks.

Parties were a whole different matter but, even then, most of those took advantage of absent parents and alcohol was teen provided.

A moderate amount of booze is different for an adult as it is for a child.