It just took DH 15minutes.....

[manasaw]

To get 2 pillows and 4 cans of cider out of the caravan on the drive. He thinks this is normal.

AIBU to think it's not?

strawberrisc there are many threads running on MN right now and I don't think you imagined the dot, dot, dot in the thread title would be followed by "bomb Syria" did you? So please don't pop onto threads randomly trying to imply that everyone should be discussing Syria.

I'm certain there are plenty of threads already about the situation there but if you can't find them with the search function do feel free to start one.

Argh I have one of these.

"I'll just go get dressed."
"Sure. Be quick though, we need to set off soon."

"WTF ARE YOU DOING UP THERE?"
"Getting dressed?"
"WTF IS TAKING YOU SO LONG?"

"I dunno... I was just... getting dressed?"

If I watch him, what he actually does is fanny about in front of the mirror for a bit inspecting every pore and hair, then checks his phone, then gets some clothes out, then picks at his toenails speculatively, then brushes his teeth, then has a luxury poo, then puts on his socks, then wanders to the window to gaze out at the street, then reconsiders his face in the mirror... breathes into a paper bag

It takes DH longer than me but he is much more organized. I tell him earlier in the day we are leaving at say 8:00. He then gets ready and he is normally sat dressed ready to go at 7:45.

This is the perfect thread. I am married to a faffer.

Mine spends 20 mins faffing with his iPod before cooking. Because you can't possibly cook without exactly the right music playing.

I'm a faffer. The trouble is that there is actually just Too Much That Needs Doing and when you start one thing you realise there are three other things that simply must be done. To others, these things might seem trivial but really it all contributes to achieving Ultimate Sort when everything in the universe is where it should be. Frankly, you non-faffers don't have an overview and are too focused on micro tasks with no notion of the concept of Ultimate Sort.

Armi

I don't think my DH is on any kind of mission for an Ultimate Sort. His brain doesn't have any joined up thinking to come up with such an elaborate plan. Unless he's having to perform decoy faff behaviour to throw me off the scent of his secret Ultimate Sort plan. Then he's a genius because I have absolutely no hint of any mindful, driven behaviour in him whatsoever.

a luxury poo

Loving this, it's shaping up as well as 'he ate a fatball'.

no hint of any mindful driven behaviour < this. In spades. I am laid up and nothing is getting done. If I gently remind him I am getting eye rolls like Harry Enfield's Kevin. I was taken to hospital on Thursday and came home today and the place is just as I left it on Thursday. He lives on frozen pizza if I am absent. If I died he would corner the market!

Faffs mid faff - brilliant!

luxury poo made me snort a bit

DH is fairly organised, the biggest faffer I know is my mother. If I'm picking her up for a day out with the kids I ask her to be ready for say 10.45. Now I am always, without fail on time. Yet no matter how often I say "be ready to come out to us" she won't be ready when we arrive.

So I'll go to the door and she'll call out to come on in, won't be a minute, meaning I've to get the 2 dc out of the car and bring them in. She'll just have to slip her shoes on but of course first she's to find the fucking shoes, then it's "where did I put my bag", "will I bring a jacket/scarf/umbrella" - that requires a bit of musing of course

Then as she makes her way toward the front door she remembers she'll need her glasses but won't say that out loud, no god forbid I could save us a couple of minutes extra faffing by pointing out "they're on your head"

All of this faffing will be accompanied by efforts to regale me with the fascinating tale of yesterday's trip to Tesco and bumping into what's her name, oh you know her, you doooo... We all know how enjoyable that conversation is yes?

Finally after 15 minutes of this fuckwittery, during which the dc will have managed to kick off their shoes or mislay their jackets, we'll finally get into the car at which point she'll go now in this sort of happy, excited, aren't-we-going-to-have-a-lovely-day tone, to be met with my expression of murderous rage! She thinks I'm an uptight, impatient, psycho . I do love her really but some days she doesn't know how lucky she is to have survived the day out!!

Faffs mid-faff" is the phrase I've been looking for my whole marriage

I've found my kindred spirits!

This is my mother and husband.

I'm pretty sure I have high blood pressure.

He actually had a go at me for making us late last week. I had: washed up, put washing on, fed toddler, changed toddler, toddler had poo so changed again, dressed toddler, packed day bag, made up milk, stowed all in the car including lugging the pram around. Whilst doing this I entertained said toddler and had a shower/cleaned teeth.

He had got dressed and got side tracked by an article about a train.

Whilst having an aneurysm caused by my rising blood pressure and getting in the car I remembered we needed some spoons so nipped in and grabbed one.

He had put his shoes on.

The spoons made us late. Apparently. I could have fucking killed him.

My mother faffs about faffing. She calls me out when I arrive at 10.06 saying I'd be there 'about 10' (having driven across a busy town that hates my attempts to traverse it) but then will take TWO HOURS to leave the house after putting the washing on, re designing the garden and having four cups of tea.

I need a lie down.

you could have mine instead. Announces a declared departure time. Sits on his arse doing absolutely nothing constructive until the precise departure time (give or take 8 seconds) and then leaps to his feet saying 'why isn't everyone ready?!'

If he faffed in the interim at least I'd know the rest of us had signals to get ready..

What is the opposite of faffing??

On a side note, tell your DH only OAPs faff. Maybe he'll snap out of it...

glue My mother faffs about faffing. She calls me out when I arrive at 10.06 saying I'd be there 'about 10' (having driven across a busy town that hates my attempts to traverse it) but then will take TWO HOURS to leave the house after putting the washing on, re designing the garden and having four cups of tea.

My in laws get up at 5.30 am every day so that they can leave for work at 8 am!!! How can ANYONE take that long to get ready!!?? -that said, I've seen him drive; he faffs then, too.

luxury poo -genius, I know someone like this. 45 fecking minutes on the bloody loo. But it's no better when they come out, the smell permeates the landing...

My people!!!

At this very moment, DH is supposed to be helping with the dishes. He has put them in a pile and pottered off upstairs. I've just been up to see what he's doing, because the dishes aren't washing themselves, and he is writing a poem.

His particular area of faffing expertise is the getting-in-the-car faff. For me, it goes 'Get bag/coat/dog/child/whatever we need to take. Lock front door. Get in car. Go.' For him it's a complex multiple-stage process that involves Loading The Car (a task I am not qualified to help with), doing a spot of light weeding, going to the loo, kicking some loose gravel off the pavement, going to the loo again, walking the dog up and down the street until he does a wee (even if we're going five minutes up the road to the woods), putting the dog in the car, checking round the side of the house in case we've got masonry bees, deadheading the roses, picking a bit of loose paint off a drainpipe and tutting at it....all of which looks like the sort of thing he'd do if he was ready and waiting for me, and yet if I dare to come out and lock the front door at any point during this process, he'll get all irate at me about how he's Not Ready Yet and Why Do I Always Do This and make a big show of letting himself back into the house to do I know not what for another five minutes before we can actually go.

spider, how could you ever be cross with someone whose version of faffing is writing a poem?? That's adorably eccentric faffing.

He's definitely very adorably eccentric I luffs him lots. He still needs to do the blooming dishes though!

My OH goes into the litchen and starts doing random tasks when I am at the door, car key in hand, ready to set off. 'Just filling in time while you get ready.'

He also has a quick tidy up - usually of letters that I need to keep into the paper recycling - when I am getting ready to go out. This is particularly annoying since our front room is full of his random paperwork - bank statements, tax returns etc - that he shoves on top of the books on the bookshelves instead of putting in 'his drawer'.

I've managed to train myself out of grabbing the phone/TV controller/laptop off him when he's sighing and saying 'Why won't it ...' Last night he stood in front of the telly for 5 minutes trying to find the golf, by randomly scrolling down the channels from the 700s.

I feel your pain.

We had a day out planned today, with a fair drive, so wanted an early-ish start. My day to get dc's up, and H asked as I was getting up what time to leave - I said 9ish. Dc's up, dressed and through breakfast by 8.30am, then I packed for the day out - drinks, snacks, medical stufff etc. Popped my head around the bedroom door at 8.50ish, expecting to have to turf H out of bed (what usually happens)

Was pleasantly surprised to find him up, and dressed.

I have absolutely no idea what he did between then and us eventually leaving at 10.15

He was up.

He was dressed.

He grabbed a quick cup of tea (that bit I did see - took him the usual 5 minutes)

But I have no idea what else he actually did, yet it took him nearly an hour and a half to be ready.

Bloody ridiculous.