It just took DH 15minutes.....

[manasaw]

To get 2 pillows and 4 cans of cider out of the caravan on the drive. He thinks this is normal.

AIBU to think it's not?

My dad is like this. A simple job will take hours. Him and Mum need to be out of their house for 8am once a week. He'll faff about until mum gets mad and yells at him, at which point he'll go in the sulks and complain to the nearest person about how 'everything has to be done at top speed.' I've seen it in action and its infuriating.

My bf is what could be termed as possibly a hurrier/faffer? (Like passive/aggressive)

I get several nudges to 'Hurry up' that I'm 'making us late' and that I'm always 'faffing' ......
And the millisecond I am ready the cheeky bastard bf will decide the fucking door is squeaking and needs some oil, or the tyre pressures need checking there and then, or the wiper solution needs filling, and when I get totally fucked off a bit annoyed at being hurried along by him, to then be held up by him, I get told 'It'll only take a sec' So will killing you

DP is a world class procrasti-shitter. The first response is "In a bit" or "I'm just doing this". Movement finally happens and he appears, phone in hand with "I'll do it once I've been to the loo", a trip which normally lasts so long I could probably write a half decent screenplay. I was five minutes from calling the coast guard in case he fell in.

Oldandjaded I've got one of those too, always rushing me to be ready - I can go from shower to dressed, made up and hair dried in 16 minutes flat - yet he starts in on how I should be making a move with an hour to go. Then, when I m ready and have been for ages, he's still got at least 30 minutes of faff in his faff tank he has to use up.

I'm married to a faffer too! If I want us to leave at 10am for a day out I tell him 9am as he's such a faff! If we're cleaning the house I'll ask him to do something and after a reasonable time suggest the next thing to be done whilst I'm on job four...Only to find once we're finished that half his tasks are unfinished. His defence "but you asked me to do x!". Yeah because I believed you'd finished the other task I'd asked you to do.

Drives me up the wall but I refuse to let him off the hook. I'm sure that's what he's hoping but I'm not cleaning up after him.

I have to admit that I am the faffer in our marriage. I wasn't always one but I think it happened after having children - too much going on. Fortunately, DH is super organised and efficient and also calm with respect to my faffing

Oh God I have one too. Just reading this is making my blood pressure rise!

He also takes a million times longer than necessary to make any decisions especially when buying something. Buying some new patio furniture for example:

Me - quick glance around the showroom - I like this shape (corner sofa) in the waterproof wicker, either the brown or the taupe.
DH - has to sit on every single chair and sofa and surface in the place
Me - Although I think the beige cushions will show the dirt, let's go for the grey.
DH - But what are the advantages to the plastic wicker instead of pressure treated wood? (keeping in mind we I had researched all of this beforehand) and one million other questions
Me - places order, pays and is waiting in car.
DH - wanders out of shop 30 minutes later, looking lost.

The other week it took us well over 3 hours to buy a new armchair and choose the fabric.

"yes, just tell me what needs doing and I'll give you a hand" - when we have visitors/ a big meal to prepare.

Having told him PRECISELY what I need - the table to be set, the living room to be tidied, both of which are vital, he will then get the hoover and duster out and start vacuuming (not needed) the living room and dusting (not needed) the mantelpiece slowly and with great precision.
If at all possible, he will arrange this latest, self-appointed job to finish JUST before the meal is ready/guests arrive leaving NO TIME to do the jobs I bloody well asked him to do !,!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Does this count???

This is all DH by the way!!!

Deliberately incompetent hiding behind faffing to avoid doing something he didn't want to do = childcare of his own child.

procrasti-shitter

Stealing this

I'm getting the faff induced rage just reading these!

I've got one of these too. The greatest torment of his life is doing his expenses for work. It took less time to build the Panama Canal. The last week of the month, any request for anything I need done is greeted with much huffing and an "I'm DOING my EXPENSES today". He will then lock himself away in his office for four solid hours.

He is a former physicist and I swear to god he accidentally launched himself into some sort of time dilation phenomena when he was doing his PhD and he never found his way out.

I think my 4 year old is turning into one of these.

Yesterday- get undressed while I pop to the toilet, then I'll help you with your pyjamas.

I returned from the toilet to find she had no pants on but was madly sorting through a pile of books next to her bed to find 'the ducky one' (which turned out to be a chicken anyway).

Most mornings I end up saying the same thing on repeat:
DD, time to do your teeth
I need to find my jumper (note, she's already wearing a cardigan)
Time to do your teeth
Which bobble shall I wear (note, I already did her hair)
Time to do your teeth
Can I just choose a book?
DD, teeth!
Ooh, I like this one cos it's...
TEETH, NOW!
I'm coming, just be patient!

Chronically - my 6 year old son is exactly like that!
Oh but I can't get dressed now, Obi Wan Kenobi Lego man has dropped his light sabre and I need to find it.
I am getting dressed mum! I just need to run around in circles while I do it.
I can't get dressed, I've lost my socks.
Its not my fault, ds2 was distracting me.
I need a wee.
Look I'm dressed!

• by which he means he is wearing one sock, pants and T-shirt which are both on backwards. So I ask what happened to his trousers. I lost them. Now look what Obi Wan Kenobi is doing mum, look!

He gets it from his dad who is also good at anxious faffing.
I had a bit of a go at dh as he was trying to hastle me out the door to take ds1 to a party when it wasn't due to start for half an hour. I pointed out that the party was at our church hall which takes five minutes to drive to at the most.
So we left five minutes before the party started and were still one of the first to arrive.
When DH needs to take ds1 to the same location he has to add in extra time as he will inevitably lose track of his keys, his wallet and his phone. He will get ds1 stressed which will result in ds1 being slow.
There will be inevitable faffing about IN the car, before running back in as he's forgotten something.
Ds1 will start asking random questions about something irrelevant which will leave dh flustered.
Then he will need to phone faff for several minutes.
It really puzzles him that I can get my stuff together, put my shoes on, ignore ds1's silliness and be out the door.
He's taken both children camping this weekend. Faffing galore and I'm at home chilling out. Ahhhh…

30 minutes of faff in his faff tank to use up this is my Dad, exh and son.

Just told my faffer DH that I'm reading this thread that's all about him. His reply - yeah well you can laugh but it's people's like you who get by on the sweat of us faffers!

Dh is a champion faffer.

I recently took over doing his sandwiches, I do them the night before. Five minute job, tops. This gives him an extra HALF AN HOUR in the morning. I've watched him do them. It's painful.

I am incredibly lazy so get things done in the quickest possible time so I can get on with important stuff like sitting down with a coffee.

30 minutes of faff in his faff tank to use up  this is my Dad, exh and son.

I am also married to a faffer and it drives me absolutely mad. I may be making excuses, but I do wonder sometimes if he has dyspraxia - just watching him make a meal out of the smallest and simplest of things... and the trail of devastation he leaves in his wake. Don't know enough about it, but I do wonder...

30 minutes of faff in his faff tank to use up

AHAHAHA this is DH to a tee. It is frustrating. DS1 also faffs (13yo) and between them I feel like I'm the weirdo and they're normal.

We are going away in our caravan today, I've done all the food shopping, laundry, packed the awning in the car, took down the playpen and packed it, put the shopping in the caravan, put towels/ toiletries etc in, put water tanks in, put inflatables in for kids, basically everything while DH at work yesterday.

DH job: pack the baby's clothes.

Current position: babys clothes drawer open since last night. THATS IT. OPEN.

Oh god the 'choosing something' faff.

Buying a washing machine was A WEEK of internet research. A WEEK. I caught him reading about the factories that make the PARTS of the washing machines.

ARGGGHHHGHHHHHHH

My DH is a faffer and I am a procrastinator.

He will take HOURS to do something that takes me minutes but has this equally annoying habit of having to DO THINGS NOW.
For example....he will fill in a form (would take me weeks) immediately but then will start faffing about going to the loo, getting his keys, coat etc.
Me: what are you doing?
DH: I have to post this letter
Me: But its midnight, its Saturday and its a bank holiday weekend. Its also snowing
DH: uncomprehending look

hahaha - I've found my spiritual home.

I have a DH who faffs, a DD16 who faffs and a DD14 who doesn't.
Even the bloomin dog takes his time...

On Sundays MIL will sometimes come for lunch and the afternoon.

DH will "hoover"... eventually. He has to brush the dog first, then empty the little waste bin. and find a bag that fits the little waste bin, and move EVERYTHING up from the floor - including the coffee table (and aforementioned bin), and flick through the magazine on the coffee table - til I look out from cooking and say "hoover?", and hoover the carpet (the job that needs doing at that particular time), followed by getting out the nozzle tool thing and going round the skirting (done on Thursday by me - how much crap accumulates there in 3 days? - not much, is the answer...) and will still have the hoover in the middle of the floor when his mum arrives.

pretty much every other Sunday. (I love that MN saying "makes my teeth itch..." it fits exactly)

"Faffs mid-faff" yes. That is my husband.

DS2 has inherited this gene in its slightly mutated form of moving glacially slowly. Not sure which is more annoying.