To think life's pleasure dwindles as you get older?

[Melaniaspilatesinstructor]

Once you're 30 and you start realising that the people you love are going to get ill and die, the food you eat and have been given depends on animal cruelty to exist.
People you love, hurt each other or want to say negative things about each other to you.
It's so hard to stay afloat financially and so easy to get into debt.
Clothes we wear are usually due to someone in the world being exploited, also iPhones.

So we give up meat, dairy, gossip (and allowing people to gossip to us) give up spending money we don't have (which means no holidays, family visiting, outings)

Even having babies (which is beautiful and sweet and wonderful) is scary because they depend so entirely on us being functional and we constantly worry about them.

We give up sugar to lower our cancer risk knowing that lots of people get it anyway.
When I see elderly people struggling with loneliness it makes me feel so sad especially my own grandmother who has lost my mother and her husband, now her sight and her mobility to an extent.
It's like life puts things into perspective and all that's important is loving others but all the while knowing you might lose them at any time and giving up comforts that got you through.

Life's just less enjoyable with all this ^^^ in mind.

AIBU? Or have some of you managed to hold all this and still feel happy?

I'm 34 and I feel like I'm waiting to die.
There's a lot of freedom and possibility when you're young. Once you get older - and particularly when you have children - all that freedom and possibility stops.

I don't think I have any pleasure at all anynore. I have a lot of worry and mundanity and tiredness. Mainly worry.

I'm 34 and I feel like I'm waiting to die
There's a lot of freedom and possibility when you're young. Once you get older - and particularly when you have children - all that freedom and possibility stops
I don't think I have any pleasure at all anynore. I have a lot of worry and mundanity and tiredness. Mainly worry

I really would like to say to you that the above is nonsense but I think its kinder to suggest you see your Dr instead.

It increases, with the knowledge that you have less time, even though life itself may actually become more difficult.

I feel like since 30 I'm going through a period of great personal growth in confidence, happiness, understanding.

That's an incredibly negative view point on life, and not one I remotely share.

I actually feel happier the older I get (pushing headlong towards 50).

You change the things you can and accept the things you can't change. That's it. You are human and you have limits.

I find joy in things like a comfortable bed. A quiet space. My cat's pur. A good film. exercising. Meeting friends and family. A flirty glance or a sexy text. A nice chat with a stranger. Great food. New clothes. A bright morning. sunshine. A shower, just the dawn of another day basically or the setting sun and a quiet evening. a gift from a neighbour. The smell of leather or a beautiful (expensive)! candle. Looking at beauty. Music. Honestly, I could go on and on but you get my drift. There's so much to enjoy.

I look at my life now in terms of summers left to enjoy. The blooming of the blossom signals the nearing of another one and I'm always happy that I've got that to look forward to.

Yes, loved ones get ill and die and people have thier faults but they're human and that will never change.

Acceptance and appreciation for what you have are key to happiness.

I just think once you hit middle age - and it's probably worse for women - you are invisible. No one wants to employ you. It's too late to make new friends or start new hobbies or a new career path. That's it.
When I was younger there was a lot of laughter and excitement even though there were difficult times too. Now as a middle aged sahm I have no value to society and never do anything of any interest to anyone.

Depends. At 30 I felt my freedom severely curtailed by the start of having babies. I think freedom (but within a strict, self imposed routine) is what makes me tick, so the baby years were hard.

Thought I'd hate approaching 40, but happier than I was ten years ago and much happier than 15 years ago. Of course, that does correspond to having older kids and a social life again.

The older I get the closer I get to my escape from the drudgery - and I don't mean retirement.

I take pleasure in the little things, as the big ticket items, (though diamonds are always appreciated), don't hold so much appeal. It can things like fresh bedding, a brand new pair of socks, great bread, a new book, my cats giving me a love, my mug of tea appearing by my bedside every morning, crisp mornings, lazy days, watching an episode of NCIS, my ds calling from uni to say 'hi', finding a bar of chocolate that I'd hidden, feeling warm to my bones.

I think life still holds possibilities until the day you die, and that age is a state of mind. We are all dying from our first breath; you can either enjoy the ride and take pleasure in it, or sit there moping.

I feel so sad about all the negative posts here - especially yours place. There's is no need for fun, adventure, happiness to stop. As I've got older I've learned to worry less and enjoy the little things more.

Building sandcastles on the beach was and still is a huge pleasure, even though dcs are adult. Snow, dogs, nature, friends... So much happiness still to experience .

Go to your Dr place

I'm 50. I have a better perspective on life (and death) than I did in my 20s, but I enjoy life so much more. Possibly because I have more perspective and find more joy in the smaller pleasures in life. I mean, on Saturday I hung the laundry outside for the first time this year and I was completely made up about it!

Placeanditspatrons sorry that life is tough going for you atm.

It is simply not true that it is too late to start new hobbies when you are middle-aged! That's nuts!! Sorry!! That's exactly when loads of women take up new interests (and sometimes make new friends too). If there is nothing in your area that is affordable/of interest - why not start something yourself? That's what I did when I moved to a new area and those friends (many who were in the same position) are still with me now six years on. It was a book club so didn't need much money (we went to each other's houses on a monthly basis and everyone chipped in for biscuits/cake). That's just one idea but there are loads of possibilities out there honestly. It's much easier nowadays with the internet to find out about stuff going on in your area too.

Agree about middle-aged women being invisible though!! Bit demoralising I agree. But there is a freedom in that too ... .

It's too late to make new friends or start new hobbies or a new career path. That's it

Why? I could be on this planet for another 20-40+ years. I am planning a whole new life new business new country and looking forward to the people I shall meet. New friends. New experiences.

I am nearly 60.

interesting thread, thanks for starting it op

I'm 50 and still waiting for the contentment being older brings. I've lost my parents and don't have any extended family and the void for me is huge and ever present. But I love my dh and my teens so find a lot of happiness there. I wish the sentiment of walking away from people who make me feel shit was true, at work my bosses make me feel so awful but I can't walk away, I need the money and am not getting far getting something else.

And I don't support anyone telling you that you shouldn't feel like this in your 30's, you're entitled to feel exactly how you feel, whatever age you are.

carefree 20s I worked myself to a standstill.

Could it be those that had the carefree 20s are the ones who hit their 30s with life catching up with them and are the more depressed about their prospects.

I do think happiness is not age specific.

I was at my most unhappy between ages 13-21. Lots of anxieties about how I looked, whether people liked me, boy trouble, man trouble, pressure to do or be certain things. As you get older those things matter less and you know yourself more.

I'm feeling like that at the moment OP, but hoping it will lift once I am not longer in the middle of a difficult divorce.

I think life can be very happy when you are older. I suppose it depends what hand life deals you. But many of us (not everyone) can make our own happiness as well.

Ha- am twice your age and find life still has joy.
How you make your life is what's important.

Oh good grief when I read your thread title I thought you must be talking about people who are really elderly. I lost my DM last year. She was 83 and her last few years really had not been much fun, bless her, due to ill health and mobility issues.

But 30!!!

Of course we don't live in a perfect world and the news is depressing and shit happens to people and might happen to you tomorrow. But lovely things happen too and there is still pleasure to be had, even if it is in little things.

I am 54 and at this time of year I get such delight from seeing the spring flowers and the leaves starting to reappear on the trees and the blossom. Even changing my library books gives me something to look forward too. I have a lovely family and hobbies and interests that keep me busy.

Try to look for the joy in things a bit more OP. You have a long time to go without it otherwise.

I think it's the opposite, I take more joy from simple things than I used to when I was younger. For a start as a child you have little impact on the environment you grow up in, parents constantly arguing, the first 10 years of my life was childhood wasn't as happy as it could have been. Things significantly improved once my dad left, but my teens and 20's were still a very self conscious time, I felt I could never be funny or cool or beautiful enough to pass as a young person. Plus I hated socialising. Then in my 30's I stopped giving a fuck, I started Ceroc dancing and it was great, also it meant making friends with older people. I'm now in my 40's and I enjoy life, I take pleasure from things that I use to think dull, like looking up at a big beautiful tree or walking on the beach, and sex is so much better too since I've stopped being so self conscious. I physically look worse than I did 20 years ago and am in chronic pain but am a much happier person. I've lost people close to me, people the same age as me, it's made me realise how lucky I am to still be here.
I think sometimes we get to caught up in getting everything right, the obsession with sugar and salt and exercise and if you end up with a preventable illness due to some excess someone will be there to tell you it's your own fault, you failed. Stop trying to pass some imaginary test, you could make it to 100 with no illness and still find yourself alone because everyone else is dead. A telegram from the queen is not the same as an A* in the GCSE of life.
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True that no one want to hire you to do anything interesting as a middle aged woman though.
THAT is something that comes as a shock when you pass 35 or so, and needs addressing I reckon. We may feel happier in ourselves as we get older, but it's an irony that society at large conversely values us much less.

place that's a sad post love you may need to seek some proper help

Op 30 is young

I am 50 and find my life incredibly busy with children, grandchildren and elderly parents but I make time for me once a fortnight with a blissful massage. I play tennis and cycle just getting outside makes me feel better.

I feel far more content and able to say no more I am not invisible to the opppsite sex I still get odd looks which I admit I enjoy.

My kids are now able to buy me a glass of wine and discuss politics and life and me and dd are out for cocktails next week to celebrate her 18th.

My 20s was small children and work work work. 30s more children and more work but 40s were pretty good.

Having young kids saps your energy so hang in there it gets better

ifnot that's not true dh works alongside many many women 40s/50s in the city all in high exec positions.

We have a female PM!

labour could do with a few more women though

Life continues to be great (I'm in my 50s) and I see no reason for it to stop being so.