To think life's pleasure dwindles as you get older?

[Melaniaspilatesinstructor]

Once you're 30 and you start realising that the people you love are going to get ill and die, the food you eat and have been given depends on animal cruelty to exist.
People you love, hurt each other or want to say negative things about each other to you.
It's so hard to stay afloat financially and so easy to get into debt.
Clothes we wear are usually due to someone in the world being exploited, also iPhones.

So we give up meat, dairy, gossip (and allowing people to gossip to us) give up spending money we don't have (which means no holidays, family visiting, outings)

Even having babies (which is beautiful and sweet and wonderful) is scary because they depend so entirely on us being functional and we constantly worry about them.

We give up sugar to lower our cancer risk knowing that lots of people get it anyway.
When I see elderly people struggling with loneliness it makes me feel so sad especially my own grandmother who has lost my mother and her husband, now her sight and her mobility to an extent.
It's like life puts things into perspective and all that's important is loving others but all the while knowing you might lose them at any time and giving up comforts that got you through.

Life's just less enjoyable with all this ^^^ in mind.

AIBU? Or have some of you managed to hold all this and still feel happy?

If you're not depressed, are you kind of internally "virtue signalling"?

We have options to go vegan and minimalist. See friends and family.

Money is more difficult, depending on your qualifications and job options.

I've found things get better as I get older. You realise life is short but it means you make the most of it. Yes the world is cruel at times but it's also full of kindness and that's what I choose to focus on. My children are older and while we still do lots together it also means DH and I have time together that we haven't had since the early 2000s.
So YABU!

I met my DP (former childhood sweetheart) when I was 48. He has brought me more joy than I could have dreamed possible.

Like a lot of pps, and as I head towards 50, I find completely the opposite OP.

I am 73 and dh is 80. Life is very good indeed. We enjoy our dc and dgc we have no money worries as the mortgage is paid. We have some health problems but they don't stop us from doing most things.
We look back on all the lovely things (and some not so lovely) and feel so lucky.
Just yesterday we had a day out with my dd, his ds and three of our grandsons at a local NT property then dinner at dd's home.
We have lots of evenings in front of tv with bacon sandwiches, cats on our laps etc but they are part of life's pleasures too.

Yes, I take joy from birds singing, beautiful weather, and ditto to much of what daisychain01 says.

I'm over 60 so that makes you more appreciative imv, maybe because you realise you won't be here forever. People my age seem to care much less what anyone thinks of them. Then you can concentrate on what YOU like and not distract yourself with your image or anyone else's opinion of you.

Problem OP, is that you are focusing on things that cannot be changed overnight. Focus on the things that YOU can change. Even if it's joining a FB group that gets together to feed the homeless, or being kind to strangers. I had a difficult childhood and my early 20s were nothing but work, work, work. But then in my 30s I had my girls and was able to go part time. I was finally able to 'slow down' and appreciate life.
I'm not far off 50 now and even though news items bring me down, I only have to go for a long walk in the countryside and sit alone a while and everything is right with the world again.
You need to grab every opportunity of happiness by the balls and don't let go!

I think that as I get older (40 this year!) I have already been let down by enough people, so I no longer expect anything from anyone, and I rely on myself to create my own happy.

I'm no longer striving for 'perfect'. Instead of the big intense Christmas Day, it's now my son and I, at our holiday house on a small island, sleeping in, staying in our PJs, and going for a swim at the beach. There is no need to try and impress by putting on a big feast and running around like headless chickens to get to see everyone. I decorate my house how I like, and don't try and live like some sort of spread from House and Garden. A good weekend is measured by how many naps I get in whilst sitting on the porch, not by how many "friends" I tag on Facebook. I get more enjoyment in having a few genuine friends over and we all toss a plate in the middle of the table and drink a few bottles of wine that I ever did from trying to impress people with fancy dinner parties. I don't expect anything from people, and I don't let people's expectations of me overshadow what I need to do to find my own peaceful existence.

You sound self indulgent and a bit silly. And you sound less than 30.
Of course there are bad things, but you can live alongside them,minimise them, and still be happy.
And if you want more money, then you need to look for a better job, or learn to do exciting things super cheaply,which is perfectly possible.
If you are depressed then you need help, if you aren't then...give your head a wobble. Don't waste your life feeling like this!

I feel like you about the state of the world OP.

It's such a mess. It can all feel so futile.

But...I find that wider perspective forces an appreciation of the little blessings in life. Family, pets, gardening, good books and good food (easy to cook and buy vegan produce)

There is still a lot of joy out there. It's just sometimes you have to sift through some crap to find it.

I'm 33 so I can empathise with feeling old before your time.

Just a comment about seeing things "through rose-tinted spectacles", that's not a crime, in fact going to therapy (especially CBT and similar counselling techniques) is all about trying to use your own inner resources to turn negative perceptions round and view things from a more positive frame of mind.

It's helped me cope through very harsh times, but then again I have always been a glass half full person, so I see it as a helpful way to get through the rollercoaster we call Life.

Couldn't disagree more (wondering whether you are struggling with undiagnosed depression). Life gets a zillion times better as you mature. Disagree about the wow factor too.
For us it's brilliant. We can now do things we couldn't afford to do when we were younger. Travel to amazing places, try new things, do exactly as we please (within law). In past year we've been to Sri Lanka, Dubai, Hungary, Austria, Iceland, Sweden, Norway and are off to Denmark next week. We can afford to take children with us sometimes but also like each other's company. Friends sometimes come too and it's nice they are in same situation so no stress about who's paid for more or less coffees. We don't have to worry if children can't come they're adults now.
I am not looking to attract a partner so am free to dress as I want without pressure to wear makeup, get nails done, wax or anything else. I hope I still look ok most of the time but that's because I want to.
My work is a joy. No pressure to think whether I can agree to doing something. No childcare to think about rushing back for. I decide if I want to do it, simple. I'm also sufficiently established and confident not to be put upon. I feel trusted and respected.
Socially life is good. Friends are mainly very long standing so no awkwardness- we can take half a bottle of wine, we can tell people we don't eat something, we can say sorry too tired tonight.
Relationship wise we've survived thus far so anxiety, boundary setting and AIBU has diminished. We are truly as one. We know each other as well as we know ourselves. We like and love each other. It's fun.
Health is rubbish but we all have to die sometime and better a life well lived, eh?

Thegreylady that is lovely

I am 36 and currently going through a huge health anxiety problem. I think mid 30s triggered it for me as I suddenly realised I wasn't "young" anymore. Being aware of your own mortality is a scary thing and for most people that sense of how long you have left doesn't really hit until your mid 30s / 40s.

I think there is nothing like the blissful ignorance of youth and I miss it. At 18/20/even 25 I thought I was completely invincible.

I have a friend who didn't want to live beyond 60 because at 60 your health deteriorated and she didn't want to become a burden. She was a geriatric nurse who only knew sick old people.

She still can't get her mind round mil at 95 going on cruises with her male friend.

If you think the animal that your meat has come from suffered cruelty before its death. Go at least vegetarian or vegan.

Decide what you can do to make life better then do it.

At around 30 a lot of us also realise that we have to honour our responsibilities...like our homes, jobs and/or children. It is true that we sacrifice much of what we want to do for what we have to do. We become forcibly less selfish as our obligations pile up. That can feel overwhelming and thankless at times, particularly when our children are very young and require so much from us we haven't got space to indulge many of our own wants. It's a phase though...they grow (all too fast) and soon we are exploring our options again...but with a more confident, capable and experienced eye.

I'm 46 and on the whole, in the nicest possible way, I call bollox!

I enjoy a lot in life including sugar - I am fit, healthy and active, have a job I love and a decent social life - and money - I now have more money as my kids don't go to nursery

Your parents getting older and sicker is shit I agree - but the rest - seriously there is a lot of things to love

I became aware of mortality rather suddenly and unpleasantly at the age of 11. Afterwards, I remember my mind wondering during a humanities lesson in y7, deciding that I wanted to be memorable. At some point in my teenage years, I appreciated the people that gave up their time to do things like running the DoE award, and wanted to pay it back during my life. That's a value that's stuck with me and still very important. If I did have a young death, I want people to have lots of memories of me that make them smile and laugh- to me, that's a life well lived.

Generally, the world is in quite a pessimistic, transition phase. It's been there before, and things will stabilise again.

I've found with my 30s that they are dominated by my young family which has changed my priorities. When I go into my 40s as my children grow older, those priorities will change again and open up more.

I think there is more pleasure in little things. Having a quiet moment to myself is bliss!

What a depressing OP. Couldn't disagree more. It speaks more to your pessimistic attitude towards life. I find so much in life to celebrate. So no, I won't wallow with you in your misery.

and yes - my Mum is 71 today (Happy Birthday mum!) and cycles between 5 and 20 miles a day, sings a choir, has a huge gang of mates and a younger husband - she's pretty happy with life as well

I am 53 and get pleasure from many things.

Walking the dog on a sunny day.
Wild primroses in the Spring.
A delicious meal.
A productive hour working in the garden.
A successful work project.
Laughing with my teenage sons.
Reading the paper in bed on a lazy Saturday morning.
The company of good friends.

(and yes, I am a non-sugar eating vegetarian who tries to live an ethical & non-wasteful lifestyle).

fairylea there's nothing quite as bad as a health scare. I hope things resolve for you.

Re the blissful ignorance of youth, I felt way more anxious uncertain and fearful of the future when I was teens/20s. The angst was overwhelming!

By comparison I now feel life is a doddle

I'm the opposite too. Life seems simpler now because I've realised what's important to me and make the effort to do it. I don't waste time trying to fit into other peoples' expectations and I appreciate the simple things in life like sitting in the garden with a book. I know that the next few years will bring losses (and that terrifies me) but life generally is better.

I'm 45 and also disagree. We have serious problems in our family, health related and other so def not in a bubble. But I still get happier as I get older, more confident and comfortable in my own skin. We don't dwell on the issues in our life, if anything they just make us want to make the most of what we do have.

I'm finding the opposite. I'm in my 40s, dc are older and independent so I have more time for myself. I find a lot of pleasure in really simple things, sorry if it's such a cliche. But going for a walk, a new book, something good on Netflix...... my life probably is dull and boring but I feel very content.

My dh is prone to a bit of it's-all-downhill-from-here thinking and frankly it does my tits in.