To think life's pleasure dwindles as you get older?

[Melaniaspilatesinstructor]

Once you're 30 and you start realising that the people you love are going to get ill and die, the food you eat and have been given depends on animal cruelty to exist.
People you love, hurt each other or want to say negative things about each other to you.
It's so hard to stay afloat financially and so easy to get into debt.
Clothes we wear are usually due to someone in the world being exploited, also iPhones.

So we give up meat, dairy, gossip (and allowing people to gossip to us) give up spending money we don't have (which means no holidays, family visiting, outings)

Even having babies (which is beautiful and sweet and wonderful) is scary because they depend so entirely on us being functional and we constantly worry about them.

We give up sugar to lower our cancer risk knowing that lots of people get it anyway.
When I see elderly people struggling with loneliness it makes me feel so sad especially my own grandmother who has lost my mother and her husband, now her sight and her mobility to an extent.
It's like life puts things into perspective and all that's important is loving others but all the while knowing you might lose them at any time and giving up comforts that got you through.

Life's just less enjoyable with all this ^^^ in mind.

AIBU? Or have some of you managed to hold all this and still feel happy?

You sound like a really good person who is trying their best. Perhaps it's time to use your values in a positive way that brings you some sense of wellbeing (which you richly deserve) - have you thought about joining a reading group, or a class, or a club that will let you explore some of these issues with like-minded people?

Lol at 'getting older' at 30.

Nope, life gets better.

i think it increases too, though perhaps I am easily pleased these days. i actually genuinely look foward to going to bed by about 8.30

I'm the opposite. I uderstand that feeling though. I've learned to do what I can, when I can and not to pointlessly fret about the rest.

I think you find your true self as you get older, me and DH have found s new social scene, new friends with the same interest and I don't feel the need to compete with others on the whole. Through work I'm very aware of what things go in in the country and I find others attitudes and (what I think are) pink & fluffy views frustrating but you find your tribe to an extent and I avoid people who bleat on about stuff they know nothing about where I can -mainly social media it has to be said.
I think what your experiencing atm is world weariness, the joy will come back-when people close to you get very ill or die you have to see it as s sign to live your life your way as it's all too short.

Definitely happier as I´ve got older, because I am aware of how precious life is and that it shouldn´t be taken for granted, so you´ve got to really enjoy the good times when they are here.

I don't think like that at all...I'm 57. My life and perspective is far happier than it was 20 years ago. I read the papers and watch the news every day too, so certainly not in a bubble.

Which is why I don't think about any of these issues any more if I can help it.

By diverting your energy into your personal reality you can be a practical force for good in your little corner of the world. Simple actions like bringing cake to your elderly neighbour and asking their name. Asking your shy colleague out for lunch. Holding doors open with a smile. Volunteering your time to help others.

It's about recognising where your power is and using it for good OP.

I'm in my 50s. These are the good times. We do what we like with the time and money we have spare now that our DC have left home. Yes, we have our heads up and more awareness of our own and others' mortality but that drives us on tbh.

The physical decline is a pain in the arse however...

But, I would also add that I didn´t realize how great life could be until I was a good bit older than you. I think at 30 I still had an idea that life was about finding and maintaining a certain level of happiness.

Clicked on this expecting op to be in her 50's or 60's.

Sorry you're so depressed & jaded at such a young age

Totally agree, OP.

I disagree. I think you're going through a natural dawning of realisation but honestly, in many ways growing older affords you more joy and satisfaction. You stop giving a flying toot about what other people think of you, being fashionable, doing stuff you cba with, being a contender etc. Instead you come to a place whereby you please yourself, appreciate the good times, value your loved ones and do what the fuck you like.

I'm 41 and honestly have never felt more confident or sated with my life than now.

You can also look forward to simple things. For example right now I'm delighted about the longer days, the sun, the thought of summer, long evenings in the garden having dinner and a glass of wine. Simple pleasures. Yes winter will come again, yes I need to weed and cut the grass, but I prefer to focus on the positive side.

Being sad and thinking of the negatives only doesn't change any of those negatives. They still exist. So focus on the good stuff whilst dealing with the bad. You really are the only person who can make you happy.

Happy in my 50s in spite of huge challenges. I think it comes from confidence, experience and a more relaxed attitude to life.

Yes life has got tougher for me as I'm getting older personally, health wise and have zero funds but I actually think I'm happier. Our lives are so short, I like to concentrate on what's important and see the beauty in this amazing world we live in. Simple things that give me pleasure. I believe the world is going to hell in a handbasket and try to help in the ways I can but ultimately a lot is out of my hands.

I try to avoid the news where I can also, not because I'm ignorant but it really impacts my mood and makes me anxious.

I think you become more of a realist as you get older, and realise that you can't make the world perfect, and start to focus more on what's important for you; family and friends and just enjoying life. I'm older and feel content with life now; I no longer over analyse everything and value people in my life more. I take pleasure in the simple things in life. I think this comes with the realisation that you are getting closer to old age and you want to make what's left of your life happy and fulfilling, and not stress about things you can't change.

Well, all the things you mentioned are pretty crap. What matters though is what you do about it. Look for joy, make joy and share joy. Make your little corner of the world infectiously joyful.

You say you are not depressed as your energy levels are good. Perhaps you have anxiety of some sort, though?
I know when I am depressed I feel like I am being truly realistic at last, and everyone else is just hiding behind their rosetinted spectacles and burying their heads in the sand. It's quite scary.

Thirties is far too early for this sort of talk.

But in general it's true. No one warns you in your 20's and early 30's just how bad life sucks. You graduate, land a good job, have a lovely circle of friends and tons of money to travel and go out and fund a very nice lifestyle. No one is sick, no one is clinically depressed, no one is poor.

Then BAM! You hit your late 30's or early 40's, your parents get ill and need care and die, your friends are starting to get cancer or get divorced or both, you either can't conceive and are going through round after painful round of IVF, or your children are sick or being bullied at school or god forbid not making it past their 5th birthday, you're getting reorganised or laid off at work, you are mortgaged up to your eyeballs. And if you are one of the blessed ones and none of this is happening to you then it is certainly happening to your friends and family.

And yet in spite of all of this I have realised how precious life is and what a gift we have in each other. I wouldn't go back to my vacant 20's now (except it would mean I would have my Dad back).

I agree with the general sentiments, ( life loses its 'wow' factor as you get older ) but at 30 you're still relevant.

I think it's just more reality biting than anything else. After all, apart from losing loved ones, a lot of those issues are first world problems - the heartbreaking stuff going on in other countries makes us realise just how lucky we are in the west.

Holidays and Christmas are a good example. As a child they are magical. I remember a 3 week tour of California and the west coast when I was about 10; every day was unbelievable. Now I am the same age my DM was when we went, and I realise it's just not as much fun when you have to work your arse off for a year beforehand to pay for it, then deal with packing enough clothes for 4 people for 3 weeks and organise it all...

Life is still pretty good, it's just harder work I think!

It's ups and downs.

I'm another one with a difficult childhood plus poor background which held me back for ages. My 30s are when life really flowered for me. Then I had the kids, everything got difficult for a while and I'm just coming out of that bad patch.

Any particular reason for you feeling stale right now? Maybe you need a change of some kind.

At 49 my happiness comes from 3 of my 4 DC (1's NC). DS1's 26 and still makes me laugh every day with his dry sense of humour.

I think it's actually quite common to be hit with the reality of ageing at around 30. At 30 your youth is essentially over and you're in proper adult territory. Your body and skin begin to show signs of ageing rather than the vitality and bloom of adolescence and young adulthood. You might find your first lines and wrinkles and you may come to understand that you can't just keep going and shining forever.

I didn't care about turning 40 but I remember 28 hitting me like a sack of shit.

I love the fact I take more joy from seeing a beautiful sunset than spending money on more clothes or stuff.

I love the fact I cherish the important people in my life and happily walk away from people who give me major shit, without so much as a backward glance or regret.

I love the fact I now work to live not live to work.

These life pleasures come from appreciating priorities and realising life isn't perfect, so no point agonising or handwringing over stuff we can't change.