Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Do I drink too much?

321 replies

user1491413344 · 05/04/2017 18:35

I drink a bottle of wine every night. DH says this is too much and thinks I should stop.

Is it too much? Thought it was okay.

OP posts:
witchofzog · 05/04/2017 19:02

I personally love a drink and would also drink every night if I could. But I know it isnt good to do this so I restrict myself to 3 night's a week (around 3.5 pints of mid strength lager a night) Even then I still worry it is probably too much.

Work out the days you could go without a drink. Is there a night your dh goes out? You could have a really early night in fresh bedding and with a good book if you are feeling grumpy? In fact you could do this even if dh is in. Just one night to start with will make you realise you CAN do it

Original poster
user1491413344 · 05/04/2017 19:02

Can't remember the last time I had an alcohol free night. It was defintley before Christmas I just can't remember exactyly when.

OP posts:
Creampastry · 05/04/2017 19:02

You sound like an alcoholic and the fact you don't think it's an issue is worrying. Are you driving the next morning?

Original poster
user1491413344 · 05/04/2017 19:02

Donj't be mean.

OP posts:
ExplodedCloud · 05/04/2017 19:02

Might be. Might not be. Best thing you can do is let it recover.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 05/04/2017 19:03

It's hard if you're in the habit of drinking. You need to do it though OP.

kel1493 · 05/04/2017 19:03

I can easily drink that a night. I wouldn't say it's too much.
I don't need to drink at all, but I enjoy it.

Creampastry · 05/04/2017 19:03

Don't be mean? This is aibu and you are.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 05/04/2017 19:04

If I get the urge to drink on a non drinking day for us, I drink an alcohol free beer. That does the trick, and kills the urge.

Lovelilies · 05/04/2017 19:04

It may well be, OP.
You seriously need to stop. But if you're addicted (which I think you are) you'd be better cutting down by a glass a day.
See if there's an AA meeting near you, it won't do any harm, and may save your life and your marriage.

RochelleGoyle · 05/04/2017 19:04

OP, it sounds like you need to find other ways to relax. Is it possible that you are drinking so much because you are stressed/unhappy about something? You say it doesn't make you drunk, so what do you gain from it? Your GP might help by referring you to organisations who can help you work out why this habit has formed, and how you can change it.

witchofzog · 05/04/2017 19:05

The liver CAN replenish and heal itself. But you need to give it those alcohol free night's. I drink Thurs , Sat, Sun normally so I get 3 full days of no alcohol.

No one is saying you need to give up drinking but that you should consider cutting down significantly

Original poster
user1491413344 · 05/04/2017 19:05

I never actually thought about cutting down a glass a day. I just kept picturing cutting out a whole bottle a day which is scary.

OP posts:
withouttea · 05/04/2017 19:06

The fact you are posting about it, trying to seek reassurance that 'everybody else does it' probably means that you have a problem. Normal moderate drinkers don't need to do that.

Please do go to your GP to discuss options. Ironically enough it can be very dangerous to suddenly stop drinking if you are drinking a lot - there is a risk of fitting. You may need a proper detox.

ExplodedCloud · 05/04/2017 19:06

Has your DH never pointed out the units? You've never looked at a bottle and wondered what the numbers Meant?

misscarlar · 05/04/2017 19:07

I would buy some of those mini bottles - if you open a normal bottle you are going to drink it
Do you have dc at home or is it just you and dh? Could you go for a walk in the evening to unwind.

wowbutter · 05/04/2017 19:07

A long time ago I was like this. Except, I drank two bottles of wine, every night. Except when I was so sick I had to go without and have a stupidly early night.
I had to stop as I fell pregnant, unexpectedly. I was young and naive.
So, I went cold turkey and it sucked.
Now I barely drink, I mean, I do have the odd night when I will drink one bottle of wine, but that's every six months or so. And that's a celebration, and I feel crap after.
If you want to cut down, find another distraction. Exercis, snacks, reading, find something you like that can relax you. Yoga, a bubble bath, screaming into a pillow? Just find something less destructive to your health.
Why are you so stressed? Finding the route cause may be a help as well. Life shouldn't be stressful and hard every day.

KateDaniels2 · 05/04/2017 19:07

I just drink the wine and it keeps everyone happy.

Clearly not.

And no not everybody drinks every night. I probably have about one alcholic drink a week on average.

Plenty do drink every night but not a full bottle.

watchoutformybutt · 05/04/2017 19:10

You're an alcoholic and you need to address that for the sake of your health and your family's wellbeing. No point beating around the bush. Talk to your GO about quitting and take back control.

Dearlittleflo · 05/04/2017 19:11

OP, can I recommend this blog mummywasasecretdrinker.blogspot.co.uk/ It's a really fab resource and the people on there are very friendly and supportive.

As others have said, drinking a bottle a night is incredibly unhealthy and likely to be causing you problems now and setting up problems for the future. However, it's something that is easily normalised- you have a glass making dinner, then a glass with dinner, then one as you're washing up, or whatever- it's easy to consume a vast amount while feeling that you're just drinking normally. But from the pov of your health (physical and mental) it's anything but normal.

MrsKoala · 05/04/2017 19:13

is the problem if the wine is open you just keep drinking it till it's gone?

If so could you buy 1 mini bottle per day and have that? You could have a mocktail first ( I like a virgin mojito ) then the wine after withdinner. Get a small glass, one of the old 125ml ones (not like the new mahoosive ones) and then have 2 glasses (splash of soda if it's white wine?). Then have something strong flavoured like a cube of blue cheese or dark chocolate to put a different tast in your mouth (I drink peppermint and liquorice tea) to get the 'flavour' out.

Once you have weaned yourself down start cutting out a night a week. Then 2.

Take up exercise to get a rush from endorphins instead? I love spin and body pump.

Good luck.

Marmitelover55 · 05/04/2017 19:14

I was drinking nearly this much but have cut down since Christmas. I lost both of my parents last year and got in the habit of rewarding myself for getting through the day with wine.

Since Christmas I have stopped drinking in the week (unless I go out - which isn't very often). I am now drinking a bottle on Friday and Saturday and half a bottle on Sunday. I'm finding it much easier now as I think I have broken the habit and I don't generally think about wine in s school night now. My next goal is to cut out wine on either Friday or Saturday - I think this might be more difficult as I really associate wine with relaxing at the weekend.

Kikikaakaa · 05/04/2017 19:15

I did this for years OP, and also asked around if it was normal and found friends in fellow heavy drinkers. There is a lot of tolerance for 'mummy wine o'clock' in recent years to tell us it's relaxing.
I think you had good advice here, it's expensive and 5 times the guidelines.

What I will say is that I have been over 30 days alcohol free because I woke up one day and looked in the mirror and I looked awful. It shocked me. I had a hangover and sat there thinking why am I doing this? What is soooo stressful I need to medicate myself with booze? shouldnt booze be fun and social, not something to take the edge of a shit life? Is my life THAT shit that I need to do this?

I'm not an alcoholic. I am a person who drinks alcohol for the wrong reasons. I have an emotional attachment to alcohol. You don't have to label yourself as an alcoholic to recognise ok this isn't great, I need to address it.

The first 2 weeks were really really hard without it. I felt bereft! I got an app and it tracked all the money I was saving and my progress and that kept me going. I also realised I felt better... I look better. My mood is better. I sleep better. I am not really very stressed. Once the initial craving wore off, I realised I didn't need it for all this 'stress' and needed to address the stress... and it's a habit.

But you have to want to stop drinking. I think you should try to want to

thethoughtfox · 05/04/2017 19:15

'I get grumpy and snappy if I try to go without' That is a drink problem.

Mummyoflittledragon · 05/04/2017 19:16

Just to let you know I'm someone who hardly ever drinks. There are a lot of us about. I'm sorry you're struggling. I hope you find a way through this.