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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

MiL has been here 60mins...

279 replies

whatatod0 · 04/04/2017 15:27

Oh god. parents-in-law have been here 1 hour into a 7 day visit. They are already annoying me.
MIL likes to help/take over my kitchen and she doesn't listen when I tell her to go and sit down (nicely). If I give her a job to do she just gets in my way and takes forever to do it.
I want to run away for the week.

OP posts:
Dowser · 04/04/2017 15:29

7 days...that's a bit long.

InfiniteSheldon · 04/04/2017 15:30

One day you will be a MiL longing to see your ds' family and be helpful it won't kill you to be nice. She doesn't want to spend a week sitting on the sofa would you?

Original poster
whatatod0 · 04/04/2017 15:32

and she NEVER stops talking.

OP posts:
soupmaker · 04/04/2017 15:33

I'd love a MIL who'd help out. Mine sits down and rarely moves except for food. Make the most of it and give her a list of jobs to be getting on with. Better still crack open a bottle of wine and enjoy.

Itaintme · 04/04/2017 15:33

If she made no attempt to help out you would be on here moaning she expected to be waited on for a week.

Mils just can't win on MN.

soupmaker · 04/04/2017 15:33

Okay, I retract my post. Never stopping talking is a cardinal sin in my book.

leighb23 · 04/04/2017 15:33

Can you go out for days, take the situation out of doors may help x

wizzywig · 04/04/2017 15:33

Let her get on with it.

Original poster
whatatod0 · 04/04/2017 15:38

our dd is autistic too, so I have to deal with the fall out from dd too.

OP posts:
watchoutformybutt · 04/04/2017 15:40

You're brave. 7 days!!

Original poster
whatatod0 · 04/04/2017 15:41

they live a long way away!

OP posts:
DressMeUpInStitches · 04/04/2017 15:42

Sounds like my mil. Lovely, but only possible in small doses. Mainly due to the incesent talking at me.

VladmirsPoutine · 04/04/2017 15:42

I honestly think some people on MN would rather have satan himself as a guest that their MIL. They just can never win. Poor woman.

Original poster
whatatod0 · 04/04/2017 15:44

yes, mil is genuinely a lovely person. But she helps too much if that makes sense?? And ends up just interfering.
I've run away to my bedroom for 30 mins peace!!

OP posts:
MadisonAvenue · 04/04/2017 15:45

Oh fuck. This will be me tomorrow.
My MIL uses us as a stop off point while driving to visit friends in another part of the country. She's arriving tomorrow, leaving Thursday and then returning Saturday and staying for five days. Her stays are getting longer each time. It only used to be overnight on her way to visit and overnight on her way back home.
All she does is sit around moaning about things.
She's hard work and I run out of things to say to her after half an hour, I'm on edge all of the time she's here.
It's not even like she's here to spend time with grandchildren - they're grown up and out working and socialising.

aginghippy · 04/04/2017 15:46

YANBU I love my mil, but I wouldn't want her staying with me for 7 days.

Isn't part of the point of mn that you come on here and moan, rather than having a go at people irl?

missyB1 · 04/04/2017 15:46

My in laws are here for two weeks!!! We are currently on day 3 Sad

I'm just about coping.

ThouShallNotPass · 04/04/2017 15:47

Mine just insists she'll cook and then gives us food poisoning.
(She'll cook a roast beef then tell us how it's absolutely fine because she doesn't do that fridge nonsense and it's left in the oven for the three days it takes to eat. Yep. Heated up and carved, put back in to cool then heated for the next day's and the following day's dinner or sandwiches)
Chicken goujons are left out for an hour or so to partially defrost for cooking meaning the defrosted outer cooks fine and the yummy frozen centre is cramps, diahorrea and vomiting to follow.

Yay.

ExConstance · 04/04/2017 15:49

I feel very full of trepidation when I read threads like this, I have two sons. The amount of prejudice and nastiness towards MiL on here is very disturbing. I hope my sons eventually marry nice women or men who are friendly and easy going, not constant complainers.

AliceKlar · 04/04/2017 15:52

Am sure my SIL thinks I help too much, talk too much and get in the way but I can't bear to sit on my bum and be waited on when he and DD work so hard. I want them to be able to sit down to eat a meal they haven't had to prepare and to let them have a lie in at the weekend etc. It's a tricky one because I know what it's like when you are in all in close proximity. No matter how much you get on, it's stressful to both have guests and to be one. Hope the rest of your week isn't too grim. Must be extra stressful with DD being autistic. Keep calm and breathe evenly and slowly :)

RyanStartedTheFire · 04/04/2017 15:52

If people try to be nice MiLs they probably won't have any issues.. Some MiLs really are twats and deserve to be treated with contempt and held at arms length.

Iris65 · 04/04/2017 15:52

Sorry, with a DD who is autistic and finds the non stop talking upsetting I would restrict the length of the stays or arrange to visit them and stay in a hotel.
Sounds horrible and stressful.

fatowl · 04/04/2017 15:52

I once had my late MIL from 15 Nov to 3rd Feb ( we live overseas)

I feel your pain.
She liked to "help" and when I genuinely didn't have anything for her to do, she "would keep me company". She told me all about her neighbours and peopel at church. DH was left alone "because his work was so important" (he was looking at BBC Sport on his phone but was pretending to do work emails)
She was very well meaning but OMG

TiredMumToTwo · 04/04/2017 15:54

Wow, all power to you & others coping with similar, there's no way I could put up with more than two days!!

gingina · 04/04/2017 15:59

I hope my sons dont marry women like you.
Give her a break - she is your DH's mum and wants to help.
Hiding away in your room from her is rude. How would you feel if your DH was so rude to your Mum.
We will all be MILs one day!!

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