Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Was I U to wear the same outfit to two weddings?

405 replies

GameOldBirdz · 04/04/2017 09:16

Since Christmas, I've been to four weddings. I'm that age where everyone I know is getting married!

I wore the same outfit to three of these weddings. Two of these same-outfit weddings were the same crowd of people- family. My cousin, who was at both family same-outfit weddings, sent me a load of photographs yesterday and said in the email "It's a shame you couldn't be bothered to wear something different".

I replied to thank her for sending and said "I'm sorry if I offended you recycling my outfit, I'm cheap Wink". We have a good relationship, we're friends, I thought she'd take this in good humour. But no, she sent a massive paragraph saying I was disrespectful, that it was very bad show, it was rude and that if I didn't want to go I should have declined the invitation rather than turn up inappropriately dressed (her words).

I did want to go to both weddings, it wasn't remotely meant as a 'fuck you' to the couple getting married. I told my mum about it and she agreed with my cousin that it was inappropriate.

So now I'm doubting myself and worried that I've made a massive faux pas and that everyone hates me?

So, was I being unreasonable to recycle the outfit? I should say that I did use a different bag/ accessories for both weddings but the basic outfit was the same.

OP posts:
user1483387154 · 05/04/2017 00:34

She really is living in a different world to a lot of us.
I am pregnant and have a Tiffany Rose dress (bought in the sale) I am wearing to 2 weddings and a very formal function. Sod what anyone else thinks, I do not have the spare money to buy a new dress for each occasion

laughwithmeleelee · 05/04/2017 00:42

That's hysterical Grin you went to the wedding, I imagine you looked lovely to wanna wear the outfit again.....what's it got to do with anyone else!!! Wear it as many times as you want Wink

Twofurrycats · 05/04/2017 01:16

Tell her you are following the example of princess anne

ThePlatypusAlwaysTriumphs · 05/04/2017 01:21

Whaat? I'd think nothing of wearing same outfit! Madness! I would honestly think no one would notice! Apparently they would...Shock

ConfusedintheNorth · 05/04/2017 07:21

"It's a shame you couldn't be bothered to wear something different".... Yeah I'd have replied with something long the lines of "It's a shame you couldn't be bother to muster up a bit of class for the day!"

Seriously who the hell does this!? Tell her to get to f*ck!

purplecoathanger · 05/04/2017 07:46

I think it's touching on immoral to buy an outfit and only wear it once. People are starving and children are being killed and yet someone is moaning about your outfit. Well tell her to go fuck herself.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 05/04/2017 07:58

I never heard anything so ridiculous. And your mother really needs to stop worrying what people like her think.

The only wedding where I felt I really ought to wear something new was my own daughter's.

Eolian · 05/04/2017 08:04

She sounds shallow and stupid, as do all people who are that invested in their own appearance, never mind other people's.

fc301 · 05/04/2017 08:06

OP when you see her on Thursday you need to bring her attention to her own rank hypocrisy.
Her first message was unbelievably rude. You replied in a joky self deprecating manner.
Her second message was unforgivably bonkers (accusing YOU of being rude!!).

notgettingyounger · 05/04/2017 08:13

0010001 (may I call you Binary?) I applaud your minimalism. I am flabbergasted that people buy expensive outfits and wear them ONCE only! Wearing an outfit more than once is NOT "recycling", it's just the normal thing to do with clothes.

So, OP, I agree with all that YADNBU

BUT, there is no need to accentuate the rift and to wind up your newly married cousin on Thursday by wearing the jumpsuit. Unless you hate her and never want to be friends again. She was being U, possibly tired and stressed (you never know what is going on in other people's lives but weddings are definitely stressful). Hopefully she will have reflected and realised and will be apologetic. If not, then come back for more advice on Friday, but keep your dignity and your cool.

Greyponcho · 05/04/2017 08:20

YANBU, unless of course, the first wedding was your own and you just wore the same dress for the other three Grin

00100001 · 05/04/2017 08:30

notgettingyounger

Feel free to call me Binary, others do Smile

BerylStreep · 05/04/2017 09:09

time for a cousin clear out?

llangennith · 05/04/2017 09:12

I love your reply OPGrin

PinkFlamingo545 · 05/04/2017 11:53

I would wear the same outfit to weddings but never within the same social group - as people do notice but normally it is something that fok say behind your back

ArcheryAnnie · 05/04/2017 12:02

I am on the wrong side of fifty and have never ever heard any of my friends comment behind someone's back on someone having worn the same outfit twice, PinkFlamingo.

They might have commented to their front, if they recognised a particularly nice shirt or something, but not behind their back to be judgy. That's just weird and petty.

Lweji · 05/04/2017 12:09

A few points for your cousin.

It's not up to her to criticise what you wear.
It's not up to her to criticise what you wear for other people's weddings (not hers).
Nobody complains that the men wear the same outfit.
Going naked would have been disrespectful.
A dress is not inappropriate.
You were not at the Oscars.
You are not a millionaire (presumably).
She is being rude and disrespectful towards you.

Original poster
GameOldBirdz · 05/04/2017 15:24

Oh goody we've made the Daily Mail Angry

OP posts:
Shopkinsdoll · 05/04/2017 15:44

I was just going to say the daily mail lol

NoncommittalToSparkleMotion · 05/04/2017 15:48

Wtf? How is this journalism?

Lazy.

Original poster
GameOldBirdz · 05/04/2017 15:53

Wtf? How is this journalism?

I have no idea. I think I could be a DM journalist. It seems like they just sit around on MN and Reddit all day lifting stories. Sounds larvely....

OP posts:
FamilySpartan · 05/04/2017 15:56

I didn't RTT but did you manage to get to the bottom of why your cousin is such an arsehole?

ArcheryAnnie · 05/04/2017 15:58

They didn't even bother to write a proper article about it, just put comments on great lists of screenshotted posts. Lazy fuckers.

FerdinandsRevenge · 05/04/2017 16:07

"Anonymous internet woman claims cousin was rude to her about a dress"

That's a story?

FerdinandsRevenge · 05/04/2017 16:08

No offence meant to you OP obviously, it's a funny MN thread, but it's not bloody news!