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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think these women are arseholes?

482 replies

Flypaperforarseholes · 04/04/2017 03:35

Spent the weekend away with a group of women (most of whom I don't know) for a friend's birthday.
10 of us in total, 2 of whom (including the Laura, whose birthday we were celebrating) I have been friends with for 10+ years.
Shared a twin with Nora, on Sunday morning, before going to breakfast, we packed ready to check out. I then stripped the beds and collected the used towels together.
We went down for breakfast and Laura laughingly asked if I'd stripped the beds yet. It is a bit of a standing joke amongst us because it's something I've always done in hotels. One of the other women, Paula, asked what it was about and I explained. She was quite taken aback and asked why I felt the need to do it/don't I like to relax etc. She drew it to the attention of the whole group and took to calling me Mrs Mop for the rest of the day. A bit irritating but didn't bother me really.
This evening, a message from Paula came up in the watsapp group which had been set up at the planning stage of the trip.
"Thank you for a lovely weekend, girls. Laura, do give me flypaperforarseholes number, good help is so hard to come by these days. LOL!"
A few laughter emojis and "LOL"'s from some of the other women. Nothing from Paula or Nora yet.
Am I BU to think these women are arseholes?! It hasn't bothered me massively, in large part due to the fact that I found Paula a pretentious bore of a woman and thus give a minimum of fucks about what she thinks of me but I'm surprised that this such a small thing seems to have become quite the focal point for her. I'm assuming she doesn't realise I'm on the group chat because I haven't actually messaged on it. These women are school mum friends of Lauras and I don't want her to get caught in the middle so haven't replied...yet.

OP posts:
LindyHemming · 04/04/2017 03:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FrenchLavender · 04/04/2017 04:03

I think you need to lighten up and get a sense of humour. It was a very strange thing to do, you can't expect people not to give you a bit of light hearted teasing over it.

OldGuard · 04/04/2017 04:03

Let it go - people have different senses of humor - I think it's poor taste and shows a lack of awareness to make someone else feel uncomfortable - reflects worse on her really as she's probably completely unaware how it makes her look like a ignorant twit

BillSykesDog · 04/04/2017 04:04

Um, has it not occurred to you that Paula has picked up on your attitude towards her and is therefore not massively bothered about offending you. It is odd though, very odd, to strip the beds in a hotel.

Howlongtilldinner · 04/04/2017 04:05

If it were my actual friends that teased me about something, I would certainly join in with it, I would be hugely pissed off if people I didn't know from Adam did it!

YANBU to feel like you do. They are not familiar enough to 'tease' you. Cannot stand people like this, and believe me I can take a joke. Ignore WA group message, she's not your friend, and not worth getting embroiled in drivel.

FWIW I also put all the towels in the bath, but don't strip the beds, I'd happily be your room mate Grin

MrsTerryPratchett · 04/04/2017 04:08

A little gentle ribbing is fine.

Is there an undercurrent of class crap, though? She calls you Mrs Mop and you think she's pretentious. Do you think she's looking down on you?

rollonthesummer · 04/04/2017 04:08

I would reply on the thread-'thanks for a lovely weekend'. Just so that everyone knows that a) you've seen her post and b) you're not a bitch.

NameNotANumber · 04/04/2017 04:08

After reading the thread about the the hotel where they don't change bedding between guests that was here yesterday I think stripping the beds is a bloody good idea.

But OP I would ignore them.

TheClaws · 04/04/2017 04:15

I wouldn't let it bother you too much - they aren't your friends anyway. The only one that would matter to you is Laura, and from your OP it would seem she didn't take part in the ribbing. So that is a win for you. You are right not to respond to the whatsapp conversation as this could cause issues between Laura and her (odd) friends. Let it go.

SSR24479 · 04/04/2017 04:15

You already don't like the woman so you're just taking everything she says personally. Relax.

abbsisspartacus · 04/04/2017 04:23

Tell her she couldn't afford you add lots of smiley faces?

Atenco · 04/04/2017 04:40

It's just a joke, OP. Maybe not the smartest, but you have to be able to laugh at yourself. I find that jokes like that are inclusive rather than exclusive (I mean she is seeing you as one of the gang).

neonrainbow · 04/04/2017 05:25

It was a joke, and pretty funny. Its weird to strip the beds in a hotel room.

MyPerfectCousin · 04/04/2017 05:39

I put the towels in the bath and I strip beds in youth hostels. But never in a hotel. It's not part of the 'staying in a hotel' rules/etiquette/behaviour.

So you were a bit odd and people joked about it.

ScarlettFreestone · 04/04/2017 05:45

Regardless of whether it is usual to strip the beds in a hotel Paula's behaviour was unacceptable.

Calling the OP Mrs Mop is a put down. Referring to her as potential "help" is deeply crass.

We all have our foibles but cruelty shouldn't be one of them.

Flypaper put it out of your mind, just mark her in the "not worthy of my time column"

usefultoken · 04/04/2017 05:53

I actually think that sounds like a kind of affectionate joke, I would probably reply with my hourly rate. But I'm thinking something about this woman must be making you feel this way, so just ignore.

MuseumOfCurry · 04/04/2017 05:56

Stripping beds in a hotel is a curious habit. I'd let it go.

Henrysmycat · 04/04/2017 06:02

She's rude for sure. Maybe she picked on your attitude towards her and she's trying to gain control.
But stripping beds in hotels? Shock
I hate when visitors do it to me, I always tell them not to. We have a cleaner who does the bedding midweek (back problems, can't lift mattresses or heavy duvets) and when people strip the beds force me to change bedding or leave the mess for days till it gets done.

Rainydayspending · 04/04/2017 06:07

I always strip the hotel beds too. I'm not sure why that's even odd to some!
The bedding needs changing when i leave surely?

VintagePerfumista · 04/04/2017 06:15

Why you were away for the weekend with people you don't like?

I'd say that clearly the woman thinks you're all mates, and therefore she's able to joke with you.

She's clearly mistaken, on both counts.

It's no biggie.

The fact that they were surprised at you doing the housekeeping infers that it's a bit of an odd thing to do tbh. I'd be the same if one of my friends started doing it. Do you clear the breakfast tables as well? It's very nice of you to do it, but I doubt the hotel expects you to!

Giraffe31 · 04/04/2017 06:16

Maybe you could reply with a 'jokey' comment that Paula couldn't afford you

NightWanderer · 04/04/2017 06:20

Just text back "Wow, you're still going on about that? Weird"

Edballsisoneniftydancer · 04/04/2017 06:21

Yes I'm afraid I have got to say I think YABU.

The banter sounds tedious and not exactly Dorothy Parker-esque at worst, and inclusive and affectionate as Atenco says at best.

And as others have said, stripping the beds is a leeeeetle bit out there: if they really had been arseholes they would have been laughing AT you amongst themselves and behind your back. As it is they are laughing WITH you. I just cannot see a problem here.

Trifleorbust · 04/04/2017 06:24

They were rude.

I quite regularly strip the beds - it removes the option of 'smoothing down' the bed and letting some other poor bugger sleep on it. And in a good hotel where such practices do not go on, it's helping out the chambermaids who work like trojans. I'm fine with it.

Annahibiscuits · 04/04/2017 06:24

OP I always strip beds in hotels, too. I had no idea, other people don't do this