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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think these women are arseholes?

482 replies

Flypaperforarseholes · 04/04/2017 03:35

Spent the weekend away with a group of women (most of whom I don't know) for a friend's birthday.
10 of us in total, 2 of whom (including the Laura, whose birthday we were celebrating) I have been friends with for 10+ years.
Shared a twin with Nora, on Sunday morning, before going to breakfast, we packed ready to check out. I then stripped the beds and collected the used towels together.
We went down for breakfast and Laura laughingly asked if I'd stripped the beds yet. It is a bit of a standing joke amongst us because it's something I've always done in hotels. One of the other women, Paula, asked what it was about and I explained. She was quite taken aback and asked why I felt the need to do it/don't I like to relax etc. She drew it to the attention of the whole group and took to calling me Mrs Mop for the rest of the day. A bit irritating but didn't bother me really.
This evening, a message from Paula came up in the watsapp group which had been set up at the planning stage of the trip.
"Thank you for a lovely weekend, girls. Laura, do give me flypaperforarseholes number, good help is so hard to come by these days. LOL!"
A few laughter emojis and "LOL"'s from some of the other women. Nothing from Paula or Nora yet.
Am I BU to think these women are arseholes?! It hasn't bothered me massively, in large part due to the fact that I found Paula a pretentious bore of a woman and thus give a minimum of fucks about what she thinks of me but I'm surprised that this such a small thing seems to have become quite the focal point for her. I'm assuming she doesn't realise I'm on the group chat because I haven't actually messaged on it. These women are school mum friends of Lauras and I don't want her to get caught in the middle so haven't replied...yet.

OP posts:

Ampersand22 · 04/04/2017 06:25

I strip the beds in hotels and I leave a tip for the chambermaids because I've been one myself and it's shit. They have about 14 seconds to change a room, earn 0.5p an hour and seldom share tips from restaurant and bar.

But then I hang around with people who wouldn't make me feel like a cunt for doing a nice thing for someone else. It would have pissed me off too OP, but then people are always telling me to chillax. Usually by people who have never been a fucking chambermaid.

FluffyWhiteTowels · 04/04/2017 06:27

I would just ignore the message. That's what the two friends you know well are doing. Paula will be feeling foolish as no one has continued 'her joke' but it saves massive falling out / making mountain out of molehill.

Each to their own. I'm glad we're all individual and do things differently

Annahibiscuits · 04/04/2017 06:27

Exactly amp

OneOfTheGrundys · 04/04/2017 06:27

You said yourself it's a standing joke among you. I think she clumsily picked up on something between you and, rather meanly, used it for a little laugh. Life's too short to pursue silly slights imho. The waves you make from confronting this will be more stressful than letting it go and privately thinking what an arsehole the woman is (and how you didn't like her anyway).

MaisyPops · 04/04/2017 06:28

Sounds like an attempt at being funny.
She maybthink thats become some (not so funny) in joke in the group.

Either way, id send a poliye reply and not worry about it.

user1482248732 · 04/04/2017 06:31

Text back saying 'Great banter!'

PunjanaTea · 04/04/2017 06:32

No these women are not arseholes. One of them may be guilty of taking a joke too far at worst.

I have never heard of anyone stripping the bed in a hotel, so it is a bit unusual. You also say yourself that it's a topic that gets joked about between you and your friend, so that probably set the tone.

Edballsisoneniftydancer · 04/04/2017 06:32

That is truly another perspective Ampersand and one that honestly hadn't crossed my mind, and you are good people (seriously!)

However I really don't think it makes people who think it is a little weird 'cunts' (yeeeouch), nor are they cunts for developing it into a group 'joke' which clearly include the OP.

And am I alone in feeling a little judged by people who go the extra mile on the tidying up front as though they think I am a lazy slob

Edballsisoneniftydancer · 04/04/2017 06:35

Sorry, just read that properly Ampersand and realised you didn't call them cunts, you said they would make you feel like a cunt. Mea culpa.

However I still think if the OP feels like a cunt that is entirely of her own doing. But she after all is calling them arsehole.

Cunts, aresholes....bit of a theme developing here...

Mysterycat23 · 04/04/2017 06:37

Sounds like the most annoying thing OP is this new person jumped on something that is a standing joke between you and your friend. And she jumped on it in a fairly agressive and controlling way, belittling you in front of everyone. Your friend then didn't stand up for you and you were forced out of politeness to go along with this offensive nickname all day.

You did the right thing by taking the high road and playing along. By not kicking up a fuss you ensured your friend had a lovely time. Best thing is to carry on and stay in the moral high ground, from the sounds of it you won't have to spend time with this person in future.

flumpybear · 04/04/2017 06:38

Rude!!!
Are you a cleaner or do you have a job? I've got a colleague at work that once said when I loaned about my job,;'don't worry you can always be my housekeeper (he was joking) so I said well I don't even do my own cleaning so I'll just send my cleaner round for you .... again I was just joking - however reflecting on that, it could be a way to shut this rude woman up!
Why if you strip the bed? I often strip the sheets right back to see if I've left anything but stripping the bed I guess is a good way to air it a bit perhaps?!

Edballsisoneniftydancer · 04/04/2017 06:38

However I still think if the OP feels like a cunt that is entirely of her own doing

and by that I don't mean her own doing is because she stripped the bed (which I accept is potentially a nice thing to do) I mean she CHOOSES to feel like a cunt. But there again she has not said that, that was another poster.

Right, I must go...those hotel corridors are not going to hoover themselves.....

KarlosKKrinkelbeim · 04/04/2017 06:39

I guess it's just possible that this is an attempt at good natured banter which has missed the mark. Woman sounds like she has the tact and social skills of a housebrick. Don't sweat it. Your mate is still your mate.

Penhacked · 04/04/2017 06:40

The level of familiarity would piss me off too.

Edballsisoneniftydancer · 04/04/2017 06:41

But finally...OP you are a bigger person than me....hell will freeze over and melt again before I agree to share a room with someone I've never met. Crumbs that sounds salacious but you know what I mean!

eurochick · 04/04/2017 06:41

It sounds like it went a bit ott but I'd have ribbed a friend for doing it too. It's not what you do in a hotel.

wildpoppiesanddaisies · 04/04/2017 06:43

It is a bit strange to strip the beds IMO

Annahibiscuits · 04/04/2017 06:49

It's not weird, it's basic manners IMO. My 11 year old does it

Chloe84 · 04/04/2017 06:52

YANBU, OP. I think you're getting a hard time here. It sounds like you didn't take the Mrs Mop comments seriously, so not sure why people are trying to tell you to relax. But to take the rudeness even further but calling you the 'help' is pure bitchiness.

Paula's a cunt and so are her little sycophants who LOLd.

Much as I would be tempted to message back, I would just leave the group. They will see that someone''s left and wonder if it's you.

Rabbit01 · 04/04/2017 06:52

Edballs who are you ?! OP I think you should ignore and swerve to avoid in future, poor you xx

BalloonSlayer · 04/04/2017 06:53

After the thread the other day about them not changing the sheets in a top hotel, I think I might start stripping the beds myself from now on.

Actually you could forward a link to that thread to her! (and then hope she finds this one . . .)

Rabbit01 · 04/04/2017 06:55

Ps Edballs after reading OPs post I don't think she's called anyone names, are you the person?

NavyandWhite · 04/04/2017 06:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Rabbit01 · 04/04/2017 06:57

Ahh just reread comments from Edballs and it rather seems that they have hangups from their childhood. OP chin up, it wasn't you xx

Rabbit01 · 04/04/2017 06:59

Gosh leave OP alone all! Worse things could happen..erm...oh yes bullying!!

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