To think these women are arseholes?

[Flypaperforarseholes]

Spent the weekend away with a group of women (most of whom I don't know) for a friend's birthday.
10 of us in total, 2 of whom (including the Laura, whose birthday we were celebrating) I have been friends with for 10+ years.
Shared a twin with Nora, on Sunday morning, before going to breakfast, we packed ready to check out. I then stripped the beds and collected the used towels together.
We went down for breakfast and Laura laughingly asked if I'd stripped the beds yet. It is a bit of a standing joke amongst us because it's something I've always done in hotels. One of the other women, Paula, asked what it was about and I explained. She was quite taken aback and asked why I felt the need to do it/don't I like to relax etc. She drew it to the attention of the whole group and took to calling me Mrs Mop for the rest of the day. A bit irritating but didn't bother me really.
This evening, a message from Paula came up in the watsapp group which had been set up at the planning stage of the trip.
"Thank you for a lovely weekend, girls. Laura, do give me flypaperforarseholes number, good help is so hard to come by these days. LOL!"
A few laughter emojis and "LOL"'s from some of the other women. Nothing from Paula or Nora yet.
Am I BU to think these women are arseholes?! It hasn't bothered me massively, in large part due to the fact that I found Paula a pretentious bore of a woman and thus give a minimum of fucks about what she thinks of me but I'm surprised that this such a small thing seems to have become quite the focal point for her. I'm assuming she doesn't realise I'm on the group chat because I haven't actually messaged on it. These women are school mum friends of Lauras and I don't want her to get caught in the middle so haven't replied...yet.

[TestingTestingWonTooFree]

I don't think stripping the bed is basic manners in a hotel. It's part of the service you've paid for. It is a kindness to cleaning staff but i think it's pretty unusual. Basic manners is binning rubbish and leaving the room reasonably tidy so that they can do their job.

Perhaps they were trying to include you in the joke and it's just backfired. I wouldn't assume they were arseholes because of a humour mismatch. You're not likely to see them again so I'd just let it go.

[sandgrown]

I agree Ampersand. I have owned a hotel and been a chambermaid and I loved people who stripped the bed ! Just ignore the comment OP . Not worth making your real friends feel awkward.

[youarenotkiddingme]

Maybe put on a reply.

I charge £100 an hour - more if I have to listen to your crap jokes whilst working.

I also strip beds in hotels and put towels in bath. The staff have such a quick turnover and I've worked in hotels so for me it just feels like a little silent solidarity!

[Edballsisoneniftydancer]

Rabbit No I am not the person and OP asked if she was BU to think these women were arseholes. Sounds a bit like name calling to me. Not criticising her for for it, just saying....

And I was just trying (and failing, obs!) to draw a humorous para
llel between the various epithets that were being used!

And you are SO right about the hangups from my childhood! Projection is my middle name! But it can be me and OP at the same time...the two points are not mutually exclusive!

[MaisyPops]

Bullying? hmm
Do you mean disagreeing with someone?
Theres been quite a few posts lately where disagreement is being called bullying and abuse. Just like any badly timed joke is bullying and any situation where theres an argument in a relationship is abuse.

OP, the woman sounds like she was attempting to be funny but failed massively. If someone you liked had made that (rubbish) joke i dont think youd be this wound up. I think the fact you dislike this woman is affecting how you view it.

[Edballsisoneniftydancer]

Navy....bang on!

Bullying?Do you mean disagreeing with someone?

It is kinda worries me too when people use the word bullying so freely. Sort of demeans it when it actually happens. Bullying is very serious and to be called out at any and every opportunity. I see no bullying here, either in the OP's account of what happened or in any of the replies.

[Edballsisoneniftydancer]

And Maisypos ...bang on you too!

[Nocabbageinmyeye]

Stripping the hotel bed is not weird at all, I do it and having worked it hotels for years I can tell you its pretty common too. Loads of people strip the beds and put the towels in the bath, as in, you would see it daily.

I would just reply " Jees Paula you must have had a very boring weekend if your still going on with this one lame joke , lovely weekend everyone, thanks again "

I'd say nor so much a bitch but one of those annoying people who don't know when things stopped being funny and keep going on and on about them

[Edballsisoneniftydancer]

I meant


and Maisypops ....you've got it bang on too

[Trifleorbust]

Saying you think it's unusual for someone to strip the bed isn't the same as naming them 'Mrs Mop', is it? If you have a long-term friendship with someone that's different, but a friend of a friend? Bloody rude. I don't think I would say 'bullying' necessarily but if that sort of behaviour continued then I would.

[JustABitOfUncertainty]

I absolutely didn't realise that stripping the beds in a hotel was odd
Paula's level of familiarity was way off the mark
I can't stand people who don't know me calling me names, branding me
I would never go away for a whole weekend with a group a women I don't know; I certainly would never share a room with a woman I've only just met
Admittedly I am quite highly strung, have some degree of social anxiety, I am a sensitive introvert and extremely shy, so Paula's behaviour would have made me feel the same as you.

Many other woman would not have given it a second thought or would have retaliated.

[JustABitOfUncertainty]

I don't think you should reply what Nocabbageinmyeye has suggested because it's bitchy. Just respond to say 'thank you everyone for an amazing weekend', and leave it as that.

And then forget all about it, I think half the people here agree with you and the other half think you should relax, which just goes to show that different personalities react differently to situations and in your case you might have internalised Paula's wanky comments.

[ComeOnSpring]

Let it go.
I think you are over-reacting and over analysing. You say you don't care, but you clearly do. You probably will never see her again. It wasn't deliberately malicious - she probably though she was being funny, but has over-stepped the mark.
Just leave the wassap group and get on with your life.

[Trifleorbust]

I think people who don't strip the beds probably feel a bit judged by people who do (I couldn't care less if someone else does it or not), so the comment she made are probably passive aggressive, based on her thinking you think she is dirty.

[LaContessaDiPlump]

I'd reply with ':D thanks for a lovely weekend Laura! Big hugs xxxx'

Something like that anyway, so that a) they know you're there and b) they can't accuse you of having got the hump.

I do get the impression that you might not have minded the 'banter' so much if it wasn't from Paula though; sounds like she rubbed you up the wrong way.

[FindoGask]

Another ex-chambermaid bed stripper here! It doesn't take long but it's a big help to someone who is supposed to clean an entire room and bathroom in 15 minutes. Hardly "weird"... Some very precious flowers on this thread!

That said, I think this woman's remarks were ill-judged joshing and because you don't know her or like her they've come across all wrong.

[Ampersand22]

Navy if the act of stripping a bed gets on someone's nerves then these people are indeed cunts and should stop having a fucking pseudo middle-class crisis over it and make the OP feel like shit for helping the help, because they are not the fucking Kardashians let's face it.

People shouldn't tease others if they don't know them well. If they get offended and their nerves got-on (aw diddums) because of a random act of stranger kindness, they are the problem. They sound like money/status tossers.

Whether or not, dear reader, you strip beds or no, if you would take the piss out of the OP, who you barely know by the way, for doing it then you'd indeed be an arsehole.

[WhatWouldLeslieKnopeDo]

My ex had friends who were a bit like this. Their behaviour was a lot nastier at times. But I just thought they were a bit sad really. They'd recently finished uni and had the shock of full time jobs and responsibility. So I think they were trying to feel like they were still in that hilarious student phase where everything becomes an in-joke and there's lots of "banter".

I would imagine Paula is probably a bit insecure and wants to feel popular/cool/funny. If I were in the group I'd just think she was silly and annoying, so I expect others are inwardly rolling their eyes, even if they're replying "LOL".

I'm not sure it's fair to brand the whole group as arseholes. They may think you are in on the joke, especially as Laura brought it up. But Paula is annoying and possibly an arsehole, and Laura should not have mentioned it in the first place.

[SemiNormal]

Referring to her as potential "help" is deeply crass. - Absolutely this!

I used to work as a chambermaid for about 2 years. People stripping their own beds was not uncommon at all. I didn't mind stripping the beds myself BUT there were times when people left questionable stains on the beds and I did wish they'd have stripped the beds themselves, I know I would have in that situation, still it's what I was paid for so I just got on with it.

[ThoraGruntwhistle]

'You couldn't afford me, love.'
Not really. It's a pretty pointless thing to bring up really. At least you're ensuring the next guests get clean sheets. I'd find it slightly odd if someone stripped the bed in a hotel but only in a 'hmmm. Okay.' kind of way. Not worth mentioning and certainly not funny enough to joke about.

[Imamouseduh]

It is really weird to strip beds in hotels. Sounds like you don't have much of a sense of humour either because that all sounds quite lighthearted to me.

[JustABitOfUncertainty]

Imamouseduh, half of us in this thread don't find it in the slightest funny, that doesn't mean we haven't got a sense of humour. Perhaps other people have a different sense of humour. Perhaps being called names by someone you hardly know simply isn't funny.

[MuseumOfCurry]

there were times when people left questionable stains on the beds and I did wish they'd have stripped the beds themselves

I've stripped beds that my kids have peed or vomited on for certain, but it strikes me as nice to the point of patronising to strip them as a matter of course.

I leave a tip, always, because it is a shit job.