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Child taken into care for being locked in the bedroom all night...
207

Raisensaretoddlercrack · 03/04/2017 20:31

Today this popped up on my news feed;

www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2017/04/02/grandparents-claim-child-taken-away-social-services-locked-bedroom/

I imagine the child was already on the radar of social care, however it did panic me a bit because we have a lock on our DDs' bedroom door and it has made me reevaluate.

It's just a small slide bathroom door lock that we use instead of a baby gate to stop our 2 and 3 year old exploring after we have put them to bed. We thought it would be safer than a gate as if they could open the door they would mess about with it and risk getting fingers caught in the hinges. We still use a video monitor as they like to play for a while before going to sleep so they are still supervised. They have never asked us to leave the door open so it doesn't distress them in any way. For context, their bedtime routine is good and they are always happy to go to bed.

When we go to bed we open the door to their room so it is ajar and use a gate at the stop of the stairs in case of night time wandering. We leave our door ajar so they can come in to wake us in the morning with cuddles.

The lock is very flimsy and with a bit of pressure would open easily in event of a fire/emergency ect.

AIBU to lock them in their bedroom in the above circumstances or do I need to take it off? I'm doubting myself now! Thank you.

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Basecamp21 · 25/05/2017 18:25

My daughter is a firefighter and she says if all your doors are closed at night and you have a working smoke detector it is incredibly unlikely you will die in a house fire as your smoke detectors will give you enough warning and the doors will contain the fire long enough for you all to get out and raise the alarm.

Fire deaths happen when one of these is missed.

Small children tend to be the ones who die in fires because when scared they hide and firefighters cannot see well enough in smoke filled rooms to even see if it is a child's room never mind find the child.

If you really want to protect your child in a fire put bolts high up on wardrobes and make sure they cannot get under beds. Stair gates can hinder a firefighter for just as long as a bolted door.

But closing all doors at night and having functioning smoke detectors is all you really need.

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grandadblackrain1951 · 30/05/2017 08:55

Your comment incensed me - "I promise there will be much more to it than that" you obviously do not know social services - We had a fight with social services for 2.5 years from the time she was born - so agree we were on their radar but a battle for 2.5 years and our crime was caring for her, loving her and looking after her and absolutely nothing else apart from not being approved by them. At one point we had her taken off us - and we were before 5 different judges and in five different courts in one week for a bruise on her face - she was examined by our GP then taken to hospital and examined xray'd and a report written stating the bruise to her face could not have occurred accidentally - this bruise didn't even occur in our care (not that we could prove that) so how big do you suppose this bruise was - fist size - NO the size of the nail on my little finger. After that we became paranoid - as knew were just bidding their time and looking for a reason to take her yet again - so by trying to protect her in case she fell off our granite work surfaces onto a solid concrete floor with granite tiles (as she was climbing onto work surfaces to get toaster out of cupboard to cook herself toast in the middle of the night - 3.00am as she was wandering round house and was tired and grumpy next day at school. I can prove everything I have said - you have no idea what losing our grand daughter feels like - I can no longer sleep at night as too much time to think about her.

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grandadblackrain1951 · 04/07/2017 21:58

Yes she was on SS radar as they had tried for 2.5 years to take her and used a bruise the size of the nail on my little finger as the excuse. The judge in the case Judge Hughes said she hoped social services had learnt their lesson but seriously doubted it. After the incident of the tiny bruise which we were in 4 different courts before 4 different judges before getting her back but this 2.5 year battle made my wife (normally a very strong character) so depressed she was on anti depressant tablets and also very paranoid she use to follow her around to pluck her off things before/in case she fell. So when her nan was ill and the six year old wanted to cook her chucky eggs (what her nan did her when she was ill) she was worried about the cooker which lit immediately you turned the knob (she had already taken to wandering around the house at night) so my wife ordered a new cooker express delivery and I locked my grand daughter in her bedroom as my wife was getting upset over the fact that she was also tired and grumpy at school for not getting enough sleep and had slapped a teacher on the arm and another child across the face and thought just our luck that the night before the cooker was to arrive she would try to cook the eggs and burn herself as again our grand daughter bought up the subject of cooking her nan some eggs to make her better (because they were making something together and wanted her nan well enough to finish it) - so she had been locked in her bedroom twice since she was a baby and the other time was because she sneaked out of the house after being put to bed whilst we were watching tv and it was too late to purchase a lock for the top of the door. So all you that said got to be more than what reported in the news papers - you have obviously never had any contact with them. To all of those people - I say try digging around on the net and you will find a few cases not many because if we talk about our case or experience then we could end up in jail as we are not allowed to divulge any information on our case.

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LouHotel · 04/07/2017 22:08

We bought our current house when we were childless but the previous owners had a toddler and there was a catch lock on the outside of the second bedroom. It freaked me out a bit.

However we now have a toddler and i realise the reason they had the catch is because the spindles on the stair case bannister are far apart enough for a baby/toddler to get through, if we cant get this fixed then the latch is going to have to stay. (but she's still in with us for the minute)

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BeepBeepMOVE · 04/07/2017 22:15

Locked in a room with someone talking over a monitor!?

Sound like very many horror movies. Why would you do this to your children- so cold!

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tearsinmyeyes · 04/07/2017 22:26

Don't lock them in of course
They shouldn't be playing for an hour - they should be tired enough to go to sleep
But there's hysteria when it comes to brits and bedtime . You must have a two hour bedtime routine involving baths and books or you are a bad parent apparently ( no wonder most of us are burnt out and exhausted and start threads on how much we miss our childless days and hate parenting ).
At that age, my three year old had clean pjs and a kiss goodnight while id stroke her hair and sing a song - took ten min. She didn't want a bedtime story every night and she showered after nursery.
My then two year old would lie down next to me as we co slept. There was honestly no faffing around .
My 1 year old feeds to sleep .

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Pop24 · 04/07/2017 22:32

Jesus Christ just do what works for you. My 2 yo is in a cot which she can't get out of with her bedroom door (which she can't open) shut. It's no different. I've never given it a second thought tbh.

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