Men on gynae ward

[roarityroar]

Yesterday I was taken into hospital after heavy bleeding. I needed a blood transfusion and then went into theatre for surgery. They ask you to keep all sanitary pads to show how much you're bleeding, which is obviously very personal and after the general anaesthetic I felt groggy and vulnerable.

There are 4 beds in this ward with curtains. Two of the other three women have their partners here. I feel pretty vulnerable as it is and given it's the gynaecology ward AIBU to really not want random non-HCP men just a curtain away when I'm bleeding from my sodding vagina?

Sorry should've said - this was not during visiting hours. It was through the night and all morning. Visiting isn't until 3pm.

I'm with you, OP.

I don't think that men should be there all night, no. I think there can be a bit of leeway with visiting hours, but not to that extent and not to the detriment of other patients

unreasonable. all the other women on the ward will most likely be feeling vulnerable too I'm afraid, so are very much entitled to have their partners/husbands there whatever the time of day.

even at night, willo?!

YANBU. Come to Bath hospital, men are allowed to stay on the pre-natal and post natal wards, you can then have a lovely running argument with nurses on why you want the curtains shut.

Sorry but YABU, I can understand your discomfort but if those women want their partners etc for support then it's not up to you to dictate what gender is allowed to visit!

all the other women on the ward will most likely be feeling vulnerable too I'm afraid, so are very much entitled to have their partners/husbands there whatever the time of day

I disagree. No problem with them being there during actual visiting hours but patients should also get a chance to rest and recuperate without visitors there. I wouldn't be happy with having non-patients hanging about permanently.

even at night hazeyjane. how are we to even know why those women are there, why they need their partners to be their during the night?

I could've had my partner here but chose not to because I know I don't like random men out of visiting times (at all, to be honest). I think the privacy of patients should come first. Calling a nurse because I started bleeding heavily again and then having to get to the toilet in a gown that only ties up so there's gaps, while covered in blood, was made 100x worse for me because there were two men I didn't know a metre or so away, hearing everything and for all I knew they might have been walking outside the curtains so would see me.

They have a right to be there for their loved ones.

Thanks Penelope.

The nursing staff have been wonderful and supportive.

Yeah. I wish they didn't though.

🙄 the whole point I am making is that those women in the other beds with their partners there at that time of the night may be in a much worse situation than yourself? at the same time, maybe they aren't. empathy?

In our lovely health service I'm afraid you hand in your dignity at the door when you arrive and collect it when you leave.

So would it be alright if the visitors were female?

You can't have a situation where partners are allowed to stay all night on a ward full of women, many of whom may be very vulnerable. I have no problem with partners there at visiting hours, and understand if sometimes it is just outside of visiting hours, but having partners there all night (whatever their sex) isn't acceptable.

I cannot relax with strange men around when I'm this vulnerable. Visiting hours are there for a reason. It's just selfish and indicative of women's privacy being an after thought yet again.

Currently sat on a gynae ward waiting for an ERPC. Wish I had my husband with me but it's outside of visiting hours so y'know he's not here which sucks. Sometimes exceptions should be made and spouses should be allowed on wards out of visiting hours. Sucks for your dignity but I really care not one bit for the other patients right now.

Hazey - thank you for putting it better than I did, I totally agree.

I fail to see why the privacy should be paramount here over and above other patients having support from family. You don't know
The reason the other persons DH was there she may have been extremely ill. May have have sexual trauma and therefore needed support during examination. I feel
For you op I do but everybody here saying men shouldn't be allowed on these wards just emphasises how phobic we are over anything to do with ladies bits and bleeding. Why is a man any different to a woman being there? I highly doubt they are getting off on it.

I'm sorry you're going through this but I think you are being a bit unreasonable. If the men are there visiting their partners who have also had gynae surgery, then surely they know that a gynae ward is to do with vaginas? They'll be concentrating on their own loved ones surely?

Hope you're feeling better soon.

YANBU at all if it was through the night! That's pretty shocking...

Of course visitors of both sexes have to be allowed in during daytime visiting hours, which shouldn't be too restrictive, but not through the night! When did that become normal?

I'm actually quite outraged on your behalf...

Get well soon

willo - of course, there may be, but I'm afraid that doesn't mean they can stay all night. Nothing to do with empathy, everything to do with safety and respecting the dignity of all patients.

I don't think any visitors should be allowed to stay all night - male or female.

In hospital, you will get no more privacy than a curtain will afford you. I spent a fair bit of time on gynae during and after my pregnancy. Admissions are made in the middle of the night and many women who are miscarrying want their DP with them as they do so. There are also those who may have driven their DPs hundreds of miles to hospital and wait with them while they get a diagnosis.