WIBU to have abandoned this guy at a petrol station?

[HeadFairy]

So I'm coming home from a late shift, it's half past midnight and I pull in to an unmanned Asda petrol station round the back of a 24hour store to get some petrol. I notice a young guy in a hoodie standing a few feet away from the pumps, he appears to be on his phone. I fill up and as I finish he comes up to me and asks if I'm able to call him a taxi as his phone has run out of charge and could I call him a taxi. I'm not local so finding a taxi number would have involved me standing there for a few minutes having a look on google, and I wasn't keen. No real reason, he was really apologetic and polite, but I just wasn't keen. There are a few shops around there, so I thought maybe he could walk and see if there was a taxi shop somewhere locally. But now I'm feeling a bit bad that I left him there. So WIBU?

He was hanging around an unmanned patrol station late at night and approaches a lone woman- And you think his intentions were innocent?

You weren't unreasonable at all and you didn't abandon him. I would have reacted exactly the same as you. Don't beat yourself up.

He looked to be on the phone when you first noticed him so why didn't he call a taxi then before his battery ran out? It takes 2 minutes to call a taxi.

If there are shops and lorries unloading and ASDA staff around why is he approaching a lone woman instead of them? If he was genuinely in need then surely you go to the place where people are?

Why would an unmanned petrol station be a good idea to ask for help at when you have no car? You go where people are and the noise is, which in this case is the shop nearby where lorries are unloading.

I would have gone as well. If no one else had been there I might have called a taxi from in my locked car but it all just feels too set up. Finding and calling a taxi is a distraction and that may be what he wanted to be able to rob you or similar. You really have no idea. If i'd seen him before I got out of the car I wouldn't even have stopped tbh. A lone young man in a petrol station with no car screams dodgy set up to me.

He had other options (ASDA staff and lorry drivers) approaching you seems like the most stupid option tbh.

Go with your instincts. What was he doing hanging around an unmanned petrol station late at night?

I live in a city where 24hr supermarkets are open 24hrs, 24hr fast food restaurants are open 24hrs and 24hr taxi company's are open 24hrs. Crazy or what!!???

Yes me too.

As for OP, you were not being unreasonable. He could have asked one of the lorry drivers or walked to somewhere taxis could be picked up on the street.

Rebel not true, we have a Tesco superstore around the corner they open at 12.01am Monday morning.

Op yanbu at all, trust your gut if you felt uncomfortable that absolutely the right thing to do,

I would be willing to bet that petrol station had CCTV which may have curbed any nefarious intentions he had! You were still wise to leave.

After reading The Gift Of Fear I've learned that appearing rude to a stranger isn't always a bad thing. That trusting your guts can literally save your life.

Most men I know wouldn't dream of approaching a lone woman in the middle of the night. A nice, kind genuine man approaching a loan woman in the middle of the night will totally understand why she'd be uncomfortable and not help. A man who isn't nice, kind and genuine will be pissed off, annoyed and/or offended that the lone woman he approached isn't putting him before her own comfort.

You could have been on here telling a whole different story. Thank God you aren't. Why didn't he just ask at the petrol station hatch? You are safe and thats the main thing. It only takes once to fuck your while life up. Maybe he was perfectly innocent in which case he'll have moved on to find a taxi by other means, but maybe he wasn't innocent in which case we don't even want to think of the consequences. No matter What, you always out your own safety first. Some things just aren't worth the risk. You help others when you can ensure your own safety first.

You were wise to do what you felt necessary at the time. You weren't responsible for getting him home, at 20+yo, he was responsible for that. So don't feel bad. If he was genuinely needing help he'll learn to prioritise his phone battery or make better arrangements for getting home next time and if he was up to no good then he didn't attack you. It might not be great to have to sit and wait until morning to get the first bus/train home, but he won't melt overnight. Alternatively someone who felt safer might have helped him (the delivery drivers or shop staff where more than one person is around, or the next person arriving at the petrol station).

TBH, I'd have done exactly the same, I often say to people asking directions that I don't know and carry on walking if it doesn't feel wise to stop. I'm not their sat nav and if they haven't got directions/map or have a smart phone, then I'm not responsible for getting them to their destination either. I stop and help on my terms, when it feels safe to do so.

Not being unreasonable at all, but you're female so however you behave will be criticised by some.

joystir59 two of us on here have said we have gotten lost on the way back from uni.
I would head to where ever i thought people would go to, so yes a petrol station!

YANBU!

In fact, congratulations on listening to your instincts. You did the right thing. What a fucking job society has done on women, to get us second guessing ourselves like this, letting the pressure not to appear rude or the imperative to accommodate others override the need for basic physical safety.

You didn't walk past him dying of dehydration in the Empty Quarter. He had options and his lack of planning was not your emergency.

If you felt uncomfortable I think you were fine to leave. I would've done exactly the same.
No one owes another stranger anything...

All of the 'oh but he might just have' people, he also may have had very bad intentions.
There were other options available - like him using his own fucking phone before it 'died' or walking to one of the lorries where it's almost a dead cert that the drivers would have a phone or radio.
Most Asda petrol stations are a bit off the beaten track - why didn't he make his way towards a cab rank/office/phone box/main road to flag a hackney.

I (like to think) would have shouted over to him - stay over there, what address are you going to? I'll call you one when I get home to my phone.
If he was dodgy-there would be nothing stopping him smashing her window whilst she was distracted googling.
Cctv would only pick up a hooded figure rather than his face too.

Seriously - read The Gift of Fear.
OP you did the right thing.

kali110 You being lost on the way back from university is not a problem for women to solve late at night at an unmanned petrol station. You should approach other men for help in such a situation. How does a presumably intelligent student 'get lost'?

I wouldn't give a fuck about a young man stranded in a situation like this. My instincts would scream loud and clear for me to leave.

Yanbu OP! I was attacked by a stranger many years ago and he used his phone as a bit of a disarming technique! Trust your instincts.

You were right to listen to your instincts.

I'm a bloke and if I ever got into a situation like this then I wouldn't dream of approaching a lone woman for help.

There were other people around so he could have asked them. The fact that he didn't and he was talking on his phone merely seconds before he claimed his battery had died is highly suspect.

OP, you did the right thing. He had other options, IMO.

You acted sensibly.

Trust your instincts, you felt that something was wrong and I strongly suspect you were right.

Don't give it another thought now 🌺

YANBU OP

These things are split second decisions. He was a 6-foot 20-something- hardly vulnerable.

I'm sorry, whether anyone thinks the op was unreasonable or not is irrelevant - you aren't supposed to use a mobile phone on a petrol forecourt for fire safety reasons. If the lad ain't got the sense to avoid blowing himself up then he probably needs more help than the op could possibly have given! As do, apparently, many others...

YANBU. It's far better to be paranoid than assaulted or worse.

Threads which start with 'So....' get me bristling straight away and I think this is a made up scenario. However, if it were true, then op did the right thing.