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AIBU?

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Original poster

WIBU to have abandoned this guy at a petrol station?

222 replies

HeadFairy · 03/04/2017 01:05

So I'm coming home from a late shift, it's half past midnight and I pull in to an unmanned Asda petrol station round the back of a 24hour store to get some petrol. I notice a young guy in a hoodie standing a few feet away from the pumps, he appears to be on his phone. I fill up and as I finish he comes up to me and asks if I'm able to call him a taxi as his phone has run out of charge and could I call him a taxi. I'm not local so finding a taxi number would have involved me standing there for a few minutes having a look on google, and I wasn't keen. No real reason, he was really apologetic and polite, but I just wasn't keen. There are a few shops around there, so I thought maybe he could walk and see if there was a taxi shop somewhere locally. But now I'm feeling a bit bad that I left him there. So WIBU?

OP posts:
SailAwayWithMeHoney · 03/04/2017 08:24

YWNBU. As many others have said, why was he at a petrol station without a car?
Why didn't he approach the kiosk?
Why didn't he find a payphone?

blueskyinmarch · 03/04/2017 08:26

There is no way on earth i would have hung about in an unmanned petrol station at 12.30am making calls for an unknown male. Call me an arse but i would always prioritise my own safety. This man sounds young and able bodied and able to walk somewhere more populated to look for a taxi or a bus. OP was right to refuse to help in this situation.

pringlecat · 03/04/2017 08:28

Why was he in a petrol station without a car? If he had the means for pay the taxi, he could afford to top up his car with petrol to get home. If no car, well, surely the most likely reason is he was waiting to pounce on a driver?

Sounds to me like you listened to your gut. The advice from the Suzy Lamplugh Trust is "trust your instincts". You did. That was not unreasonable.

blargargle · 03/04/2017 08:30

I'm shocked at people saying she should have stayed. This is the oldest trick in the book for muggers, ask someone to use their phone, snatch it and run when they get it out! How do people not know this? It's like asking someone the time at night so you either get your phone out or show them if your watch is worth stealing.

And that's without the fact that he had his hood up to avoid cctv and was hanging around an unmanned petrol station . If I was desperate for a phone I'd walk to where lots of people were so I'd have more chance of finding someone.

deadpool99 · 03/04/2017 08:35

Yanbu - why would young man be hanging around unmanned petrol station for help ?

AwaywiththePixies27 · 03/04/2017 08:35

By 'put you out' do you mean you were scared he might mug you if you got your phone out?

Because Asda is usually littered with cctv so if he was a loitering criminal, he'd be pretty stupid to attempt it anyway.

I got lost on my way home from uni once. About a month in. My battery had gone. I had no credit. A random man took pity on me after asking several strangers and let me use his phone to ring my then boyfriend to come and get me.

YWbeingabitU yes.

deadpool99 · 03/04/2017 08:36

Exactly what blargargle said. Distraction technique.

roses2 · 03/04/2017 08:39

Mobile phones at a petrol station? I'd have ordered him to switch it off before you all went up in flames.

lol! Mobiles cause the fuel counters to work erratically, they don't cause fires.

SailAwayWithMeHoney · 03/04/2017 08:41

Mobiles cause the fuel counters to work erratically, they don't cause fires. Is THAT why we can't use them?! I never knew that Grin

sobeyondthehills · 03/04/2017 08:42

For me personally it depends on a lot of factors, like if you are in England or Scotland.

Also near me, there is a train station a massive 24 hours tescos but sod all else for at least 4-5 miles. If someone who didn't know the area got off at that train station, the first thing they would see is the Tescos and head there, but everything would be shut (live in England) under those conditions I might help.

Depends on age as well, young man could be anything.

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 03/04/2017 08:43

If men as a class want women to help them at midnight in deserted petrol stations, then men as a class have to stop raping and assaulting women.

OP did nothing wrong, she played the odds and took a decision which seemed to offer less risk.

I am the mother of a son by the way.

SarahOoo · 03/04/2017 08:55

Anyone who is saying she should have done anything different to what she did, were not there and cannot 100% say they wouldn't have done the same if it was them. I believe the OP didn't have to ask the question here, he will be fine and guaranteed he'd have figured it out and got home in the end.

Your safety must come first. Yes the OP could have said 'I'll do it from the car...' etc etc but when you are in those moments you don't have time to think and honestly, I feel your common sense prevailed.

SaveMeBarry · 03/04/2017 09:10

YANBU at all Op and there are a couple of posters on this thread who I can only assume aren't the sharpest if they really, truly can't see why you'd have been concerned in this situation.

As regards phoning a taxi from the car, surely you would first have to engage with him enough to get a name and destination to give to the taxi company? Maybe it's different in the UK but where I am a taxi wouldn't just be sent to pick up some man at a petrol station after a phone call from a woman who isn't even able to give the would be customers name or destination Hmm

We are entitled to have regard for our own safety over an unknown man and you were right to go with your gut.

diddl · 03/04/2017 09:12

I never rarely a mobile phone with me, so more than likely I wouldn't have been able to help.

CatsDogsandDC · 03/04/2017 09:13

I'm a Londoner so may be more cynical than most but no way would I have done anything other than get in my car sharpish and drive away. Mugging your phone, carjacking and hustling for money would have been my first thoughts and I bet it was one of them.

Very suspicious that he is hanging around approaching lone women. You did the right thing OP because the downsides of not listening to your gut are too great.

diddl · 03/04/2017 09:13

Sorry that should be very rarely!

Trifleorbust · 03/04/2017 09:15

I don't think you were unreasonable not to go fishing in your bag for your phone in the middle of the night at an unmanned petrol station. It's not great for the lad, as he was probably perfectly genuine, but I think ou are entitled to put your own safety first. He could have approached a 6 foot, burly man for the same favour (and probably got it) as soon as you left.

ScrambledSmegs · 03/04/2017 09:20

You did absolutely the right thing, OP. He could have gone into the 24 hour Asda to get help, instead he approached a lone woman at an unstaffed petrol station at night? Which, if he was genuinely in need of help, I'm sure he did.

JennyOnAPlate · 03/04/2017 09:21

I would have done exactly the same as you op. There have been a number of car jackings in my area lately, one of which took place at night in a petrol station. It's not worth the risk, especially when there was a shop nearby he could have asked at.

TwoDrifters · 03/04/2017 09:30

I also read the OP and wondered if he was hoping you'd simply say "Oh hop in and I'll take you!" The entire situation would have made me very uncomfortable and I think you did the right thing trusting your instincts.

floraeasy · 03/04/2017 09:34

He may have been okay. He may not.

If you've heard of the serial killer Ted Bundy, you'll know he usually lured his victims by feigning injury with a cast on his arm or using crutches. He would them bludgeon them, rape them then strangle them.

floraeasy · 03/04/2017 09:35

Ted Bundy played on acting vulnerable until he was alone with a woman.

Better be safe than sorry, I always say.

StrangeLookingParasite · 03/04/2017 09:35

You do realise that a 24 h store,even ASDA is not open on a sunday night/monday morning right?

This is so weird. It's not a 24hr store then.

Original poster
HeadFairy · 03/04/2017 09:36

Wow, lots of replies. Thank you, it's interesting to read everyone's thoughts. Don't worry, I already feel a bit of an arsehole. And no, I'm not a 2nd year law student doing an essay. I'm a 46 year old shift worker.

As for the age of the guy, he wasn't vulnerable in that sense, of course I would never leave someone who clearly looked under 18, but he looked mid 20s, over 6foot (I'm 5'10" and he was a good couple of inches taller) and there were lorries coming in and out of the Asda, I'm not sure if the shop was open or not but there were definitely staff there, I could hear their voices as they unloaded so he wasn't totally abandoned. I guess I just got spooked, I was polite to him, I didn't run screaming, but he surprised me and I suppose I just reacted instinctively. As I drove off I saw him wandering off towards the shops but it's just occurred to me thinking about it again why didn't he head to where all the lorries were and ask them?

OP posts:
Davros · 03/04/2017 09:37

That's a Boo Hoo Billy. Never help or give money to people in these circumstances.

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